Chapter 6
Mona
“You sons of bitches know better! I’ve told you assholes mo’ than once how you should act in public!
Yo’ father an’ me had y’all so we wouldn’t have to fuckin’ work!
We deserve to live nice an’ have money out the ass like yo’ uncles an’ their wives!
Get in public one mo’ time an’ act like y’all got som’ sense an’ see how being in time out gon’ seem like a fuckin’ cake walk when I’m done beatin’ y’all asses fo’ not grantin’ y’all’s father an’ me our fuckin’ free ass money!
Mona, you the prettiest of yo’ sisters! You better fuckin’ listen an’ listen fast!
Bitches run the world! Hence, you see how I run this motherfuckin’ household!
You gon’ run yo’ brothers an’ sisters! You gon’ be a fine bitch when you grow up!
You already gorgeous ass shit an’ yo’ titties ain’t sprouted!
Niggas, especially dope boys, gon’ sniff under dem drawls, an’ you gon’ lead they asses right into Broketown!
How? Yo’ siblings gon’ rob they asses blind!
Why? ‘Cause once yo’ check roll in, just like yo’ siblings checks, y’all ain’t gon’ see a fuckin’ red cent.
An’ you better not fuck no nigga! ‘Cause I ain’t finna take care of a child ‘til they fo’ years old, gettin’ them this an’ motherfuckin’ that just so child services don’t be in our fuckin’ faces.
When dinner done, y’all gon’ eat where y’all’s asses at!
Ain’t no ass washin’, talkin’, or watchin’ TV tonight!
Y’all’s asses gon’ understand you better be slobbin’ out the gotdamn mouf an’ lookin’ real fuckin’ dumb in public!
I need motherfuckas lookin’ at us wit’ all kinds of gotdamn sympathy!
The church dropped off a lil extra som’ som,’ an’ I loved that free ass money!
” I rehashed Momma screaming from the top of the dirty hallway while my siblings faced the wall.
My time-out spot was underneath a high-rise, raggedy table with tons of useless whatnots that I wanted to toss at her face.
Since I was the only girl with no acne, a beautiful, well-structured face, and straight, white teeth, I was under too much pressure.
I disliked how Momma treated my sisters as if they weren’t pretty because they had Daddy’s strong facial features.
I wished many times that our parents would drop dead right before our eyes.
“Stop all of that fuckin’ cryin’, ugly ass gal, you! Out of all my gals, you the most fuckin’ crybaby! You shouldn’t be! You should want to disappear into thin air wit’ that strong-ass man face you got, Laysha!” I continued rehashing, tears spilling more down my face.
I hated what came next for my big sister, who couldn’t stop crying. Momma had hurt her feelings from the moment we sat in the hot, carpeted red van with tint so dark that it seemed purple.
The more I traveled down memory lane because of August learning the truth, the more I cried because a deeper discussion was underway.
I never wanted him to know the truth, not solely because he was a jokester, but because it showed how weak my siblings and I were for parents who never gave a fuck if we lived or died.
Yet, we still respected them because God said we had to.
It seemed the more we obeyed God, the more we were treated like shit for forgetting that we weren’t slow.
Some days passed before my siblings adapted to our parents’ demands.
I couldn’t because I had big dreams of being an elementary school teacher and traveling the world during the summers.
One too many ass-whoopings, the cutting of my silky, long, healthy, jet-black hair, and nights of not having dinner, I hated to leave behind the person God intended me to be.
I was a curious girl, always asking questions.
I loved how smart Min sounded when she came to visit, or we visited them.
She was younger than us, but she was a fascinating girl.
She was very proper, sounding like how I used to before realizing who my parents were.
I wanted to be like her. Some nights, I daydreamed about being Min.
It helped me sleep better. I needed all my strength to deal with a woman I had to submit to her and her husband’s needs.
So, I talked the way they demanded. I slobbered out of my mouth and cocked my eyes so much that I damned near damaged the nerves in my eyes. I yelled after every three-hundred number count. I made weird noises and stuttered every one hundred count.
One day, I went overboard doing that in front of the people who evaluate kids. When we got inside the musty-smelling van, Momma back-handed me so hard that my head slammed into the window, cracking it.
As blood spewed from my head and I became dizzy, she snarled, “I told those folks yo’ ass can’t fuckin’ read that well an’ stutter.
I ain’t said shit ‘bout you actin’ like you’s a fuckin’ retard.
Don’t do that shit again. Stick to yo’ ass can’t fuckin’ read an’ understand, Mona.
After all, you can’t. That’s why I don’t allow captions on the TV or fo’ y’all to read books an’ magazines. ”
Later that night, Momma was still fuming because she and Daddy felt I would be taken out of their house and placed elsewhere to be evaluated more.
They didn’t like the thought of my disability money leaving because I wasn’t there.
Momma whooped the skin off my ass, leaving my sisters to care for me as my brothers turned our shabby home inside out with our parents’ bodies.
“King, my guh’s fuckin’ throat raw. I’m ‘bout ready to kick that high-rise table the fuck ova, snatch her ass from up undah it, an’ head to them folks’ house. I’m ‘bout ready to be on one of Georgia’s gotdamn news stations, nih,” August sounded frustrated, agitated, and angry.
“Sit tight, Aug. She’s calming down.” King exhaled patiently as my sobs simmered, not because of August’s tone but because I was all yelled and cried out. I had purged out the bad, knowing it wouldn’t leave until I faced my parents and brothers.
Wiping my face, I crawled from underneath the table, hating to look into King’s soft eyes and August’s angry eyes. I didn’t want to see sympathy and anguish in their eyes, as I saw in my siblings’ peepers for many years.
Not needing August to yell at me for looking at the ground, I held my heavy head up as I looked everywhere but at them.
My legs felt like jelly as I walked toward the wonderful, unhinged men.
My heart thumped chronically as I was about to unload the clip on them, and I hoped things turned out for the best because I was indeed in the middle of some shit.
Two types of shit that could cost me a pregnancy.
When I arrived before August and King, my legs gave out. Both rushed to catch me. August tried to pull me onto his lap, but I shook my head. Sitting my juicy ass on the backs of my legs, I planted my hands on my thighs.