Chapter 7
August
While I drove down the road, Mona rubbed the sides of my neck. Cutely, she whispered, “I’m in love with you, and I always will be.”
“You better. I’ll hijack that pussy in a hole King dug fo’ me. When I don’ beat that pussy to a pulp, I’mma leave yo’ nutty ass in that hole,” I replied, causing the fool next to me to laugh.
Dragging her nails down my neck, she cooed, “You wouldn’t leave me in that hole.”
“Shid, test me if you wanna, Mona,” I voiced, approaching the stop sign.
“Words I love to hear.” She giggled lightly, causing me to laugh and pop her ass.
Lifting my foot off the gas, I had to slam on the brakes. King’s truck fled down the road. Every light was on in his truck. The butterfly doors were up. Ass was tossed around while a shirtless Kingdon was on the passenger rails doing the beat-it-up dance.
King shot upright, repeatedly pointed at his truck, and hollered, “Get behind that motherfucka! I know who is driving my shit like that! I would love to know how the fuck they linked up between August Junior removing the battery ends off my shit to now! I’m finna give her motherfucking colon another gotdamn cleansing!
Kingdon’s big back ass finna be real motherfucking thin fucking with me!
There won’t be a toilet safe when I’m done with them! ”
Mona howled in my neck as I pressed the hazard buttons and sped behind the fuming nigga’s truck. As King produced his phone, stumbling over his words, Mona and I laughed harder at the nigga who was hotter than his tires’ treads.
“We won’t visit their house any time soon. I’m not about to deal with all of that shitting and Azaria,” Mona said seriously as I rushed to slam on the brakes and did the beat-it-up dance.
The loud crew was out of King’s truck, shaking ass and doing the beat-it-up dance. In the middle of the fuckas was Momma, having the time of her life dancing with Ryan. Relaxing much in the seat, King smiled. “My wife, you and everybody in that damn truck are saved.”
“Thank God.” I chuckled, rocking my head to Sleepy Brown featuring OutKast’s “I Can’t Wait”.
Resting my rocking head on the seat, I reflected on a time when I pulled up to the assisted living facility to hang out with Momma. She was on the wooden rocking chair, smiling and grooving. When I shut off my engine, she hollered for me to beat the assisted living place up while she danced to me.
On my seventeenth birthday, during the most beautiful day with the wind barely blowing, it was a sight to see Momma smiling widely while carefully dancing to me.
I was thankful she couldn’t see. She would’ve seen happiness, sadness, and tears covering my face.
I wanted her to see the world, but I never wanted her to see me sad, depressed, and aching.
For sure, I couldn’t handle her seeing me begging for answers as to what caused her to go blind when her eyes were healthy, just as the rest of her body was.
Once I grabbed her hand and twirled her around, our dance was the best birthday gift I had ever received.
I didn’t want anything material; I never did.
I just wanted to be underneath my momma for as long as I could.
My day ones didn’t bother me, nor did they bitch about having to watch August Junior.
They let Momma and me have our day and a good bit of the evening together.
“She’s home now. Wipe your face,” King ordered, snapping me into reality.
As my woman wiped my tears and kissed my lips, I looked at my leading lady being swirled from a cheesing Min into a joyful Kingsley’s presence.
Once the song ended, the crew chunked the deuces before walking toward King’s truck.
Kingdon escorted Momma in our direction.
Her salt-and-pepper-haired ass laughed hard, making me grin.
There’s no telling what Kingdon said to make her show all her natural teeth and pink gums.
“I have a sense we aren’t getting any sleep any time soon. If we start drinking, I’m sleeping wherever I fall,” King voiced, looking at me as Kingdon opened the back passenger door.
“Shid, I got a fleet of different-sized air mattresses for a reason. Family. My day ones,” I told him as the cheery duo’s voices graced our ears.
“A’ight now, TT, it’s time to wind down. I told you what I’m trying to get into tonight. We will have much time to do us before I head back to my new home state,” Kingdon announced as Momma slid into the back seat, eyes low, and greeting us extra chipperly. She was high.
“Hey, old guh. You smell like that good dope we smoke. Kingdon let you hit the blunt, I see.” King chuckled as Kingdon closed the door.
“Yes, his uptight ass finally did.” She giggled as I looked in the rearview mirror to see where Kingdon was. He was closing the driver’s passenger door.
When he opened it, Min skirted off in King’s truck.
Jumping in the seat, King hollered, “Auntie in this gotdamn truck now! There shouldn’t be a reason she is driving my gotdamn truck like that!
Everybody’s asshole finna be leaking for days behind this shit!
August, go to my house! When I get to y’all’s crib, don’t y’all drink no fucking pink lemonade!
Don’t listen to which one I said not to drink and see how much ass paper y’all run through!
TT, yo’ ass better not drink shit but water!
If you trust anybody outside of Kingdon, August, Mona, and me, your asshole will be leaky like a pussy after I ain’t had no guts in months! ”
“Wet! Wet!” Kingdon and I howled in laughter as I rapidly reversed.
“My God! The triple idiots!” Momma laughed hard as Mona was in tears from laughing.
While I drove fast to his house, three streets behind my house, King fussed, “I give her ass a fucking inch, and she takes thirty gotdamn miles.”
“Good pussy, top-tier mouth, and being a wonderful wife get those perks, nephew. So, shut up,” Momma sassed, causing him to simmer much.
Rocking his head like a drunkard, King smiled. “Well, that thang be having a nigga sideways. So, I guess, I can shut up. But I’m still gonna tag that asshole.”
“And you and the kids will be staying with August and Mona until your wife’s bowels have returned to normal.” Kingdon laughed as I turned onto King’s and Min’s street.
“Not this time.” He chuckled as Mona slid her fingertips around the hollow of my neck, making me shiver.
Kissing her forehead, I slid into King’s driveway. Before I could make a complete stop, King hopped out of the truck.
While he ran toward the garage, Momma said, “So, that nut basket still blowin’ y’all’s assholes out? Y’all should be used to that shitty stuff by nih.”
“That fucka has dabbled in edibles nih. Thanks to Mona’s ass,” I responded, looking at my leading lady.
“Where her cute ass at?” Momma asked, smiling.
“I’m right here, Momma Orthella,” my woman said lovingly. I adored how sincere and caring her tone pushed out Momma’s name.
“So, tell me why you ain’t spoken to me,” Momma sassed, rolling her neck.
“I did,” Mona replied defensively, shooting up from my body.
“Not like you usually do. I’m offended,” Momma pouted, fake.
“August sought my attention. You know you are his heartbeat, and I have to keep my eyes on him when his mind drifts,” Mona answered honestly, causing sympathy to blanket Momma’s face.
Dropping her head and fumbling with her fingers, she said, “I never thought you would ever allow yo’ mind to drift concernin’ me, Son. Don’t do that. You’ve made sho’ I’m fine. Trust that I am. Okay?”
“That’s hard to do. There’s so much I want us to see together.
Sometimes I’on like describin’ things to you ‘cause I feel like you should be able to see wit’ yo’ eyes.
Momma, what happened to yo’ eyesight? I know you had perfect vision,” I asked, praying she would give me something that would settle my mind about her vision.
“No reason was given to Otto an’ me. Doctors said they wasn’t sho’ what happened an’ nothin’ could be done ‘bout it,” she answered as King slid into the passenger seat, smiling wickedly.
I couldn’t respond to Momma because the nigga next to me raised his eyebrows rapidly and repeatedly while thrusting. Closing my eyes, I gritted my teeth and sternly voiced, “King, please tell me you ain’t took no time out of yo’ day to make frozen shitty concoctions.”
“I never know when one of y’all will piss me off, so I need to stay ready. I’m making pink lemonade Kool-Aid with real lemons, though,” he answered, shoving my right eyelid upward.
As Mona and Kingdon laughed, I growled, “My eyelid ain’t a pussy, nigga. Unhand my eyelid an’ put that seatbelt on. I’m finna hurry up an’ get you out my guh truck. You got all of five seconds to tell us which ones not to get.”
While I shoved the gearshift in reverse, King said, “The ones with fruit on top are only laced with watermelon-flavored moonshine. The cups with fruit at the bottom are mixed with lemonade, Kool-Aid, a lil prune juice, magnesium citrate lemonade, Metamucil, sugar, and vodka.”
“My fuckin’ gawd!” Momma hollered, laughing, as Mona gasped into my neck.
“Jesus Christ, King.” Kingdon chuckled as I rushed to drive onto the road. I needed the nut basket out of my woman and my house before he fucked around and factory reset our guts.
“Quiz time,” King sang, causing Kingdon and Momma to laugh. “Which frozen cups aren’t meant for anyone in this truck?”
“The ones with the fruit at the bottom,” we replied as he slung his mouth close to my jaw.
“You better not get high and forget. You will need all of Azaria’s wet wipes for that ass.
Don’t let my wife put us in a party mood, and you fuck around and snatch her cup …
Mona, you, and Azaria will need a colostomy bag to y’all’s asses.
I outdid myself this time. Trust me, I did,” he said proudly, causing me to growl and mash the pedal more.
“King, get out of my face,” I hissed through gritted teeth, nearing the stop sign.
Ring. Ring. Ring.