Chapter 17
August
The Next Day
After the blow-up, King, Ryan, and I went to the nearest bar. Shot after shot called my name because I needed to sleep peacefully. I didn’t expect the liquor to turn me into a nasty-talking, argumentative motherfucka all night with Mona.
Any and everything horrible imaginable came out of my mouth, slamming into her ears, forever taking up residence in her brain. She didn’t get any sleep because the moment I saw her eyelids close while she was outstretched on the sofa, I was back in her face, being a demon toward her.
When the liquor wore off at ten o’clock, and she kept her head down, ensuring not to make eye contact with me, I was ashamed.
I hadn’t been able to hold my head up. I couldn’t find the courage to apologize.
I didn’t want to hear my voice. For sure, I couldn’t look in the same eyes I made promises to, the same eyes I glared in and called her a ‘fourth grade reader, great dick sucka’ who needed to learn her place.
After breakfast, we dropped an inquisitive, suspicious August Junior off at school.
The air for sure became thick around us.
Momma, Momma Thea, and the kids talked to my wife; the other adults were angry with her.
Even Min alienated herself from her cousin.
Something I didn’t see happening. If everyone knew how horrible I was to her, they would’ve talked to her.
When King dropped us off at home, Mona and Azaria hopped in her truck, never telling me where they were going. I didn’t dare to ask. I knew if she was gone too long, she would reach out, especially since she had Azaria with her.
Six hours and forty-five minutes had passed since they walked out of the kitchen door that connected to the garage. Continuously, I paced the front room floor, wondering where she could’ve gone and how long she would be gone.
“August Senior, we need to talk,” Momma said as I still looked at the connecting door.
“‘Bout what?” I asked, unable to look at Momma.
“Yo’ rage.”
“That nigga deserved to have his ass beat fo’ lettin’ that skeezah do that to their kids,” I answered, finally looking at my leading lady.
“I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout that nigga. I’m talkin’ ‘bout yo’ rage against Mona,” she said lowly, causing me to frown.
“Momma, we argued ‘bout her mouth,” I semi-lied, unwilling to tell her how verbally mean I was to her.
“Oh, you did mo’ than argue wit’ yo’ pregnant wife son.
Accordin’ to Thea, who got it from Mona, you choked Mona ‘til she passed out, Son. Twice. She said she woke up by the balcony door, an’ you was tippin’ over …
lookin’ down at her … callin’ her a fourth grade readin’ good fo’ nothin’ but suckin’ dick bitch.
Mona, don’t lie, Son. I don’t know if anything else happened ‘cause Thea had to stop her from talkin’.
King was comin’,” Momma said as my knees gave out.
Flashes of tipping over by the balcony door came and went after I woke, but I didn’t focus on it.
“August,” Momma called out as I couldn’t see or find the will to speak. There was no way I blacked out like that and put my hands on a woman. Mine at that. I never moved like that in the past. A female never pissed me off to the point I had to put my hands on her. I walked away.
“August!” Momma called louder.
“Yes,” I voiced, dropping my head.
“Do you remember doing any of that to Mona?”
“I remember belittin’ her an’ sayin’ the fourth-grade reader shit but the physical abuse, no.” I choked up, understanding that I was more than a demon to my wife. I was a fucking monster who didn’t have the full picture.
“August, I’m afraid to ask Thea to demand Mona tell her what happened.
I’m petrified of knowin’. So, I’mma tell you this.
Yo’ father’s family are drunkards who beat on they spouses.
Yo’ father never hit me. He witnessed too much wit’ his family an’ alcohol that he didn’t drink.
You’ve always been great at toleratin’ yo’ liquor.
‘Til Mona questioned X,” Momma voiced as three sets of pipes sounded in the front yard.
One of them belonged to my wife. I was happy she was home, but I also feared looking at her.
“That’s still not enough fo’ me to do her like that.” I choked up.
“No, it’s not, but you did. You need to make her talk to you.
If she choose to divorce you, let her go.
It’s one thing to be beaten by yo’ mother …
an’ another to be physically abused by someone you planned to spend yo’ life wit’.
She was fragile befo’, August Senior. She’s even mo’ fragile,” Momma answered as Thiago fussed while ringing my doorbell multiple times.
“Come in!” Momma hollered.
“Get inside, Mona! You an’ Azaria got no business being in that rinky-dink ass hotel.
X said what she had to say. None of y’all in harm’s way.
I promise. I talked to her. The Augusts, you, an’ Azaria fine, given you had the fuckin’ audacity not to tread lightly wit’ her,” Thiago fussed as the door opened.
I didn’t have it in me to turn around and face her. How could I after what Momma said?
“Thanks for the reassurance, Thiago. No schooling is needed. Ever. I’m taking up too much of people’s time. That stopped last night,” my wife spoke dryly, walking fast by me.
“Nigga, why you on yo’ knees?” Thiago questioned as I watched my wife run down the hallway with our sleeping child tucked closely to her.
“Leave, Thiago,” I uttered, struggling to stand.
“The fuck you say,” Thames spoke sternly. “Mona ain’t even look yo’ gotdamn way. She’on even wanna do school. What the fuck happened that we’on know ‘bout?”
Before I could open my mouth, that gut-wrenching, wet-faced, spine-tingling, eyelid twitching scream ran from the back room. I sank as if I were in quicksand. My vision was blurry as if I had rubbed my eyes too hard.
“Monaaaaa!” Thiago bellowed, running down the hallway. Thames was next to me, asking me what happened.
Rocking back and forth, I looked back at him. I couldn’t see him clearly; tears clouded my vision. I heard Mona’s scream, making my stomach tighter. I stuttered, “King gon’ kill me.”
“Why?” Thames, Tobias, and Tiberius growled as Azaria hollered.
“One of y’all, please get Azaria and bring her to me,” Momma said sadly as my eyes were on the brothers.
My mouth moved rapidly. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them what I did. How could I? I was ashamed of the shit I knew I did. The other shit made me feel like the scum of the earth.
Mona’s screams blocked out Min and King’s entrance. Min ran down the hallway, yelling her cousin’s name.
“August, I overheard you telling the Trio Ts that I would kill you. Why would you say that?” King asked through gritted teeth, snatching me to my feet by the collar of my shirt.
The eerie, ‘please not again’ look blanketed my cousin’s eyes.
My legs felt like jelly as my stomach caved chronically.
Tears ran down my face, plopping onto my top lip.
Y’all covered up som’ shit that I did an’ don’t remember it, huh? Is that where the sayin’ if I ever put my hands on a woman … you gon’ kill me come from, I thought as King asked, “Why … did … you … tell … them … that … I … will … kill … you, August?”
My wife tore up our room, leaving me weaker than learning that I choked her.
“August!” King bellowed, shaking me. “Answer me.”
With my head in the hallway’s direction, dangling, spit flew out of my mouth as snot shot out of my nose.
Hating everything about myself, I cried, “Momma Thea told Momma that I choked Mona out. When she came too, she was by the balcony door, I was tippin’ toward the balcony door …
callin’ her a fourth grade readin’ good fo’ nothin’ but suckin’ dick bitch.
I know I was mean to her wit’ the argument an’ the fourth grade readin’ shit.
I remember that ‘cause I said it a lot. The belittin’, I remember.
I kept havin’ visions of tippin’ over a balcony, but I ignored it.
I thought it was one of those vivid dreams. Kinggggg, what the fuck have I done befo’ her an’ to her? I don’t … I don’t….”
Fear ran through the parts of his face that I could visibly see as he held out. “Oh, shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.”
As he dropped me like a sack of potatoes, King ran down the hallway, yelling Mona’s name.
Pathetically, I hollered, “King, don’t leave me here in the dark! Kingggggg!”
“Tiberius, get Kingdon on the phone now. A lot of shit ain’t addin’ up, an’ it need to … right now,” I heard Momma say.
Feeling pathetic, I hollered King’s name and fell onto my side. I didn’t understand shit about my life now and for damn sure then. As Momma said, ‘a lot of shit ain’t addin’ up, an’ it need to right now.’