Chapter 19 #2
“Yeah.” I sobbed, unsure how to tell August Junior that his father was loving but was a gotdamn monster too.
“I need you to seek one of my therapists. He’s trustworthy, good at keeping secrets and making sure you have a healthy mind.
I’m paying for it. He’ll be coming in today at six.
You will have an hour session with him every day until he tells me I’ve fixed my fuck up.
Then, I’m going to send you to another therapist. This bitch isn’t on the payroll.
She’s great at putting people back together after a hellava fall out.
You will have to beat around the bush with some things.
She’s helped my husband and me. I was the evil bitch in his book for years until I couldn’t be anymore.
The beginning of our marriage was rough because of how he met me.
I love my husband. I trust him with my life as he trusts me with his.
He knows my faults and why I did what I did.
I understand what I took from him. He forgave me for it and still chose to love me.
If you and Mona are meant to be, you have to do things the right way.
You must know all that you said and did to her.
You can’t ask her to forgive you when you don’t know what you did.
It was something hurtful because she has you in a shitbag for life.
She has you with a permanent limp like her.
She has your ears looking as if a rat had been gnawing on them.
She shot your shoulder with the intention of making you panic.
Based on her accuracy of shooting you to put you in a shitbag for life and kneecapping you, Mona didn’t want you to die.
She wants you to suffer, and you will. So, you’d better do all you can to learn what all you did and said to her, ask for forgiveness, and try to become associates for the sake of y’all’s kids.
I’m going to tell you now … counseling together may or may help y’all rekindle things …
it all depends on what you said and did to her.
August, if y’all can’t rekindle things …
I’m going to send you to another payroll therapist. He’s going to help you avoid resentment, push away from your family, and everything you love.
He’s going to rectify the biggest fuck up I’ve ever committed.
Okay?” she said lovingly, wiping my face.
“Okay.” I nodded, barely speaking above a whisper.
“I’m going to leave King with a nice wad of cash to look after you and your mother.
I’ll give Kingsley another wad of cash for Azaria, the twins, and Mona.
I’m sure she can get Mona to talk to her about the kids.
Mentally and physically, you aren’t fit to sell dope.
You have one hell of a battle to overcome.
When you have recovered from everything, I’m coming to you, and I’m going to ask you to forgive me.
Then, I’ll ask the twins and Kingsley to forgive me for fucking up y’all’s night and altering y’all’s future with those vivid images and the constant watching over you when you seemed off or started drinking,” she offered as the hospital door opened aggressively.
Everything make sense, nih. Them. Us. We wasn’t destined to be close ‘cause we double kin. We was destined to be close ‘cause I murdered a bitch. An’ the highest of the high ordered them to watch over me. We ain’t close ‘cause we ride-or-dies. We close by fuckin’ force. Her.
The patter of shoes, the humming of the light in the hallway, and August Junior’s growls caused my heart to split in half.
Once the door slammed, he spat, “You didn’t answer one call from me, but you got all the fucking nerve to be talking to her.
Where the fuck is my momma because she’s not answering my calls? ”
“I don’t know,” I sobbed, looking at my son with red eyes and curled fingers.
“Who shot you, Dad?” he asked through gritted teeth as it killed me to lie to him.
“I don’t know,” I cried harder as August Junior balled his lips and stomped my way.
“Where the fuck is my momma and sister, nigga?” he hissed, curling and uncurling his fingers.
“I don’t know, Son,” I cried harder as my vision became blurry.
Slapping his nose on mine, August Junior hissed, “Everybody in this bitch, minus kids and Momma. That’s all who has been here.
Momma not being here since you were brought in …
tells me who shot your ass. My thing is this …
why did she cap yo’ ass five times, Dad?
Don’t lie to me. I’ll snatch that shit bag off you and shove my pinky finger in that damn stoma.
I had a few hours on that plane to learn a lot about stomas an’ shit. Get to fucking answering me.”
“August Junior,” X said softly.
He jerked aggressively, shaking the bed.
Slamming his face in her direction, he screeched, “You may be that bitch in the streets, but you ain’t that bitch to me.
Don’t fucking touch me. If your ass is here, got him looking all mentally destroyed and shit, you should be the fucking one I ask …
where is my gotdamn momma and sister? You good at fucking up homes and shit while yo’ home all intact and shit. ”
“One, your sister and mother are safe. They are at the Duke’s Motel.
Room 320. Two, who the fuck said my home is intact and shit?
Three, I’m going to let your ass slide with your mouth because I’ve intervened in your life enough.
Four, don’t give your father a hard time.
Everything he’s experiencing is because of his love for you and what I said many moons ago.
Five, don’t come for me, August Junior. It won’t be wise to do that.
Six, be your father’s loving, doting son, starting now.
Seven, you don’t want to do that … not a fucking soul in this room will stop me from beating your ass with this motherfucking belt that I’m rocking.
Eight, I’ll discipline that ass like I do my children who think shit don’t stink when I say stay in a fucking child’s place.
Nine, when your father suggests you get your ass back to school …
get the fuck back there. Ten, don’t let me see you in this city longer than a fucking week.
You have shit to do, and that’s to accomplish your dreams. Eleven, this shit that’s going on right now …
has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the real adults then and now.
Twelve, don’t be stupid and think that I’m not that bitch to you.
You don’t have to be an affiliate of mine for me to bark for you to shut the fuck up talking to me before I give you all the reasons to wish you could fucking speak again.
That means, I’ll cut your fucking tongue out and drop it in your gotdamn lap.
Thirteen, kick off your fucking shoes, crawl next to your dad, and console him.
Y’all are about to go through some tough things, and he needs your ass to be strong for him …
even though you will be in Kentucky. Do I make my-fucking-self clear, August Abbott Junior?
” X asked, rising off the bed, sounding like the boss bitch who hadn’t recently shed tears.
“Yes, ma’am,” my son replied with no hostility in his voice as he sat on the bed, removing his shoes.
“Good. King, Kingdon, and Kingsley, will y’all please step outside?” X asked, stepping from the bed.
While The Savage Clique and my cousins walked out of the room, August Junior lay his head in the crook of my neck and lowly asked, “Dad, please don’t lie to me. What happened?”
With my heart shattering more, I looked at my boy through blurry vision.
I hated how my past destroyed the great plans Mona and I had for ourselves and our children.
Seeing all great moments go down the drain, I choked up.
“Yo’ dad a monster an’ been fo’ a long time ‘cause yo’ life an’ mine was threatened.
That’s all you need to know ‘cause I’m too ashamed to give you the real deal.
So, please leave it at that. Please, I’m beggin’, Son. ”