Chapter 38 Natalie
NATALIE
“Inever realized five-year-olds could scream that loud,” Claire said at Maisie’s birthday party a few weeks later.
I smiled and nodded. “I never realized my life could be this chaotic and messy,” I admitted.
She raised her brows at me, almost seeming concerned. “Chaotic? Are you talking about that bombing at the docks last night?”
Cringing as I shook my head, I corrected her. “No. I mean, that did kind of freak me out.”
She sighed, letting her shoulders slump as she rested her hand on her large baby bump. Within the last month, she’d really filled out. And in the last couple of days, I swore her baby had dropped. Her due date was a week away, but I wondered if this little one would come sooner than expected.
“I told Mikhail he'd better hope there is some semblance of peace when I have this baby.” She made a face. “Because I won’t be available to patch anyone up as quickly.”
“Or at all,” I joked. “Those early days were brutal. You’ll be all hands on with the baby.”
“Mikhail, too.”
I watched Anya wince at popping another balloon as she tried and failed to make an animal out of it. “Anya, too.”
Claire smiled softly. “I hope this isn’t a case of her imprinting or something.”
“Like ducks following a mama duck?”
She nodded. “At first, she was so sassy, so combative, like she’d never want anything to do with me. Over time, we got closer. I’m just worried she says she wants to go to med school someday just because of me.”
I laughed lightly. “That would be praise, Claire. Not a concern. It means she’s impressed and wants to be a bad ass just like you.”
“Me? A bad ass among all of them?” She gestured at the Orlov men who took turns trying to put Maisie’s toys together. Not one of them was using an instruction manual, and I knew they’d regret it.
“Yes, you. You’re a bad ass mama.” I scoffed a weak laugh. “Or almost mama. And you are so ready to pop.”
“Okay, but that chaotic comment. What did you mean?”
I suspected that she would always be concerned about how I was adjusting to being in this family and with these Mafia men. Starting out so scared and nervous and na?ve, I proved that even I could adjust and change.
“Not about the bombing?” she checked. “Because it is hard. It’s hard to roll with the punches and know that violence will always be a part of our lives. Even if it doesn’t touch us personally.”
“No. Not that kind of chaos. And I know what you mean. All the violence will never stop. It’s just so messy here.
” I flung my hand out at the penthouse overtaken with wrapping paper.
My ears were still ringing from Maisie’s scream of glee when she opened the box with the stuffed horse toy that she’d been wanting for so long.
“Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that this is my life.”
“With Sergei?” she asked.
“Yes. And just being with everyone here. I used to feel so alone. And it’s impossible for a moment to myself anymore.”
She laughed lightly.
“I used to live paycheck to paycheck, slaving away so many hours just to be able to put food on the table and pay rent.” Rent was a term of my past now, since I told that landlord I wouldn’t be moving back in.
“I’m surrounded by so much that I never thought I’d be able to dream of having, and not just the materialistic things.”
Glancing around to make sure Sergei wasn’t near and within earshot, I checked that his uncle, brother, and cousin weren’t close enough to overhear our girl talk too.
“What?” Claire perked up, looking around. “You’re thinking about marrying him and you never thought you’d remarry?”
Well, that too, kind of. Not that I would remarry, but if he was ready for marriage at all.
As if on cue, Sergei glanced up and sought me out, smiling that slow and secretive smile he liked to save just for me.
I bit my lip. “They don’t know how to read lips, do they?”
She lifted a cup of water. “Just in case.”
I hugged myself with one arm and propped my elbow on it so I could partly cover my mouth with my hand. “I mean…”
She raised her brows, still drinking.
“It’s a prop, Claire,” I admonished playfully. “Don’t chug it. You don’t have room for that much water.”
She smiled and just lowered the cup. “Come on. What? What’s got you so… weird today?”
“Don’t tell Sergei. Yet. Or anyone until I know.”
She furrowed her brow.
I licked my lips to whisper. “My period’s a little late, and…”
Her eyes popped open wider and she clutched my forearm. “Oh, my God!”
“Oh, my God what?” Mikhail asked. He was clear across the room but always attuned to his wife. “Did your water break? Is the baby coming now?”
She sighed and hung her head. “No. I told you. I will be sure to directly and immediately let you know.”
He held his hands up in a half-hearted truce gesture as he resumed putting one of Maisie’s toys together.
“Again, first pregnancies can take a long time,” she lectured him, using a tone that implied he’d been cautious and asking a bit already.
Andre scoffed. “It’s not like it’s your first time having a kid.”
“It’s the first time I’ll be allowed to be there,” Mikhail shot back.
Claire pivoted me to face her. “How late?” she mouthed, cupping a hand around her lips.
I shrugged. “Enough that it’s making me wonder.”
She smiled and hugged me. “Oh, this is so exciting!”
“Nothing’s official yet,” I whispered back as we hugged.
Literally. Nothing was official between me and Sergei. Claire asked about marriage, and I was still wondering about whether that step would happen next for us. Because if I was pregnant, he should know.
It was hard to tamp down the thrill of being a mother again. To bring a brother or sister into the world for Maisie to grow up with. She was already thoroughly invested in Claire having a baby soon. She had big plans to spoil him or her.
Nervousness kept me in check, though. If I took a test to see if I was pregnant, and I told Sergei, then I’d always wonder if he would only propose because of the baby. Not out of love.
That’s nonsense.
You know he loves you.
“It’s still so exciting!” Claire said. She went stiff, hugging me awkwardly.
“Um. I think something more exciting is happening right now, though.” I reared back, holding her upper arms. “Either you chugged too much water and peed your pants or—”
“It is happening!” Mikhail announced, jumping over toy boxes like they were hurdles as he ran toward us.
“Or your water broke.”
We both looked down at the puddle of liquid on the floor. More wetness stained her maternity pants.
“I stand corrected,” she stated, matter-of-fact.
“You said nothing was happening yet,” Mikhail exclaimed, taking her hand.
“It’s not! I don’t have contractions. Not real ones.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Hang on. You’re a doctor and you’ve got an encyclopedia of medical knowledge in your head, but you’ve never been pregnant before.”
“These are just Braxton Hicks,” she said.
“Because you’ve lived through them before to know? How long have they been going on?”
She winced.
“Claire…” I scolded.
“Never mind. Long enough. If they were the real thing.”
“Oh, you’ll know now.” I guided her to the door with Mikhail. She had already asked if I’d accompany her at the hospital, desperate to have someone not associated with her last experience at the hospital with her. I was more than happy to be a new, friendly face to help her through labor.
Sergei waved me off as he held Maisie. They’d be entertained until the baby came.
And forty hours later, the sweet little boy decided to finally make his appearance. Owen was a healthy and hale boy with a set of lungs that would rival Maisie’s.
Being part of Claire’s birth and helping both her and Mikhail to get through the process was a gift I’d treasure. Anya was there as well, and between both of us, we did all we could to make sure Claire didn’t “go insane” without an epidural since the first one failed and they couldn’t do another.
I was driven home, eager to see my baby. And my man. Sometimes, it really hit me how wild it was that I once saw Sergei as the enemy. He was mine. My lover. And maybe the father of my next baby.
Putting my hand on my stomach, I sighed and wondered so many what-ifs that I could hardly keep track of them all.
Whatever the future held, Sergei would support me and guide me through it all. Just like I hoped to be able to always offer him the same kind of trust and love he deserved.