Chapter 12 Jasmine
Kacey can’t stop her smile from forming when I walk back into the kitchen, phone in hand, remnants of all their voices rattling in my mind.
“Stop it,” I say, shooting her a brief look and hopping onto the counter.
She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to.
I accused Kane of feeling smug, but no, smugness is the feeling radiating from this necromancer. Her questioning gaze dances over me without pausing her steady grinding in the mortar.
“Just say it,” I sigh, dragging a hand over my face and through my hair.
“How did you sleep?” Her gaze now locked on her crushing, but I catch the sly, subtle undertone.
“Fine,” I reply, blunt. Then, softening. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”
She flinches and stills, the pestle frozen in her grip.
I tilt my head, studying her expression, but she won’t look at me as a new emotion brims.
Something warm and hot. Something dangerously close to desire.
“Oh,” I murmur, a slow smile forming as I hop down and catch her gaze. “Maybe I’m not sorry.” My grin deepens. “Maybe I deserve a thank you?”
“Shut up,” she snaps, now aggressively stirring.
I flinch, shocked, did Kacey just tell me to shut up?
I bark out a sharp, sudden laugh, leaning in close enough that she has to step back and look at me. “Wow, I like this Kacey. So, you and Amon, huh? Big guy took the first chance he got—”
“Not like we slept together or anything,” she fires right back, pointing the pestle at me. “Y’know, like someone. Someone who said they hated them, couldn’t stand to be near them, but the next thing I know, Ezekial’s in the atrium while you’re having a lovely nap with his brother and—”
“I need to thank Amon,” I interrupt as I stare at this fiery woman with new, appreciative eyes.
“What? Why?” She frowns, lowering the pestle.
“For releasing this spicy side of Kacey.” I gesture to her, smiling. “The side that doesn’t hold back. I want more of her.”
She blanches, then sets the mortar down and rubs her gloved hands together. “Sorry, that was… I don’t know. I’m just struggling with this. I’m not good with change.”
I step closer, careful to still give her space. “Hey, I deserved it. I was being insensitive, but you got me back good.”
She lifts her wary gaze, a soft smile curving her lips. “You seem… better, J.”
And I feel it.
The last few weeks, I’ve felt like I was drowning. Suffocating. Everything felt murky, thick and so heavy.
But now, I feel… alive. Refreshed. Energised. I also feel something else, something I’ve been trying to ignore the second Kane flitted me here with two bags of food and then left.
The thing that made me set a meeting, even when I knew I shouldn’t.
Longing.
And hearing them all, each of their voices—together—even for the briefest moment… it’s only amplified. Turning the feeling into a knot, tightening with every movement, tugging at my skin, begging to be undone.
I don’t want to admit it, but maybe it’s safe enough to say in my mind, just to acknowledge that…
That I...
I’ve missed them.
I slam my face into my hands and groan so loudly Kacey’s feet leave the ground.
“I set up a meeting, K,” I groan into my palms. “Tonight.”
“And… how do you feel about that?”
Indecisive. Conflicted… excited.
Urgh. I hate that I’m excited to see them. That a rush of adrenaline fills me just at the thought.
I take a deep breath. “I have no idea. They were fighting, I could feel it and I just…” I just wanted to see them.
To see they weren’t hurt, that I hadn’t unknowingly inflicted something—like I had with Kane. I just wanted to be sure.
“But I have no plan, I’m not prepared.” I look up at Kacey, her face soft with understanding. “What do I even say? How do I even begin a discussion like this?”
How could I ever trust them? Did I even want them as my bonds? Platonically or… otherwise.
“Well, we’ve got the rest of the day to prepare,” she says brightly, clapping her hands together. “The support team’s in today, so we can—”
I frown. “But what about Amon—”
She shakes her head, dismissing it. “Let’s focus on you right now, okay? We can talk about that… later. But first, and this is a biggie, so don’t go shutting me out with one of your blank stares.”
I eye her warily as she interlocks her fingers, and anxiousness trickles in the air.
“Do you want them?”
What. A. Question.
I freeze, then blink, opening my mouth just to shut it again, until I finally manage one word. “What?”
“Think, J. Feel it. You need to decide before you walk into a room with the four of them. You need to know.”
“So I don’t string them along? So I don’t mess with their emotions like they did mine?” I scoff, bitterness creeping in as I scowl.
I forgot, she’s on their side. They were her friends first. I’m secondary—
“No, J. No! That’s not it at all!” She throws her arms wide, shaking her head. “I want you to know what you want, because it’s your choice, not theirs. And…”
Then her features twist into something… mischievous. A gleeful light behind those baby-blues. “And maybe you should string them along. Just a bit. Play them at their own game.”
“You’re openly encouraging me to fuck with them?” I stare at Kacey.
Who is this woman Amon has released? And how do I keep her?
“I thought they were your friends?” I smirk.
“You’re my friend too. And, well, they did it to you first, didn’t they? They didn’t tell you what you were to them, made your head all messed-up.” She shrugs, lips pulled into a downward smile. “You’re just getting them back, making it even.”
My full grin erupts at her impish attitude. “Sounds like a plan, K.”
Her smile widens, picking up her pestle again and grinding the concoction with renewed enthusiasm.
“Do I even want to know what you’re making so… passionately?” I ask, eyeing the mixture with mild horror, coughing when the potent earthy smell catches in the back of my throat.
When she peers up, with a maniacal grin and glittering eyes, I almost take a step back.
“I overheard you talking on the phone, and when you said you wanted to meet them tonight, well…” She lifts the mortar, letting the scent hit me again. It’s strong, but also strangely… familiar. “I just thought a little truth serum might help,” she ends with a casual shrug.
And I swear, if I could touch this woman, I’d drag her into my arms for a punishing hug.
***
I’m nervous. I haven’t felt nerves like this since my first official night at The Inferno.
I shake myself out, roll my shoulders, give myself a small nod. I can do this. This is fine. There’s nothing worrying about walking into a room filled with four powerful men who are also your bonds.
Nothing at all. I have all the power here.
I am here.
Thank you, creepy voice.
I always knew the voice was mine, even when I tried to deny it, it’s just a…
darker side. The one that knows my deepest desires and only erupts from its tight containment in times of need.
But I’ll be in control tonight, I won’t lose myself to my darkness.
And without words, I know my smaller voice agrees.
Because earlier, when I held a small pair of scissors to my throat, pressing the tiny tip against my pulse. My darkness didn’t stop me.
Was it fucked up that I was purposefully marking myself? Absolutely. But would it make Julien furious to see a mark on my body, in the place he intended to mark, knowing there’s nothing he can do about it?
Yes.
The scratch was quick, minute, a few droplets formed but not enough to fall. Anyone else would miss the small, angry red line, but he won’t. My scent will be that tad stronger and knowing that, psychotically, makes me and my darkness preen.
As for Sai, the one who, as Julien so poetically stated, indulged the most, I’ve planned something more.
My power will be all over him. Relentlessly.
Physically, in the form of invisible coils no one else can see.
Subliminally, with the dark amethyst silk of my blouse, almost identical to the hue of our conjoined powers.
I may have left an extra button open, just enough to reveal a thin silver chain that hints at something connected to the end.
That would be another surprise.
For Ezekial, a less invasive mind-fuck. A skirt.
Kacey and I had searched through all the gifted clothes for this one item. Similar to the one I wore when he called me beautiful. But shorter, tighter, almost a little too revealing. I’ll never wear it anywhere else, but he doesn’t need to know that.
But for Kane… I’m stumped. He’s never shown much interest in any of my physical attributes. Not that I remember, except… A memory flickers to life, his gaze latching briefly onto my legs, to the thin reveal of thigh above my knee-high boots.
It was the first time we ever met.
Bare legs it is.
Now dressed, I’m pacing my room in heels as I rehearse my performance. Because if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s perform. You had to when you worked in a club like The Inferno. My walk, my voice, every micro expression—all perfected. This will be no different.
Every pause. Every word. Every look.
I’ll ensure I hold all the power in that room. I’ll show them how much of a manipulator I can be. And this is the first step, making them wait. I won’t be late, but I won’t be early. I’ll arrive a second before the exact time that I’ve allocated. Because my time is valuable and I wait for no one.
At 10:29 PM, I flit into Ezekial’s waiting room, and feel them immediately.
It’s minimal, dimmed, reduced enough that my darkness doesn’t strike out, only curls around me. Wary, hungry, but not starving.
They’re suppressing their powers, just like I did at The Inferno. But it’s not to hide, it’s to lessen the impact on me.
How sweet of them.