Chapter 37 Jasmine #2
The breath catches in my throat when I realise what he’s staring at. Kane’s hand is on my spine in a heartbeat, steadying me, though it only makes the rush of heat flare sharper.
“An imbued muzzle and collar,” Ezekial mutters, glaring at Sai who laughs, delighted. “You think I’m joking?”
“What do you think, Red?” Sai’s grin is back to its wicked glory. “Would a collar suit me?” He leans forwards, voice dropping to a sinful rasp in my mind. “You could chain me up, make me kneel, see how long I obey before I bite.” Then his eyes drop again. “Hold my muzzled mouth to your bare—”
Julien shoves a piece of toast into his mouth, thankfully stopping him, forcing him to chew.
Laughter bubbles out of me at the absurdity of… this. Them.
The four of us, in bed, having breakfast.
After I’d just been kissing Kane. He’d been kissing me.
Kane.
It’s insane. Incomprehensible.
It’s—
Right.
I freeze. It’s not the word, it’s the voice. It doesn’t sound so strange anymore.
And if last night hadn’t happened, if they hadn’t had lost control, would we be here now? Would I be feeling this way? As horrific as their suffering was… it brought them to me, and I made a choice. Immediately.
Kane’s still touching me, fingers trailing up and down my spine. Ezekial grazes my hip. Sai’s hand, even over the covers, now holds my ankle, his thumb stroking the bone. Only Julien isn’t touching me… huh.
“When do you need to feed?”
Julien blinks at my sudden question, deep maroon eyes meeting mine. “I am sated.”
Sai finally swallows then scoffs. “Liar.”
Julien glares, Sai grins back.
“That’s not what I asked,” I say, finishing my last bite of toast. “You said everyone eats on Fridays. Did you?”
“I… no.” He looks away, flustered, such a rare look that I find undeniably sweet.
“Why didn’t he feed?” I direct at Sai, knowing he’ll always answer.
He smirks. “I’m not the only one who wishes you were on the tray, baby.”
“Oh,” I say aloud, and everyone looks at me, but I focus on Julien. “So do you need to feed weekly or…?”
His gaze flickers to mine, and it’s wary. “When the need arises.”
I roll my eyes, then shift to face Julien fully. “When do you need to feed from me again?”
His lips part, close, and then he goes completely still.
I’ve never seen Julien so… human before. He’s not prepared, he’s speechless. All his layers fall away, no more charming, elegant vampire with endless strategies and plans, all that’s left is the man.
Then his gaze deepens, becoming molten. “I didn’t… I was uncertain if you would…”
“Unless you don’t want that?” My voice is smaller than I expected. “I just thought… assumed you’d want to—”
Julien tenses like he’s about to flit, so I stop. Did I say the wrong thing?
I look to the others for guidance, but now they’re all focused on him, expressions mixed with concern and confusion.
“Yes. I want that.” Julien winces like the words fell out before he could stop them. Then he releases a slow, shuddering breath, and his eyes sweep up to lock with mine. And the hunger, the raw, burning, aching need, rushes through me. “Always.”
So that’s how he feels. His pupils dilate, black seeping into the rich maroon as he stares at me and my heart pounds at the darkness peering out.
“I think we need to pause this conversation,” Ezekial suggests, eyeing the encroaching shadows. “Julien.”
But Julien doesn’t move, doesn’t acknowledge anyone as his eyes slip to my throat and darken.
Until his shoulder’s knocked by a crackle of blue. “Dude.” Julien blinks, eyes landing on Sai. “Down boy.”
He glares at the taunt, but Sai never looks away as he holds up two fingers. “Zeek, make that two muzzles.”
Julien exhales a laugh through his nose, lips twitching. Sai grins back just as deviously, like they’re sharing something in that one look, especially when Julien adds a non-committal shrug.
“We need to tell Jasmine about last night.” Kane’s voice snaps everyone back to attention. Yet when he looks at me, those dark eyes soften, holding a wisp of grey. “We found the girl.”
I start to smile, then I feel it. Sadness.
His fingers pause on my skin. “It’s Kacey’s sister.”
The sister Kacey thought she’d lost, she’s been here. All this time. A prisoner, tortured, assaulted, right beneath her feet in the cells...
And I found her. Then lost her.
Anguish rips through me.
“She’s alive,” Ezekial adds gently. “Kacey spent the night healing her.”
Kane’s shadows trail up my spine, a soft pulse trying to soothe the sorrow.
“He had her, all that time…” I murmur.
“Makes you wonder what else he kept from us,” Sai grumbles, and everyone holds those words for a moment.
“When we got to The Divide, most of the prisoners were already dead. Surviving there is… difficult.” Ezekial’s voice lowers, and my fingers reach under the covers for his.
“The ones that did survive, had been compelled to attack. It wasn’t possible to break that many compulsions at once, I barely managed to put a barrier up in time to stop the Cloaks from fleeing. ”
“How many were there?” I ask.
Kane and Ezekial share an unsettling look.
“We were overwhelmed,” Kane provides, rather than giving a number. “There were no other survivors,” he adds, not to be cruel, just honest.
I swallow. “Is that what triggered your… darkness?”
They both go still, and I try to picture what they must have faced. The chaos of The Divide. The horror of the attack. Kacey’s sister emaciated, brutalised, terrified…
“It was seeing her there,” I say with quiet realisation, turning to Ezekial. “Seeing Kacey’s sister there, it reminded you of...”
“Of Sherida.” He nods. “The moment I broke through Lucanus’ mind, he showed enough of The Divide for me to flit and I…
” He looks away. “I let my rage lead me, I just… went. I should have strategised, I should have waited, should have told you all first.” His eyes sweep over us.
“I’m sorry. My impulsiveness risked us all. ”
“Zeek, you think we’d have been any better?” Sai scoffs, but it’s soft. “I trained the fucker. I should’ve known something was wrong with him when Orion voted against his promotion.”
“Lucanus has had the serum infused with my blood, many times.” Julien’s voice lowers. “I should have been more observant.”
“I should have broken him sooner.” Kane’s eyes hold his brother’s. “It shouldn’t have been you.”
They don’t even see it, how instinctively they protect one another, how quick they are to share the burden. And that quiet, stubborn devotion… it makes me want them all the more.
“When I saw her… in that cage…” Ezekial winces. “The memories, the sounds of that place, the smell…”
I squeeze his hand so tightly, my darkness unfurling, covering him in gentle vines of grey.
His soft silver eyes land on me. “But after, when everything was still, my darkness brought me here.” He lifts my hand from under the covers, brushes his lips over my knuckles. “To you.”
A flutter stirs low in my belly.
“You grounded me. If you hadn’t…” He shakes his head, eyes closed as his mouth keeps brushing my hand. “I was ready to burn it all to the ground. Every barrier, every district, the realms. The urge to find every last one of them, no matter the destruction, no matter the lives—”
“But you didn’t.” I cut in before he drowns in what-ifs. “You came back to me.”
His metallic gaze burns, lips searing the pulse at my wrist.
“And when Dark Zeek turned up here, me and Julien joined the fun.” Sai grins brightly, shattering the tension like only he can. “Had to drag Kane outta there, didn’t we, Daddy Darkness?”
“You tried,” Kane mutters.
“In the aftermath, we found Prospero.” Julien’s voice is calm, eyes fixed on me. “He was already dead.”
My shoulders drop. Another lead, gone. Another truth left buried.
“We brought the girl, Raelynn, to Kacey for healing,” Julien continues. “We did not know who she was until then.”
“Poor Kacey,” I whisper. “Her poor sister.”
“Prospero may be dead, but revenge is a powerful motivator.” I frown at Julien’s words.
Kane’s fingers trace my spine again. “Tragedy changes people,” he murmurs. Words I remember well.
Ezekial presses another kiss to my hand, then threads our fingers together as he lowers it onto the bed. “Kacey has requested to resurrect him.”
Every hair on my body lifts.
“We want your input,” Kane adds.
My input? I look at them all, but they’re still, waiting, like they genuinely want to hear what I think.
“Will it hurt Kacey?”
“No,” Julien answers, shifting a little closer. “It is draining, and after healing her sister she will have less power for a few days. But she knows this. She wants answers.”
And, maybe selfishly, so do I.
“He could tell us so much,” I murmur, studying the covers as I consider it all.
I used to think ignorance was easier than the truth, but now that I have the choice… we have a choice.
Kane’s cool fingers cup my jaw, drawing my face to his. “This is your decision.”
“Mine?” I frown, trying to turn to the others, but he holds me still. “But he was an enforcer, a Council member, he served with you for decades. It’s our choice.”
“We want what you want,” Kane says firmly.
And I believe him. That they’d be happy to live with the not knowing, to move on and bury this in the past, if that’s what I wanted.
But I’m sick of the not knowing.
“I want to know everything.”
“You heard our girl.” Sai grins wide, markings ablaze. “Let’s go resurrect this fucker.”