Chapter Thirty-One
Beckett
“We were meant to meet each other this summer.”
Keeley’s words stay with me through the night and into the next day.
Her words, and the kiss to end all kisses. The kiss that put all other kisses to shame, that shook me to my very core.
My entire world has been turned upside down, and I am not sure I’ll ever be able to flip it back.
Not that I’ll ever want to.
Kissing Keeley in the pouring rain last night broke a dam in me. A dam that’s contained everything in my life and has not let me feel for a long time now.
The rain may have derailed all of my original plans for a romantic first date—believe it not, ice cream while sitting on a truck tailgate wasn’t all I had planned for the night. After all, I’m a man who was raised by two amazing women—Mam and Gran—who taught me way better than that. But what transpired was better than anything I could have planned.
I wasn’t expecting or planning to kiss her. My goal for the night was simply to make her feel safe and desirable and cared for. I only intended to do something thoughtful and meaningful for her.
Our apartment building, on the other hand, clearly has a mind of its own and provided us the perfect setting for a perfect first kiss. It was the most passionate, romantic moment of my life. One that will be seared into my brain forever.
So much so that this morning, when I wake up to find that the rainstorm has passed and the sun is once again shining and bathing the world in gold, I find myself wishing for rain as I walk to Blue Notes.
Which is absurd. I mean, I live in Ireland. Rain is our only constant, and we love to complain about it. I never, ever thought I’d see the day when I would find myself longing for it.
“Are you lost?”
The voice startles me, and I look up from where I’m standing in the middle of the street outside Blue Notes like a halfwit to see Andrew, of all people, standing in front of me. He’s holding a brown paper bag with grease stains at the corners, and he’s frowning.
“Oh. No.” I keep my gaze steady and cool as I look at him. Not lost, just lost in thought.
“You sure?” Andrew presses, his brown eyes suspicious.
I want to tell him to go take a hike, but instead I say, “I’m grand, thank you.”
My words are polite, but my tone is anything but. I can’t help it. Seeing Andrew brings up this protective, almost primal instinct in me. I know he’s old news for Keeley now, but the fact is, he hurt her. Therefore, I kind of want to deck him in the face.
I’ve never punched someone before. Or even wanted to.
I’m a musician, for goodness sakes. My hands are exceedingly important.
But these are the kinds of feelings Keeley’s stirring up in me. Emotions I didn’t even know I had—ones that run so deep, so thick, so strong, that they make me want to do things that are totally out of character. And potentially unhinged.
Andrew must read at least some of this on my face, because he takes a step back, his eyes darting back and forth before landing uncertainly on me. “I know you don’t like me. And I get it, bro?—”
“Not your bro.”
Andrew scrubs a hand over his face. “I was a jerk, okay? There, I said it. Happy now?”
My cool tone becomes cold. “No.”
He sighs. Swallows. “Look. That day, when I saw you guys in the elevator, my behavior was not okay. I see that now, and I’m sorry.”
His apology catches me off guard. Every time I’ve met him, he’s acted so condescending towards Keeley, I’d taken him for someone who thinks he’s never wrong.
But I don’t want to speak for Keeley or her feelings by accepting his apology, so I just give him a brusque nod.
“I know you and Keeley are tight,” Andrew goes on, dragging the edge of his sneaker back and forth along the sidewalk. “And that seemed to happen so fast. I think… I was jealous.”
“You were with Lisa,” I say pointedly.
He holds up his hands. “And I had no right to be jealous. I was— am —with Lisa. It took me a while to understand why I was feeling that way. I actually talked with Lisa about it at length before coming to the conclusion that the jealousy I felt was misplaced. A gut reaction to watching the woman I dated for years look so happy and content and relaxed with someone she’d just met. More so than she ever acted with me in the five years we were together.”
I can… kind of understand that. The fact that he’s apologizing actually makes me think he’s grown somewhat with Lisa. I feel some of my iciness towards Andrew begin to thaw.
“I think, deep down, Keeley and I both knew for a long time that we weren’t right for each other. And it took me a while to accept that.” He shrugs. “I’m happy with Lisa. She fits with me in a way Keeley never did. And when I see Keeley with you, it’s clear I didn’t fit with her either, no matter how hard I tried. Whereas you seem to fit with her so effortlessly.” He clears his throat. “And I get why you feel the way you do about me. But for what it’s worth, I want you to know that I’m happy for her. For you both.”
“Thank you, Andrew,” I say. “I appreciate you saying that—although I do think you’re saying it to the wrong person.”
Because what else is there to say? It’s the truth.
I know this feeling all too well. It’s what I had with Roisin—a relationship that was wrong, but that was hard to let go of in the moment, and with hindsight, it ending was clearly the right thing. Allowed her to find the right person in Frank Doherty, apparently.
Now, I have found the person who is oh-so-right for me in so many ways. And if what Andrew’s saying is true, I’m right for her in those ways, too.
We were meant to meet this summer…
Keeley’s words mingle in my mind with Gran’s favorite saying— what’s for you won’t pass you.
I have no idea what the future holds, but if anything is crystal clear to me in the present, it’s that what’s for me is spending time with Keeley for whatever time we have left. Not letting it pass without making the most of it.
“I know.” Andrew nods at me. “And next time I run into Keeley, I’ll tell her all of this too. Apologize to her.”
I nod back. “Good.”
“I’m… glad she has you.”
“I’m glad I have her,” I reply. Because it’s true—for whatever time I have with her, I’m exceedingly grateful. “See you around, Andrew.”
As I walk into Blue Notes, I take my phone out of my pocket.
Becks
Are you free tonight?
The response is almost immediate.
Keeley
Yes.
Keeley
Why do you ask?
Becks
Because I’d like to ask you on a second date.
Keeley
I’d like to accept.
I smile.
Becks
Without even knowing what we’re doing?
The next message that comes through makes my smile even wider.
Keeley
Not worried. If our last date was anything to go by, this one will be great craic.
Keeley
Did I use that word right?
My response is simply the truth.
Becks
You were perfect.