18. Chapter 18
Chapter 18
Viola
I t's incredible what two weeks of near isolation will do for you. I'm a little ashamed at how much more I appreciate my companions' presence now than I did before.
And it's not just Mace. It's not just finally chipping through that ice that had grown around my soul that leaves me feeling this way.
As we walk, I sneak glances at my friends. Plume, in gauzy pink pants that she traded medicinal herbs for here in Feria, with a brown wrap top and her hair piled high on her head, walks beside Zeph. Plume sent messages throughout the Lowlands to gain believers and devotion for me even after I snuck away in the night.
Zeph, wearing his standard green tunic and linen pants, laughs as they catch up. My high priest, the man I thought I never wanted to see again. Just being near him makes me feel more powerful. He risked so much to get me out of Ytopie. His motivations and methods were not great in the beginning, but the man turned it around and did the right thing. And now here he is, with a group of people who are not entirely fond of him, supporting me.
Tulip and Morrow walk side by side, their arms brushing against one another as they move. Morrow has his braids wrapped in a burnt orange wrap and wears a deep blue tunic and brown trousers. When Tulip isn't looking, he stares at her profile, his eyes full of care and devotion. Tulip regularly turns around and throws smiles my way. We had a nice catch-up this morning, during which I shared with her more about what happened in Ytopie, and she told me about their travels.
"Mace was strange, Lola," she had said to me, whispering conspiratorially over a mug of steaming coffee. "If he spoke, it was to bark orders, and he spent most of the time just throwing magic around."
"Fuck," I whispered, guilt churning in my gut.
"I know why you did it conceptually, but damn, Lola, you nearly broke us." She took a long sip of her drink, eyes locked with mine over the mug. The bitterness of the coffee is barely a match for the sharpness of remorse. "Even Morrow lost it a couple of times. He swore for the longest time that you purposefully chose to abandon us."
"You didn't believe that, did you?" Patrons were starting to file into the tavern for breakfast, and I could hear Quade and Huck shouting something at each other. I slipped out of my chair across from Tulip and sat next to her. "You know I'd never leave you behind," I said.
"You did, though," she reminded me. You left me behind. You didn't tell me. I knew you'd come back, but that didn't lessen the sting. "
We sat side by side, drinking our hot coffee and both staring out the decorative window by our table. "You're my family, Tulip," I said quietly.
"You're mine too, Lola."
"Then you know that I am going to fuck up and do stupid things but that I will always be in your corner, and I will always return to you."
She turned her head to look at me directly, her blue eyes clear and crinkled at the corner. Her youthful smile, with a small gap between her front teeth and skin slightly freckled from the sun, stretched wide across her face.
For the rest of my long life, that is how I would always see Tulip. With the rays of the morning sun backlighting her and her straw blonde hair wild, she looks free and lighter than I've seen her since I met her. She is beautiful, her soul gentle and caring, her mind sharp and fierce, her heart huge and welcoming. And I am so better for having met her.
I cleared my throat from the emotion blooming in my chest and changed the subject. Tulip, blessedly, let me. "What is going on with you and Morrow, by the way?"
"Nothing," she said almost too quickly. "You don't need to worry about it."
"I'm not worrying," I said, wrinkling my nose. "I want to know what's going on with your life. He's still calling you wife, right?"
"Seriously, Lola, it's just a joke. Nothing is going on." Her body was stiff as she threw back the rest of her coffee. "Oh, look, there's Quade. I'm going to go get more coffee."
And she stood up and ran off.
That's where we left things because shortly after she ran off, we all left for the docks. Tulip looks over her shoulder at me again, half of her mouth quirked in a smile. "With what Himureal told Lola, are we sure we want to bring the rest of the Gods back?" The question is for everyone and no one in particular, but I speak up for everyone.
"I'm not sure if we can trust everything he said to be the full truth," I say, looking around at the bustling, thriving city. Who knew a place like this existed in Krillium? "The bonding was cleverly worded. He said he'd tell me what I needed to know. I needed to know his version of things. But that doesn't mean it's the truth."
"Yeah, the whole three versions of things – yours, mine, and the truth, right?" Morrow says, shaking his head. "At least we got the journal out of it."
"And Zeph," Plume interjects. "Having Viola's high priest here and removing Himureal's false one is a huge boon for her power."
Morrow glares at the back of Zeph's head, and like he can feel the heat from it, his shoulders slump. "Sure, whatever you say, Plume."
Mace, who has been quietly trailing behind me until now, raises his voice to be heard by all of us. "There is no discounting the power a high priest can give their God. I have a feeling heading to Roisia, we're going to need all the power we can get."
Our feet stomp on the well-built dock, and at the end, I spot familiar sails on a small but hearty ship. When we reach it, a few deckhands notice us and then rush off. Within moments, Jax is leaning over the side and staring right at me. "Viola fucking Mistflow," they say with a smile, launching themself over the side and landing with a crash in front of me. I'm yanked into their arms and squeezed in an uncharacteristic hold.
"Jaz," I say through compressed lungs, "what in the world are you doing?"
They pull away and look at me, from the white hair down to my fingers, and slowly shake their head. "You think I don't hear shit, Viola? You think I didn't hear about Colris?"
I wince and cross one arm over my chest, tapping my fingers on my tricep. "Ah," I say, as if that explains everything.
They roll their eyes at me and place their hands on their hips. "Yeah, ah." Silence stretches between us as they appraise me with critical eyes, eventually satisfied with whatever they were looking for. Jaz looks at the group behind me and then skeptically back at me. "You picked up a stray?"
Mace laughs loudly. "No stray. My brother, Zeph Nightroot."
"And Viola's high priest," Plume says. It's curious to me how Zeph is not speaking for himself. I haven't known Zeph long, but he has never seemed afraid to speak up for himself.
Turning to look at him, Jaz narrows their eyes. "High priest? Like the journals that you lot were looking for?"
He steps forward, extending his hand, and Jaz tentatively shakes it. "The very same. My goal is to help Viola harness the magic created through devotion and sacrifice by those who believe in and support her."
"Ooh, so you're a real God now," Jaz says, elbowing me. "That why you look so weird?"
"That's why." My voice comes out gruff as I shift uncomfortably. It's not worth elaborating on. There is nothing that can be done. Shaking the comment off, I tilt my head to the side. "We came to ask for passage again," I begin. "We need to get to Riosia."
"Of course you do," they groan, ruffling their hair.
"You know it?" Plume asks, her head tilted to the side.
Jaz swings their head to look at the Spring fae, a smile I've never seen before drifting across their face. "Sweetie, I'm a sailor. I know the areas to avoid." They look back at me. "I'm assuming you wouldn't ask unless absolutely necessary?"
"I wouldn't. From there, we need to go to the Cliffs of Barez." I watch as Jaz fists their hips, tilts their head back, and looks up at the sky.
After a few tense moments, they say, "Alright. I can have the ship ready to leave at first light tomorrow. I'm going to tell you now. My crew and I cannot go on that island with you. We'll get you there and wait for you, but I cannot ask my crew to risk themselves like that, and without me, you won't make it to the Cliffs."
"Understood," I say curtly. One of my favorite things about Jaz is that when it's time to talk business, they do. There is no back and forth. Just a frank discussion of needs and requirements. "What do you require from us?"
"Whatcha got in terms of supplies? Not gonna bullshit ya, we're running low."
Plume pulls her pack around her front and hands it to Jaz. "Inside are several rare medicinal herbs, as well as cosmetic ones that allow for coloring of hair and tattooing." Jaz opens the bag, looking at the contents and then back at Plume curiously. Shrugging, the fae smiles and says, "My magic allowed me to speed up the growth, while Mace boosted output with some Prosperity. I've heard these are quite valuable."
"Oh, I know how valuable they are," Jaz says with a grin. "I'm impressed." Turning to me, Jaz throws the pack over their shoulder. "Alright, I'll use this to get everything we need for the journey. Did you keep any of this for yourself?"
"Yep!" Tulip says, bouncing on her toes. "I've got a similar pack."
"Good, because I'm spending this all."
I chuckle. "I would expect nothing less."
It's our final night in Feria, and word still has not gotten around about the dead fae man except to the city leader, Xande. He approached us, told us we were good, and then left. It was very unceremonious, and I don't think the fae was very well liked.
We pile up at the bar again, where Quade grins at us. "My favorite customers," he says with a grin. "You know you only had two nights in the room, right?"
"Come on, Quade," Morrow says, snatching up the zzar that was automatically poured for him. "You can give us another night in them."
"Yeah, I can. It's not like I have people busting doors down to get them." He tosses his rag on the counter behind him and reclines against it. "Just one more night, then?" he asks, eyeing Tulip.
She smiles as she leans across the bar and pats his head. "Gonna miss us, Quade?"
"Miss your trades, yeah," he says dismissively, but it's obvious in his eyes that he will. "But I get it. You got a world to save."
After a few glasses of zzar, Huck comes out of the kitchen. I can smell the burning wood, the smoke of fire used to cook the food. "Hungry?" he asks, looking at us. "I got hand pies tonight." Everyone answers in the affirmative, and moments later, Huck has wooden plates in front of each of us with pies on each of them.
"These are excellent," Zeph says through a mouthful as he stands up. "But I need to run an errand. I'll see you all in the morning." He's out the door before any of us can ask where he's running off to.
"Where is he going?" I ask Mace, turning my body more on my stool to face him. "Did he tell you?"
Mace shakes his head. "We still haven't really talked through everything. We've kept our distance." There's a hint of pain in his voice, but I know I can't rush them when it comes to patching things up.
"He didn't say anything to me," Plume says before I can ask. "But I can imagine this situation has not been easy for him. I suspect he feels very ashamed. We witnessed all of his darkest moments."
Morrow looks at Tulip, who sits on my left. "Has he apologized?" he asks her.
"No, but I also haven't been alone with him." She wrinkles her nose, taking another bite of the hand pie and speaking through a full mouth. "Not that I know if I want to be alone with him. Or that I want him to apologize. He really fucking scared me, and he roughed me up a bit too." Morrow stiffens beside her, his fist gripping his glass so tightly his knuckles whiten. "Worse part is, I was convincing Viola to choose him over Mace."
Mace sputters. "You what?" he asks indigently.
Tulip laughs loudly. "I mean, can you blame me? You know who you are. And besides," she drags her eyes up and down his body. "You're too skinny."
Morrow chokes on the sip he'd taken of his zzar. His body is very similar to Zeph's, only slightly bulkier in the arms and a little rounder in the belly. "Good to know my body attracts you, wife," he says with a purr.
Quade freezes in place as he walks to the kitchen to return our plates. He turns slowly, eyes on Tulip. "You're married?"
Tulip waves her hand, rolling her eyes. "In his mind." All of us pretend not to hear the breathless quality of her voice. "It's a running joke." One glance at Morrow tells me exactly how much of a joke this is to him.
Which is not at all.
Nodding tightly, Quade disappears, and conversation stalls. Everyone but Tulip seems to realize just how deeply Morrow feels for her. I'm not sure if it is denial or aloofness, but someone is going to have to have a conversation with that woman shortly to open her eyes.
I'm just going to pretend that someone is not me.
"Are you going to come back?" Quade asks towards the end of the night.
Mace shrugs, wrapping his pinky with mine where it sits on the bar. "We don't know what's going to happen. I certainly hope this isn't the last we'll see of you, Quade."
The big man grins, clapping Mace over the shoulder. "Me too. Quite enjoyed having you all here."
"You want to come with us?" I ask, only half joking.
"Nah, you're on a death mission on that island," he says, chuckling. "Besides, someone needs to be here to remind people to believe in you."
His words circle the worn and comfortable room before sinking into my skin. I shiver, the implication and impact of the words causing my body to freeze momentarily. "You'd do that?" I can't help how quiet my voice is. "You'd help me?"
The look on Quade's face is pure confusion. "Of course I would. A human who is a God is going to do the best she can to take care of us, I think." He scratches his beard. "Plus, your people have good things to say. Figure it's the least I can do."
I smile, nodding my head. "Thank you for your support."
"Oh, shit, Mace," Quade says, abruptly changing the emotional conversation and turning to my partner. "I got those beans for you."
"Beans?" I ask, raising my eyebrows. Mace waves my question away, accepting a tightly packaged brick of burlap from the proprietor.
"I took the liberty of grinding 'em down for you. Wrap a bit in cloth, tie it off, and soak in hot water," the man says as Mace catalogs his instructions. I look between the two with confusion but Quade just smiles at me. "Don't worry about it, Shadowweaver."
Rolling my eyes, I give Mace my back and face Tulip. She grabs my hand. "Lola, I'm still a little pissed."
"I know," I say softly.
"And I know what we're about to do is very dangerous," she continues.
Morrow grumbles, draining his glass. "You can say that again."
"And I know what we're about to do is very dangerous."
I groan as Morrow drops his head on the bar top. "Cheeky creature, aren't you?" he says, slightly muffled.
Tulip bites her lip, fighting really hard not to burst out laughing at her own joke. "As I was saying, I'm still pissed, I know this is going to be dangerous, but I am so glad you're back, Lola. And I'm very glad I'm on this journey with you."
Pulling my friend to my chest, I wrap my arms around her, memories of almost losing her floating to the surface. "I couldn't do this without you, Tulip."
"You could," she says softly. "But I'm glad you don't have to."