Chapter 5 #2
“Hey, don’t trample over my childhood crush, Torin. Do you remember your first kiss?” The words came out without processing at first. “I mean…”
“It’s okay, Anna. I don’t know what happened to me before I was turned. But I haven’t initiated kissing anyone for the last twenty-five years.”
His voice held so much conviction that it erased the absurdity of his statement. I believed him, but his peculiar choice of words stirred something in me.
And then, my mind took me back to five years ago. Had he slept with Layla?
Torin’s face had turned ashen, and I wanted to lighten the mood.
“So, how did you deal with all the horniness and pent-up energy?”
“I killed the enemy, Anna.”
I wanted to reach out and brush the hair off his face, tell him soothing and kind words, so before I got myself in more trouble, I stood.
“I’ll go to bed.” My eyelids had grown heavy, and I was ready to end this long day.
Torin scooped me up in his arms, and I yelped. He only let go of me once he laid me on the bed. After not sleeping on the long flight, this bed felt like heaven. The mattress dipped next to me when Torin sat on it.
“I won’t sleep in your bed, Princess. Don’t look so disappointed.” He let out a low chuckle.
I liked playful Torin, as long as he didn’t eat me, of course.
“I have nightmares from PTSD, and I can hurt you if you’re close by.”
My heart clenched for this broken man. I nodded at him, using all remaining energy, and turned to my side, away from him. I buried my face in the soft pillow and sighed.
A warm hand touched my head, and fingers ran through my hair. I felt way too comfortable around this man, and I shouldn’t have.
“I see you have no problem touching, Torin,” I muttered against the pillow.
It was so natural to tease him and talk to him that I wanted to stay awake.
I was unable to fight it any longer, though, and slumber began to take over.
“I’m adapting. I hope it gets easier,” he whispered.
“Will you bite me when I’m asleep?”
“I’ll try not to.”
I snapped my eyes wide open and turned to face him. “Then get out, Torin.”
He raised his eyebrows at me in a duh expression.
“Do you really think a door will keep me away from you?”
“This is so messed up,” I said.
I kept on blinking until I gave up and closed my eyes. The mattress moved again.
“I’m going to the training facility to tire myself out. Sleep tight.”
Tonight, I would, but what about tomorrow?
Tomorrow, I would have to start making his pack my new home, even if it was dangerous to be around the vampire Alpha.
The werewolf kingdom was no longer my home.
The weight of the high expectations seemed impossible to shoulder as a human.
The impending war filled me with a sense of inevitable defeat.
And the disdainful gazes of the Alphas, who shared power alongside my father, pierced me with their rejections.
I would do anything to avoid returning to the kingdom, including becoming Luna and staying in Torin’s pack. Eventually, Torin would have to trust me with the security of his vault, and I would gain access to my book.
That became my latest foolproof plan. If only life were that simple.
A tiny sigh escaped through my parted lips. My human life in London was over with. Painful as it was to leave Tammy behind, I wouldn’t want to risk her life again. Sinking deeper into the mattress, I pressed my hands against my chest and folded my legs under the blanket.
The late-night conversations, the endless laughter as we indulged in junk food in front of a movie that we didn’t pay attention to—each memory with Tammy was a gem I would treasure.
I didn’t know when our paths would cross again, so I drew in a shaky breath, deciding that our separation was only temporary.
And although I missed Mom and Dad, the kingdom was no longer my home. The kingdom had become a place of turmoil before I moved to London, and I couldn’t bear to be a part of it any longer. But the decision to leave my childhood home behind was not without its own sense of grief and guilt.
My cousin had a lot to do with my decision to leave. I had let Layla drive me insane with guilt. She had gotten under my skin even before Torin pulled her onto his lap the last time I saw them together in his boardroom.
Torin had to like women like Layla—the type that, when she walked into a room, she captured every man's attention with her beauty and confidence. What did they do after I left for London five years ago? How close were they back then, and how about now?
I didn’t blame him. Most men in the kingdom fell for my cousin at first sight. She was the embodiment of a werewolf princess—possessing pride in the way she presented herself and who she was. She demanded attention while I stood in the corner of the room.
Yet I got stuck with the title of being the next Queen. A human. Flawed. Headstrong. Shamefully fearful of the future and the supernatural world.
I might not be royalty-worthy, but I still hoped a man could love me, just me—human and all.
Torin, like the other people in the kingdom, was oblivious to the suffocating anguish I harbored inside my chest. Guilt that I allowed Layla to forge into my soul. I could never pay off this debt of sorrow and remorse.
So, when Torin gripped Layla’s hips while she sat on his lap all those years ago, it was like another pinch of salt in an already deep wound. But the wound wasn’t deep and broad only because of Torin’s rejection. It was there much before that.
As a child, I learned that the other kids’ laughter always seemed just out of reach.
I watched from my bedroom window as they played tag in the meadow, my nose pressed against the glass and my mouth blowing hot breath over it.
I used to draw smiley faces or hearts over the fogged surface with my tiny finger.
I sensed I was different from the other kids in the kingdom, and I thought if I could be best friends with my cousin, I would have more friends, go to birthday parties, and spend my time playing outside.
The cute pig-tailed girl was my ticket to getting close to the other pups.
But Layla, even while Uncle Derek was still alive, made it clear that I wasn’t welcome around her and her friends.
In elementary school, I could not have possibly understood my cousin’s attitude toward me, but almost twenty years later, it’d become clear that her jealousy stemmed from the fact that I was born the first princess, and her father adored me.
Her friends told their friends not to play with me or spend time with me, and I found solace in books and the forest.
Soon, every step I took within the kingdom brought anxiety and dread.
Layla was my constant reminder of the place where I didn’t belong. She lived in the werewolf kingdom, and being close to her would only increase the weight pressed against my chest. So, by default, I didn’t want to return to the kingdom, even though I longed to see Mom and Dad.
I was terrified of what I might find there.