Chapter 7
Chapter
Seven
Aflash of light blinded my eyes, and I opened them. Images of yesterday’s events flooded my sleepy mind, and I gazed out the window at the magnificent morning view.
The trees and brush had kept most of their green color. Torin’s pack was nestled in a valley, surrounded by hills and small mountains, but the temperatures were still higher than those in London. Pine needle leaves covered the ground, and a false sense of peacefulness fell over my body.
I couldn’t deny that I liked Torin’s gentle side, but I wouldn’t be running into his arms. And just because he didn’t bite me during the night didn’t mean he wouldn’t do so another night. Would he get used to being around me the more time we spent together?
I really hoped so, for the sake of my life.
I needed to tell Torin I would stay in his pack for now, however long that was.
I liked the idea of contributing to his pack, to be needed, to be the pack’s Luna.
My relationship with the Alpha had a long way to go before it improved, but I could still perform the duties of the Luna in the meantime.
Staying here was my best option, even if I did it for the wrong reasons. Avoiding the kingdom and the war against the vampire Queen was much more dangerous than remaining in Torin’s pack as his Luna.
And my book was only a bedroom away.
I hoped Hayden had forgiven me for leaving him behind and would be reasonable enough not to trespass on this territory. I was grateful for Hayden’s protection all these years, but I couldn’t fully reciprocate his feelings. I also didn’t want to be where he was—the kingdom.
The guilt behind my chest had lessened after I told him the truth and my choice to remain at Torin’s side, but Hayden didn’t sound like he would easily give up on me.
I’d call him again soon. I couldn’t forget the years he’d dedicated to be beside me.
I cared for Hayden, and the mate bond drew me to him physically, but I wasn’t in love with him.
Pushing my thoughts about mate drama aside, I swung my legs over the bed. I hoped Torin wasn’t in his room so I could invade his closet. I wasn’t sure how I would disarm the motion sensor where my book rested without Torin storming into his safe room, catching me.
But then, did it matter anymore? All I needed was enough time to grab the book and attempt to open it without Torin interfering.
I was about to jump out of bed in search of my book when the inside door creaked open, and Torin walked in, smiling, but he couldn’t fool me.
The dark circles around his amber eyes and the dullness of his gaze told me he’d had difficulty sleeping.
Not only did he have to struggle with his nightmares, but he also had to fight his urge to enter my bedroom during the night.
His appearance was bad timing, but after taking one look at him, my sympathy for the man won.
“Can I get in your bed, Princess?”
My mouth fell open. And here I thought he would take it easy on himself by keeping his distance in the beginning. Yet, he insisted on being close, experimenting with touching me, torturing himself, and fighting with his vampire side.
I regained my ability to talk while Torin gave me bedroom eyes.
“Why are you asking when you could demand and have your way with me, just like you did in London?”
Torin stood at the door entrance and took a deep breath.
“I apologize, Anna,” he said, and I almost went into shock.
“But as soon as I heard your father talking about you being assaulted by vampires, I left to see you. My vampire side was already on edge in London, but when I returned to California, I realized how strong and independent you’ve grown, and you didn’t need an angry hybrid Alpha. ”
My insides warmed at his words, and I wished Torin could share more with me.
“Thank you for telling me that,” I said and sat up in the bed, propping the pillow behind my back for support.
“There are things I’m not ready to tell you. But I’m working on it,” he added.
I gazed at him for a moment and then nodded.
The urge to confront him about his secretive nature tugged at me, yet I pressed my lips together.
Memories of Tammy surfaced, her understanding gaze and her unwavering patience as I withheld some truth from her.
I had my reasons for not telling her about the supernatural existence, and Torin held his reasons, too.
But Torin understood what I needed intuitively, even if he hadn’t spent much time with me. He took a few steps inside the room but didn’t approach me.
“Torin,” I said, clasping my hands together in my lap, “I really want to see my book.”
He regarded me for a long moment.
“The book is special to me,” I said softly. “I feel it holds a piece of my heritage.”
I met his amber eyes. He stood near the doorframe, his arms crossed over his broad chest, dark hair falling carelessly across his forehead. His eyes were intent on me, watching my every move with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
Torin’s brows furrowed, and he hesitated for a moment that seemed to stretch out into eternity. He had reservations about opening the book.
After letting out a heavy sigh, he said quietly, “All right. Because I’m here with you.”
My heart raced. “Thank you.”
Torin retreated into his bedroom, and after a moment, he returned carrying my book. My outstretched fingers trembled, and he placed the book in my hands.
I traced the edges of the cover, a faint spark of energy zipping through the contact as if the book recognized me. I smiled and mouthed the title—The Book of Banished Souls. Torin stood beside me as I tried to pry open the book.
“Come on,” I said, frustration edging my voice as I pulled the cover harder.
It remained tightly shut, its secrets locked away from me.
I glanced at Torin.
“Do you want me to try?” he asked.
Nodding, I handed the book to him, but then I wondered if I’d made a mistake. What if Torin damaged the pages with his supernatural strength? My eyes grew big as I watched the most powerful half werewolf, half vampire pry on the cover to no avail.
“Why won’t it open?” I asked.
Torin exhaled loudly and gave me the book. “It’s meant to be opened in a different way, Anna. It’s not strength that we need.”
There was something we were missing. I flipped the book back and forth. As my frustration grew, I scraped my fingers over the cover.
I drew in a deep breath and returned the book to Torin. “Today we won’t find the answer to opening it.”
Torin gave me a soft look and walked into his bedroom. He came back empty-handed. He was no longer hiding the book from me but keeping it safe from everyone else. There were others after my book, after all.
“I actually walked in your room to tell you something but got distracted. I can’t rewrite the past, but I can try to build a future with you if you let me,” he said in a low voice.
“You don’t sound so sure we’ll be together in the future, Torin.”
“Because I still don’t know how to make it work.”
I patted the spot next to me on the mattress, and Torin smiled as he sat down.
“The scent of your blood is ten times stronger to me because you’re my mate, and I want you in every way possible. I hate my vampire form because he makes it impossible to be with you. All because Victoria turned me without my consent.”
I shivered at the name of the vampire Queen. Everyone else, including my dad, called her anything else but by her name.
Consent was the keyword here. There were humans who would consent to be turned into vampires.
Turning a human into a vampire without their knowledge or against their consent was the worst crime vampires committed.
Willing humans were also supposed to consent before a vampire drank their blood—another crime vampires got away with.
The vampires had committed so many crimes in the last thirty years that all werewolves were impatiently waiting for the next royal ruler after Dad to take the vampire Queen down. Torin seemed to hate her just as much. After all, he was one of her victims.
Torin placed his large hand over mine, completely covering it.
As I watched him, a realization struck me.
Even after Torin built a wall between us in the past, I still felt closer to him than Hayden.
Just as I was torn between two worlds, so was Torin.
He couldn’t reconcile his werewolf and vampire sides, not accepting fully his immortality.
It wasn’t something he wanted, but it was forced on him.
I was born human to werewolf parents and struggled to find my place in the world. Why didn’t I have a wolf spirit? I struggled to accept my humanity as much as Torin couldn’t accept his vampire side.
We were more than mates. We were both unable to find our home. It was easy to show my vulnerable side to Torin, just as it was easy for Torin’s stoic mask to slip and for him to reveal his vampire to me, which happened often. And this made me relate to the Alpha more than I could relate to Hayden.
But for Torin and me to be together was as dangerous as it was powerful. If I were to have a relationship with Torin, it would verge on near death if he lost his cool. Why would the Fates make us be on two opposite sides of the food chain?
The pleasure I could receive as his mate came with danger and pain. I seemed willing to pay the price, seeing that I intensely disliked returning to the werewolf kingdom.
As Torin adjusted his position on the bed, I sprang out of it and dashed to the walk-in closet.
“So that’s why it’s better if I dress and we go for breakfast,” I said over my shoulder.
The mattress creaked under Torin’s heavy frame.
“Smart girl. What I want and what’s good for you are two different things.”
I slid my hands over the softness of the clothes and shook my head as I picked out black jogger pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Torin and I had similar clothing styles in common.