Chapter 13
Chapter
Thirteen
After the meeting, Torin and I retreated to his suite upstairs.
Torin silently seethed during dinner, and I didn’t know how to bring up the topic of marking me without making him defensive instantly.
So I swallowed two bites of food since my stomach wouldn’t allow me to eat more, and I retreated into my bedroom, hoping Torin would follow me.
I didn’t want to sleep with such a bad taste in my mouth.
I lay in bed without undressing. The room felt empty, devoid of warmth and sunlight. Long shadows danced across the walls, and in this moment, I felt Tammy’s absence. I wished I could see her and talk to her about my troubles.
I closed my eyes, summoning the sound of her laughter that had filled my London apartment with joy.
Her voice used to chase away my worries.
Tammy had always been my rock, one to lean on when life became too overwhelming.
And although I couldn’t reveal the supernatural existence to her, I found solace in the unspoken understanding between us.
I missed the comfort of knowing that Tammy was there, ready to listen.
I couldn’t bear the thought of putting my best friend in harm’s way, the risks too great.
Instead, I clutched onto the memories we shared, replaying them in my mind.
The late nights of consuming junk food until my stomach ached.
Our long chats in the library or her café.
The shopping marathons that ended up in the food court.
My lips curved as the memory of our unhealthy eating habits surfaced.
I loved having meals with Torin, and I would love to get to know his Councilmen and their mates better. But nothing could compare to talking to my best friend.
Even across oceans, I knew our friendship held strong, and if I called Tammy, it would be as if I’d never left.
Reopening my eyes, I took a deep breath. “Torin.”
I didn’t have to shout with a supernatural mate. The door that connected our rooms swung open, and Torin’s head peered in, eyebrows raised.
I gave him a weak smile. “Can I please have your phone again?”
“Of course,” he said, pushing the door wide open, strolling inside.
When he reached the bed, he handed me his phone.
“I’ll call Tammy.”
He nodded and walked out.
I couldn’t tell her much, but I only wanted to hear her voice. I pressed the numbers and waited.
“Hello?”
Only when her groggy voice sounded on the line did I realize the time difference. I must have woken her up.
“Hi, Tammy,” I said in a shaky voice.
“Oh my gosh, Bree. Are you safe? It’s so good to hear your voice.”
I attempted to swallow my emotions. “I’m fine. I’ve missed you, girl.”
There was a pause of silence.
“Liar. You’re not okay, but you can’t tell me.”
Tears welled up, and I blinked rapidly.
“Do you want me to fly over there? I can leave immediately. I’ll have one of my managers do extra shifts at the café… I can figure it out—”
“Tammy,” I interrupted her. “I wish you were beside me now, but there’s only danger here, so you can’t come.”
I pushed down the image of Lisa’s body surrounded by a puddle of blood on her bathroom floor deep into the abyss of my mind.
“I just wanted to hear your voice,” I said, but my voice cracked at the end.
Tammy took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Whenever you’re ready. I know I’ll see you soon, Bree.”
We didn’t talk long after that. She told me her café business was doing great and that she hired an additional barista. The trivial conversation relaxed my body, sinking me deeper into the mattress.
After we said our goodbyes, Torin walked into my room, and with him, my troubled thoughts about mate bonds and markings returned.
It was hard to swallow the truth that my mate didn’t want to mark me. I handed him the phone, and he sat next to me, seeming to want to watch over me while I fell asleep. He didn’t ask about Tammy or how I felt. I was sure he’d overheard the entire conversation with his extra sensitive ears.
His broad shoulders slumped forward, and his head bowed. Torin supported his chin with his hand, elbow on his thigh.
Being around me, fighting with himself, must have exhausted him.
Was I such a trigger to him that he couldn’t mark or be with me in the way a mate was supposed to be?
“Torin, go to bed,” I said gently.
“As soon as you fall asleep, Princess,” he said in a low voice.
I sighed. “Why do you insist on watching me while I fall asleep? What’s so fascinating about it?”
“I’ve missed so many moments with you. And since I can’t hold you in my arms and fall asleep with you, that’s all I can do now,” he said and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.
“So you can’t sleep next to me, and you can’t mark me… Then what kind of Luna would I be?”
The sigh he let out was as tired as he looked.
“I won’t risk your life, Princess. Don’t ask me more about it.”
“But Torin, being marked is important to me. It’s everything I’ve wanted from a mate. Heck, I thought I would never receive such a blessing, and now you’re crushing my hopes.”
He took a sharp breath of air. “I’m sorry, Anna. I just can’t.”
He looked almost tortured as he pleaded with me to understand. And I did, but that didn’t soften my own pain.
My biggest fear was that I wouldn’t have a mate, let alone be marked. It was as if Torin was carving my heart into tiny pieces with his sharp talon.
My eyes stung with tears, so I closed them. The dull ache of rejection thrummed in my chest. The logical part of my brain told me that Torin hadn’t rejected me. He’d made it clear that he desired me with everything in him.
But he couldn’t understand me. He couldn’t overcome his fears enough to understand that the marking ritual was one of the most important parts to me.
Because he would make me feel like I belonged to someone, to a pack—something I had never imagined would happen to me.
Now that I had the chance to experience it, I longed for it, wanted it so badly that it hurt my chest.
Torin looked and sounded so broken that my heart ached for him, for us.
Would there ever be us in the way I wanted?
Perhaps I could convince him to mark me after I helped him overcome his fear of biting me after he opened up to me.
I wanted to believe that with my help, Torin could overcome his past and fight his demons, bringing us closer.
It seemed almost impossible for our paths to align, especially when his past haunted us.
But I wanted to believe I could be the one who could heal him.
I couldn’t argue with him now and didn’t want to, so I only said, “Okay.”
Moments later, darkness took over.
Suddenly, sharp pain exploded in both my shoulders. A heavy weight pressed against my collarbone as if I were carrying the chains the warriors trained with. My eyes snapped wide open, realizing I was awoken from my sleep.
Torin was on top of me with his eyes closed. I gasped as the situation I’d woken up in hit me hard.
Looming above, Torin had me pinned against the mattress. He sat on top of me, his hands pushing my shoulders down, his face scrunched up in pain. His breathing turned into panting, followed by deep grunting sounds from his chest.
Panic surged within me as I realized he had me trapped. His rough hands pushed forcefully against my shoulders.
“Torin,” I said, but my voice became shaky.
With his eyes tightly shut, Torin seemed unaware of the horrific reality. He was having a nightmare. I was in the situation he feared the most.
A whimper escaped his mouth as if he was also in pain. I flared my hands to the side but only shook the bed, and the Alpha didn’t notice.
How was I supposed to escape his tight grip before he did something hurtful? The very scenario that haunted Torin’s subconscious was unfolding now, and if he were to harm me in any way, he wouldn’t forgive himself.
But it was too late. Torin let out a loud growl that shook me to the bones. He released my shoulders but only to lift his arm and make a fist. I stared at his large hand, unable to blink.
He would never strike me. Never. Torin had been so gentle with me.
How much pain plagued his nightmares to cause him to lose himself like this? Torin didn’t even realize I was underneath him.
“Torin,” I yelled, and a strangled sob escaped my mouth.
His arm lowered, making me flinch, and slammed with force next to my face. I inhaled sharply.
“Torin,” I shouted again, but his eyes remained shut.
Although he was still locked in some terror, he moved to the side of my body, kneeling. I was freed from his weight, but his hand seized my throat before I could escape.
As he squeezed harder, I tried to take a breath but couldn’t. I pried at his arm, but my energy waned as my airways were restricted.
Time slipped away, and the belief that Torin would never harm me evaporated like smoke through an open window.
I had to save myself somehow.
Instead of prying his fingers off my neck, I reached out and touched his cheek. Instead of yelling his name, I whispered with my last breath, “Mate,” and cradled his face with both hands.
I prayed he experienced the same tingling sensations and sparks infusing my skin that I usually did from his touch.
My vision blurred, dizziness consuming me as the world spun around me.
Torin’s nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply, taking in my scent. His body stilled for a moment, and then he released my throat and pulled me against him. It was an awkward position for me—me sitting on his thighs, legs wrapped tightly around his waist.
I wheezed a big, much-needed gulp of air while he held me in his arms. My body slid backward, but Torin’s strong arm supported my back and held me against his hard chest.
My breathing started normalizing, but I wasn’t out of danger as I was face-to-face with Torin, who started shifting into his vampire.
The pulsating blue vein on his neck throbbed as his entire face and ears changed. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew they burned crimson.
It became clear that though my touch had calmed his night terror, it had ignited his vampire desire for me.
His fangs protruded, and I swallowed hard.
Torin’s free hand slipped underneath the fabric of my shirt and cupped my breast with a gentle massage before flicking my nipple.
His fangs scraped over the skin of my neck.
A delicious shudder shot through my body.
Taking a deep breath, I focused on Torin.
His fight in his nightmare was over, but his body remained lost in slumber. His mind could have taken him to his dream realm.
“Torin, snap out of it,” I shouted.
If he bit me, he might not have enough reason to stop himself in time. The uncontrollable, primal desire could overpower any semblance of self-control. Worse, if Torin sank his fangs into me, upon waking, he would be crushed by regret and never forgive himself.
And that would ultimately shatter him completely.
After his attack, Torin would never want to bite me to leave his mate mark on my flesh. That was if I stayed alive.
As I teetered on the edge of life and death, there was only one thing I could try.