Chapter 10 #2
“Over the years, when you saw me fight many vampires at the same time and prevailed, I could only do so because you were next to me. By the time you turned twenty-two, I was so deeply in love with you that I could barely hold myself back.”
I lost my voice to respond and kept staring at my mate, feeling the snappy rubber band around my heart loosening with every word.
“When you let me touch you where no other man had, the virginal blood between us strengthened our connection, amplifying my feelings, and I cracked under the pressure. Watching you sleep in my arms, I wanted to mark you and make you mine so much that my body ached.”
The regret and sorrow in his eyes did something to my heart, and the organ skipped a beat, startling me.
Hayden scooted toward me, and as our arms touched, his body heat seeped into mine, soothing me.
“While you slept, I only needed to digest several drops of your blood, and I deposited mine in your mouth. It formed a partial bond, although I wanted much more back then and even more now. I also did it because I thought you would develop stronger romantic feelings for me. I know I have your loyalty, friendship, and trust, but it wasn’t enough for me. ”
I inhaled sharply, remembering the slightly uncomfortable feeling on my neck when I woke up that day. My bodyguard must have bitten me just enough to draw my blood.
Hayden’s gaze lowered to the spot at the crook of my neck, and his eyes radiated pain.
“I’m so sorry, Breanna. I knew it wasn’t right.
Once my instincts took over, I could barely stop myself before I marked you back then.
” He swallowed hard. “The feeling of being inside you stirred my mating instinct, and I barely controlled myself. Do you think…you’ll be able to understand me one day? ”
His words sounded like a plea, reminding me of the moment when I bit Torin in the heat of the moment. The werewolf instinct of an animal took over me when I wanted to mark Torin, even with my dull human teeth.
“I understand what you went through. But mates talk before they bond with each other, Hayden. This was a big step you didn’t ask me about… You should have talked to me.”
“I wanted to tell you, but then more…obstacles sprang up in my way.”
I frowned. “It’s a huge betrayal of my trust.”
He gave me his charming smile, but it felt wrong. I couldn’t forgive him so easily.
Hayden looked down at the dark color of the golden jewelry. My bracelet flickered with dark magic, and he cringed.
He reached toward my face and brushed a loose strand behind my ear.
“I’ll stand by your side, as I always have, sweetheart. I’ll protect you from the encroaching darkness and help you heal,” he whispered.
He tried to soothe me with his touch and his words, and my body responded, relaxing against his side. But my mind… My mind reminded me that the vampire Queen had turned Torin without his consent, just like Hayden had forged a partial mate bond without asking me.
Hayden looked down at my hands again. The bracelet’s dark light faded.
“Take deep breaths, Breanna,” he said softly.
I drew in a breath with his scent and exhaled. The dark shade of the gold receded.
My mate awarded me with a satisfied grin. He stood and extended his arm to me.
“Come on. Dance with me,” he ordered.
I stared at him, studying his expression. Even after he created a mate bond between us, I still chose Torin. And yet, Hayden still stood before me, smiling. I didn’t rely on him, but instead of pushing me away, he reached for my hand.
But what he’d done to me was unacceptable.
Sighing, I placed my hand in his, and he pulled me up to my feet.
We swayed our bodies to music barely audible over the chatter and laughing from the manor.
But we didn’t need music. We created our own rhythm, each seeking the warmth of our mate.
The depth of Hayden’s feelings went beyond the magnetic pull of the mate bond.
I lifted my gaze to tell him I still felt the same as when I talked to him on the phone, but what I saw in his eyes made my body shudder. There was so much love and passion that I couldn’t move. We halted, and Hayden grasped the sides of my head.
“I know you’re breaking on the inside, sweetheart. Let me go through it with you.”
My tears welled, and I couldn’t help but bury my head in his hard chest and let myself cry. He held me tight, and I let him because I needed the pain to go away. Would I ever be able to move on from Torin and fully commit to Hayden?
Once my tears dried out, Hayden kissed the top of my head, taking a step back to look at me.
“We can start training with your bracelet. But if you don’t like the idea of killing Cordelia, please let me mark you so I mate fully with you, sweetheart.
” He paused and then added, “You’ll make me the luckiest man alive.
But although I really want us to be mated, I’ll be next to you either way, no matter what you choose to do, and I won’t abandon you. ”
My heart thudded in my chest. The invisible force drew me in hard to Hayden, and I needed him to touch me and take all my hurt away. I wanted to cave and let him have his way with me. But it also felt so wrong.
My mouth felt so dry. “I would like to start the training tomorrow.”
Something flashed behind his eyes, but his smile didn’t waver.
He nodded. “Very well.”
Later, Hayden walked me to my bedroom. He didn’t ask me to come inside even as one of his silly jokes, and he didn’t invite me to his. He gave me space as he usually did.
I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling, and couldn’t quiet my mind.
Who was I becoming? Did it matter? Did I even want to fight this darkness that was emerging? Or should I just let it consume me and yield to it?
As I lifted my hand, I gazed at the bracelet, and my hand trembled. Fear grasped me tighter. I could be mad at Hayden for his actions, but I didn’t want to harm him. It would be easy to cave into the pull of the bond and let him have every part of me.
And because I cared about him, I couldn’t let him get hurt tomorrow when the dark magic got out of control. I knew it would overtake my witch weapon.
I squeezed my hand into a fist. Deep down, I knew that the darkness was unlocked, and it wouldn’t disappear.