Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
Back in the royal manor, Hayden updated the Alphas and the King about what had transpired with Cordelia, minus the information about my biological mom’s imprisonment in the fairy realm. I kept that revelation to myself until the war against the vampire Queen was done.
If I were to die fighting Victoria, I didn’t want Dad, stricken by grief, to do something that would hurt Mom, like enter the fairy realm to free his fated mate. I promised to try to break Willa from magic prison for as long as I was alive.
But the chances of staying alive were not tipped in my favor, seeing that I lacked a wolf spirit.
It’d been a week since I returned from Cordelia’s dream realm empty-handed. We estimated we had about a week before Victoria strolled here, looking for me.
The preparations for the upcoming celebrations overwhelmed me, hence why I was lying on my side in the fetal position, having locked myself away in my bedroom. I didn’t feel festive or ready for the rituals.
Tonight was the marking ceremony, and tomorrow, Hayden and I would ascend the throne as the next werewolf King and Queen.
The kingdom buzzed about the approaching celebrations, but mostly, the kingdom was excited about a new era in which the vicious vampire Queen was eliminated. Everyone’s heavy expectations weighed on my shoulders like boulders.
I spent my time with my calligraphy pens and a canvas. My bedroom used to be my sanctuary and safe space, but not anymore. Now it felt like a prison where I awaited my doomed life sentence.
I’d built my own prison, and the sacrifice was all worth it.
My stomach churned as I thought about being marked by the wrong mate for the rest of my life, while the vampire Queen tortured the man I loved.
Being mated to Hayden would only make me feel like a fraud because I didn’t love him as a mate, although I cared for him. But the Alphas wouldn’t let me be the werewolf Queen without my wolf. The Alphas had already completed the vote, even though my father was against it.
I turned to my other side and stared at the study desk underneath my window. The blank canvas sat there, unmarked and empty. Just like me.
My bedroom door clicked, and my body jolted. I turned on my back to see Hayden strolling inside. His action reminded me of how Torin loved to invade my room uninvited.
Strange. Hayden would never enter my private space uninvited. But he was no longer the same Hayden. He was more impatient, hungrier for me.
He scooped me from the bed and carried me downstairs to the kitchen without saying a word. There was no point in protesting when, in a few hours, I had to let him bite me on my neck. My traitorous body welcomed his warm touch.
He deposited me gently on a chair at the countertop and rolled up his sleeves to make me a meal.
“I’m not very hungry, but I can always eat a grilled cheese sandwich,” I said, smiling at Hayden.
I had to accept him. Finally.
He gave me a stern look like a parent reprimanding his kid.
“That’s children’s food.” He proceeded to chop and mix ingredients to make an elaborate meal while I watched his graceful movements in the kitchen with my lips pressed into a line.
As he walked between the countertop and the fridge, he would lean in and kiss my forehead or my cheek, but even his mate touch couldn’t chase away the numbness in my heart.
Once he put the meat, vegetables, and some special gravy sauce he’d prepared from scratch in the oven, he washed his hands and stood before me. The intensity of his captivating gaze made it difficult for me to look away.
His features were chiseled to perfection, his jawline strong, and his smile contagious. While I appreciated his good looks, I also knew Hayden was intelligent and tactful.
He would make a good King, and since the Alphas and our people respected him, it would be easier to make changes and rules with a united kingdom.
His thigh nudged my knees open, and he situated himself between my legs. Although my pulse sped up at the proximity of my mate, awakening our mate bond, it still felt wrong.
But he will be my mate for life after the marking tonight. I repeated this until I let out a heavy sigh.
He leaned in for a kiss on my lips, but intuitively, I turned my cheek to him.
“I’m sorry, Hayden. I’m not ready yet.”
He pulled back, and pain flashed behind his eyes. My body trembled. I hoped once I let go of Torin, I would commit to Hayden completely—just like Dad’s suggestion that I would learn to love Hayden. I didn’t want to hurt him.
Clearing his throat, he tilted his head to the side. “Are you anxious about the marking ritual?”
I nodded, relieved that he had misinterpreted my actions.
“Do you want to make it private? The kingdom can participate in the crowning ritual tomorrow, and we can keep the marking celebrations small.”
I nodded again, afraid that my voice would break and give me away.
“I will talk to the King to position warriors at the doors. They’ll turn away the people who want to attend. It’s okay if it’s just us in the marble hall today, sweetheart. Whatever makes you comfortable.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Sitting on a stool beside me, Hayden twisted my chair around to face him. He placed his hands on my knees and rested them there, making the sparks and electrical jolts travel to my core. My body recognized its mate, but my heart did not skip a beat.
“I cared about you from the first time I saw you in the forest, Breanna. As soon as I locked eyes with you, I felt my body come alive,” he said in a soft voice.
Hayden’s dark, intense gaze made a cold chill slice down my spine.
“You were my first, and I want you to be my last. Do you think you can do the same for me, sweetheart?”
I swallowed the sudden dryness in my throat. After freeing Torin, there would no longer be another mate for me to worry about. Once I was marked, it couldn’t be undone, and my bond to Torin would be severed.
“Yes, Hayden,” was all I said.
Hayden slid his hands up my thighs and left them close to my core as if he knew that my thoughts took me to my other mate. My pulse sped up.
“I stood on the sidelines for too long. Just waiting for you. The less you see your other mate, the less you think of him. Distance and time will heal your wound, and you can learn to love me as much as you love him.”
I had no idea how to respond to him. Hayden had grown more…pushy. Would he have been so insistent if Torin hadn’t made a move to get close to me? If Torin hadn’t come to visit me in London?
Hayden lifted his hand and brushed my cheek. “I will see you in the marble hall for the marking, sweetheart.”
He stood and left without glancing at me as if he were holding back some emotion he didn’t want me to see.
Resting my elbows on the cold countertop, I buried my head in my hands. Perhaps as I spent more time with Hayden, true love would blossom in my heart. Pushing away my instincts, I reminded myself of my duty to the kingdom, the people, and my parents.
As I sat alone, waiting for the meal to finish cooking, conflicting emotions consumed my mind. The aromas of spices wafted through the air, but my stomach churned. I ate the food Hayden had cooked, but my tongue couldn’t detect its flavor, and then I washed my plate.
But when it was time to go to the marble hall, my legs didn’t want to move.