Chapter 23
Kalfr was watching this. Seeing this. Seeing Raye kneeling over Gaelfr, split open on his thigh, worshipping his plump, flaccid cock.
“Should you like a turn, ástin mín?” Gaelfr asked Kalfr, his voice both rough and soft, his hand smoothing against Raye’s hair. “You can see I have not yet sated her, and she would gladly welcome this from you, I ken.”
The words kicked and swirled, splattered behind Raye’s eyes, and far, far too late, she wrenched backwards, away from Gaelfr, wiping at her wet mouth, and yanking down her skirts with frantic, trembling hands.
While Kalfr only stared at her, at her swollen sticky mouth, while pure, painful hatred blazed in his eyes.
“No,” he spat, through gritted teeth. “No. I only” — he dragged in a breath, buried both palms into his eyes — “I only wished to tell you that Svein is… asking for you. Both of you.”
There was palpable bitterness in his voice, but for a breath, it was drowned out by Raye’s sudden screeching terror. Svein. Where was Svein, how long had they been in here, how long had he been asking for them, what if he had heard this, or seen this, damn it, damn it —
“Our son is safe, woman,” came Gaelfr’s voice, as his hand circled around Raye’s wrist. “I can scent him down below, ach? Kalfr would not have come in, had he been nearby.”
Right. Raye jerked a nod, her arm spasming in his grip, her eyes still fixed to Kalfr’s face.
As if drawn there by a bond, a powerful link between them, and she shuddered at the strange awareness of it, the undeniable truth of it.
This need to be near, to touch, to drink, to mate.
To be at peace with our bondmate, and to be sure of his peace and pleasure, in return…
“Th-thank you for telling us, Kalfr,” she said, though her voice was hoarse — from burying Gaelfr’s cock down her throat, oh gods. “And if this was… disrespectful to you, I apologize. Truly.”
The glinting hatred in Kalfr’s eyes didn’t change, but Gaelfr scoffed as he shoved up to his feet, and yanked up his trousers. “Do not apologize to him over this, woman,” he said, with a clap to her shoulder. “You needed care, and he did not offer it. Thus, what else can he expect?”
His glance toward Kalfr was saucy, challenging, and maybe hungry, too. And without warning, he leaned forward, gripped Kalfr’s waist, and nipped at his scarred throat. “Join us, next time,” he murmured, into Kalfr’s neck. “You both need this, and I should like to see her full of you, ach?”
Raye’s face furiously heated, and her gaze met Kalfr’s again. But the hatred in his eyes faltered, just a little, and he wasn’t arguing this, was he? He wasn’t saying, No, I would never want that. There is naught you could ever, ever do…
Raye’s face burned even hotter, and her eyes dropped to where Gaelfr was now nibbling affectionately at Kalfr’s throat, and further down, his hand was…
touching. Palming at the front of Kalfr’s trousers.
At where there was a long, distinct, undeniable ridge, straining beneath Gaelfr’s hand, swelling fuller with every breath…
Raye stared for an instant too long, while something thudded deep in her belly. Had Kalfr… liked seeing that, between her and Gaelfr? Did he want that? Did he still want… her?
But then he growled, low and irritable, and shoved Gaelfr’s hand away. And when Raye’s eyes found his face again, he was glaring away from her, too, though his grey skin looked flushed, his nostrils flaring. As if… maybe this wasn’t over, for good. Maybe there was something she could do, after all…
And perhaps Gaelfr thought so too, because he didn’t seem at all daunted by Kalfr’s obvious rejection of his attentions. Instead, he smiled fondly toward Kalfr as he hooked his bulky arm around his neck, and drew him toward the door.
“Now, our son is waiting for us,” he said. “He is most perfect, is he not, ástin mín? Are you not the proudest father in the realm?”
His other hand reached back to catch Raye’s, tugging her along behind them, and she could see Kalfr’s almost imperceptible nod, the sag of his stiff shoulders beneath Gaelfr’s arm.
As if he truly did welcome this, or need this.
And Raye shouldn’t feel relieved by that, she wasn’t supposed to care, there is naught you could ever, ever do…
They found Svein already sitting up in Kalfr’s bed, dressed in his sleeping clothes, and clutching Mr. Snuggles to his chest. “Papa Kalfr said I could sleep here, while we stay,” he promptly informed them.
“And he’ll sleep right there” — he pointed his claw toward the room directly across the hall — “so I can see and scent him. And you can sleep in the room beside me, Mama, and Papa Gaelfr right there.”
He again pointed as he spoke, first toward the wall to the left, and then toward the room that was across the hall from it.
All four of them in a neat square, together, and though the thought thumped strangely in Raye’s chest, she nodded, and smiled at Svein’s proud, contented face.
Gods, he was so happy here. So safe. And no matter what, that made all this mess worth it. It did.
“Papa Kalfr helped me get ready for bed,” Svein blithely continued, with a shy smile toward him. “But Papa Gaelfr, you still need to braid my hair. And Mama, you need to sing to me.”
Right. Raye’s smile came a little easier now, and she accordingly sat beside Svein on the bed, while Gaelfr went to sit on the other side. But Kalfr still hesitated near the door, glancing back and forth between them, and after an instant’s stillness, Raye waved him over to join them.
“Perhaps Papa Kalfr could share something with you, too,” she told Svein, without thinking. “Maybe a prayer to the goddess?”
Too late, she winced, and darted Kalfr a regretful look.
She’d never forgotten how he used to pray every night, his eyes closed, his hand over his heart.
But maybe he didn’t do that anymore, or maybe he wouldn’t want to share it with Svein, especially — Raye winced again — if he truly believed the goddess he’d once worshipped now wished to bring him harm.
It is what I deserve. What the goddess would wish, after all my failings…
But Kalfr jerked a nod, and strode with stiff steps to sit beside Gaelfr on the bed. Where he watched in stilted silence while Gaelfr unravelled and combed Svein’s hair with his claws, and Raye sang him her usual lullaby.
She could feel Kalfr’s eyes on her as she sang, perhaps judging her — surely still hating her — but she forced herself to keep going, keep her eyes on Svein’s face. And once she’d finished singing, and Gaelfr had finished braiding, Kalfr took Svein’s hand, and gave him a fond, wavering smile.
“Mayhap I will speak the prayer I have prayed each night, ever since I first learnt of you,” he softly said, as he closed his eyes, and spread his other hand against his heart.
“Goddess of Bautul, I beg you to watch over my precious son. I beg you to shield him, to shelter him, to grow him hearty and hale. I beg you to grant him and his mother” — his voice slightly cracked — “only kindness, and care, and safety. And I pray that they shall sleep warm and sound together this night, beneath your watching eye.”
It caught in Raye’s chest, twisted with surprise, and longing, and more aching regret. Kalfr had truly prayed this, every single night? He’d prayed for Svein’s safety… and for her safety, too? For kindness toward her, and care? Even after she’d kept him away from Svein, all that time?
Her eyes were stinging again, the tightness spasming in her throat, while Svein sleepily smiled at Kalfr, the warmth and gratefulness shining in his eyes.
“That’s nice, Papa,” he said. “And the goddess listened, didn’t she, Mama?
She helped you keep us safe from all the bad men, all the time Papa was gone. ”
Raye swallowed down the lump in her throat, and managed a nod, and a smile between Svein and Kalfr that felt far too grateful. “I’m sure she did, love,” she whispered. “It was very kind of your father to be praying for us, all that time.”
She couldn’t read Kalfr’s sidelong glance toward her, but then he fixed his gaze back on Svein, and squeezed his hand. “It is a true honour to have you in my home this night, my son,” he said thickly. “I pray you will sleep well. And only call if you need me, ach?”
With that, he abruptly stood, and strode out of the room.
Leaving the rest of them silently blinking after him, but Raye pasted another smile to her mouth, and asked Svein if he needed the latrine again before bed.
Which he did, of course, and the three of them trooped together down the hall to the nearby latrine, and then came back and settled Svein into bed again.
And after one more round of hugs, Raye and Gaelfr finally said goodnight, and ducked out into the hallway.
The door to Kalfr’s appointed room was half-closed, with only darkness beyond it, and Raye forced her gaze away, toward the door beside Svein’s.
The room Svein had chosen for her. The room she should be going into, now, rather than hesitating here in the hallway, and glancing up at Gaelfr beside her.
He was holding the lamp they’d brought with them, and his eyes shifted, glimmered in the light, as he jerked his head toward his own appointed room. Saying, Come.
And Raye should have refused. Should have told him they’d already done far more than they should. But instead, she dropped her eyes and nodded, and padded after him into his room. Where she waited in silence as he closed the oaken door behind her, and clicked its latch into place.