Chapter 52 #2
That was truth too, it was everything Raye wanted in the entire world, in this moment.
And when they lifted her up together, and guided her back down upon them, it was even better, a delirious unthinkable euphoria.
They were using her to please them, to milk them both at once, shoving her brutally full again and again, while she writhed and begged for more.
And gods, the way Gaelfr kept watching, his half-lidded eyes now fixed to her lower belly, on where — Raye’s groans wrenched louder — she was bulging.
Her belly straining and stretching outwards as they both plunged inside, and hollowing as they drew out.
Because they were taking up that much space inside her, and about to take up more, and the sheer sensation was utterly overpowering now, crackling and fusing, flaring up closer and closer, until —
Raye bucked and quaked as it struck, as the world blared into light and ecstasy.
Her invaded body wrenching, milking them both with desperate fervour, and she could feel them both rising to meet it, the tension tightening, their rigid cocks jostling together deep inside.
Urging each other on, harder and deeper, until they both stuttered and spewed out, answering her call with fast, furious surges of their own screaming release.
Raye rode it together with them, her body uncontrollably seizing, drawing out everything they could give, everything they could make for her.
Until she felt impossibly, tenuously full, stretched to the brink — and only then did she notice that Kalfr and Gaelfr were both touching her waist, their hands spreading wide against — oh.
Where her belly was even fuller than before, rounding out beneath their fingers, and looking unlike Raye could remember seeing it in years.
As if she was already carrying that son, Gaelfr’s son, oh gods…
Gaelfr kept blinking as he stared at it, his eyes bright and strange, his big hand skittering against her skin. As if, again, he… wanted that. He wanted to have a son, with her. And for a sudden, hovering moment, Raye thought he was about to weep, and maybe she was, too.
But then his eyes slid sideways, away. And only then did Raye remember that they had an audience. An audience that had apparently been intently watching, witnessing their voreur shamelessly sharing his mate with his ástvinur. Seeking to make a son with her, together.
Perhaps it was still the lingering delirium, but in this moment, Raye couldn’t find a flicker of embarrassment or shame, not even with both their softening bodies still caught inside her.
Whatever this had been, they’d all wanted it, and Raye could almost feel the goddess’ blessing settling upon it, too.
As if it was another vow kept, another truth fulfilled in flesh and pleasure.
Another step toward trust, and toward hope.
She didn’t resist as Kalfr and Gaelfr both drew out of her, and began mopping her up. And as if by instinct, her hands dropped to her still-swollen waist, caressing reverently against it, while she spoke a silent prayer of thanks to the goddess.
“Drink, saeta,” Gaelfr muttered, nudging a waterskin to her lips, so she drank, and murmured her thanks as she smiled back toward him. To which he flushed and glanced away, and then cleared his throat, and nudged her upward. “Now come. You must rest.”
Right. The distant darkness again flickered through the warmth — was Gaelfr already regretting this?
Had he just been trying to pass Kalfr’s test too, to give whatever Kalfr wanted from him?
But she forcibly shoved the questions away, and allowed Kalfr to guide her shaky body to her feet.
She wanted to do this. She wanted to trust them.
She briefly caught Aulis’ eye on the way past — he was sprawled languidly on Olarr’s lap, looking sweaty and sated and supremely satisfied — and his wry, companionable grin toward her only settled her certainty deeper. She wanted to trust them. She would.
So once Kalfr and Gaelfr guided her to their dark bedroom, and drew her into the bed between them, she turned toward Kalfr, and spread her hand against his bare chest. She’d given him the power he’d wanted, offered him all he’d sought, and now she wanted to draw up her own power again, too.
Wanted to keep meeting him, trusting him.
“So if you really did want that, between me and Gael, from the start,” she murmured, into the silent darkness, “then why didn’t you just say so? Back when we first met?”
Kalfr’s body instantly tightened beneath Raye’s hand, his heartbeat thumping faster, but she kept drawing down that courage, that trust. “Was it really just my response, whenever you talked about Gael?” she continued. “My — my jealousy, and my fear?”
Kalfr’s breath drew in and out, and Raye was distinctly aware of the sudden stillness of Gaelfr’s body on her other side. Waiting, listening.
“Because I… I was jealous,” Raye made herself say, over the tightness in her throat.
“I was greedy, and stubborn, and afraid. And I was wrong to react the way I did, and keep Svein apart from you, for all that time. I was. But back before all that” — she swallowed, hauled in a breath — “I also trusted you, Kalfr. I wanted to believe the best of you, and make a family with you. And if you’d just properly explained, if you’d even just brought Gael to visit, I —”
Her voice choked, but she drew down another breath, and spoke a silent, pleading prayer for courage, for truth.
“I would have tried to understand,” she said thickly.
“I like to think I would have at least met him, and listened. And if I’d had a chance to get to know him, to learn how generous and devoted he is, to see how much you loved him — I think I would have loved him, too. ”
It came out shaky, quiet, and her eyes squeezed shut, because that was all true, wasn’t it? She could have loved Gaelfr, so easily. Gods, even after all this, all the doubts and tests and conditions Gaelfr had hurled upon her, she still — she still —
Behind her, Gaelfr’s body hadn’t yet moved, not even his breath, but Kalfr’s breaths were now heaving hard against her hand. And would he reply, would he try to trust her too, or maybe he would leap up, walk away…
“I… I know,” Kalfr finally replied, quiet in the dark. “I ought to have done this. From the start.”
Raye blinked, her hand stuttering against his chest. But she otherwise held herself still, waiting, while her own heartbeat skipped faster, her ears straining for his voice.
“Before I ever touched you,” Kalfr continued, with a sigh, “I ought to have told you of my bond with Gaelfr, and my fealty toward him. I ought to have made it clear to you that he would always be bound to me — and through me, he would always be bound to our sons, and thus to you.”
Raye’s thoughts skipped, while behind her, Gaelfr let out a harsh breath, and curled his arm tightly around her waist. Wanting to hear this, too.
“And you, Gael,” Kalfr said, on another heavy exhale. “I ought never to have gone to see Raye, without you — not the first time, nor any time after that. I ought to have given you a chance to meet each other, and learn each other, without my secrets and falsehoods tainting this between us.”
Raye’s heart raced faster, jolting erratically in her chest, because — was Kalfr really saying this? Did he really mean this? Was he trying to be honest with them, to trust them? Or was it still some kind of plot, some way to keep binding her and Gaelfr together?
She desperately wished she could see Kalfr’s face in the dark, but all she had was his rapid heartbeat beneath her fingers, the dragging inhale of his breath. “I was foolish, and greedy, and selfish,” he continued, quiet and hollow. “But most of all, I was… afraid.”
Afraid. That word struck too powerful through Raye’s thoughts, but she kept waiting, feeling that rapid thud of Kalfr’s heartbeat.
“I was so afraid of losing you both,” Kalfr whispered.
“Until then, Gael, you were always the only peace and pleasure I had ever known. You saved me, when I needed this most, and you kept me safe, all those summers. And I never once dreamt of seeking a woman without you, until…”
His voice hitched, and Raye’s fingers spasmed against his chest as her thoughts skipped and twisted.
What did Kalfr mean, Gaelfr had saved him, and kept him safe?
Did he mean the battles they’d fought together?
Or did this have something to do with what he’d told her about Gaelfr?
If not for him, I should have been killed a dozen times over. Or aught worse…
“But then I met you, Raye,” Kalfr continued, hoarse.
“And from the first day we met, you were as a dream from the goddess. With your warmth, your kindness, your fealty, your beauty, your hunger. Even this safe, snug home you had made, this lush garden you grew, these wondrous meals you cooked, this stunning art you spun to life upon your loom. It was as though I had been whirled away from all the war and grief and death, and dropped into a realm of warmth and pleasure and magic. Into — home.”
Oh. Raye could so easily see it, could draw up her memories of her early days with Kalfr, and the awe and wonder and peace she’d seen in his eyes.
How deeply he’d craved not only her, but perhaps everything she’d represented, too.
And — her thoughts flipped — was this part of why Kalfr had built his own byrgi?
Had he wanted to make his own home, too?
With the garden, the meals, the safety? Even her own tapestry, hanging there in the loft?