Chapter 8 The Man Magnet’s Osechi #3
My heart dropped. The picture of that woman in the wedding dress resurfaced in my head. I had to admit Shiori-chan’s statements made sense. But a bigger part of me wished that it was untrue, and I desperately searched my brain for a counterargument.
“But what if you’re group dating at a gokon? Unless you’re drop-dead gorgeous, you have to make an effort to be noticed.”
I noticed the bowl of Caesar salad on the table, one of the light dishes that Iori had prepared. I held the bowl out to Shiori-chan.
“Shiori-chan, are you that girl who dishes out the salad for everyone during a group date? The perfect, demure hostess, a trick to get the guys’ attention?”
Let’s see what she’s got. I handed her a stack of small plates and a pair of salad tongs. For a moment, the Man Magnet sat in silence, examining the salad. Then suddenly, as though she’d flicked a switch on, she started to speak.
“Wow, this looks so good! Would you all like some? God, I’m starving.”
With that, she began dishing out the salad in swift movements.
I could have sworn that at that moment, I felt a spring breeze sweep past, filling the air with cherry blossom petals.
I turned toward the window in spite of myself.
Obviously, what I saw outside the window was a black-and-white view of a typical night in December.
Just like that, Shiori-chan had captured my heart, drawing me right in.
In no time at all, she had finished distributing the plates of lettuce and croutons to all of us. She took a bite of her salad after saying, “Itadakimasu.”
Then, slightly tilting her head, she said, “Delicious, isn’t it?” and shot a big smile at Hozumi.
“Urgh…” Bending forward, Hozumi looked taken aback.
“Hey, you okay?” I said. “Did she get you? She got you, didn’t she?”
“I…I feel like I can’t breathe. She totally blew me away.”
I couldn’t blame him. I mean, the way she said, “Delicious, isn’t it?” was so incredibly effective, it could have brought a tear to my eye. Her Kansai dialect, spoken in a soft tone, was pleasant to the ears, but not in a calculating way.
Shiori-chan expelled a breath and returned the salad tongs to the bowl.
“How was that? Did you think I was cute?” she asked, returning to her previous self.
I had no words. Before I knew it, my hands were clapping. A strange, exhilarating sensation coursed through me, as if I had just finished watching a theater performance.
“I have to hand it to you, you were amazing. It didn’t seem like you were trying to score points, but you weren’t being inattentive either.”
Shiori-chan puffed her chest out with pride and reached for another can of beer.
“Master, let me pour that for you!” I seized the can and pulled the tab open. “So, specifically, how do you go from there to the relationship stage?”
We’d come this far already. I was now determined to find out just how it was that a true Man Magnet locked down a guy.
“Hmm…let me see.”
With her thumb, Shiori-chan discreetly removed the lipstick mark from her glass.
When it came to subtle movements like this, she was ever so elegant.
So she hadn’t completely abandoned her “femininity,” after all.
Why couldn’t I be more like her? Why was I only capable of jumping back and forth between the “glamorous girl who is a threat to other girls” and the “ungraceful girl with zero womanly traits”?
Why couldn’t I find the midpoint and just be the “friendly and easygoing but subtly elegant girl”?
“First, you have to become best friends with the man you like. You have to be someone he can talk to despite being the opposite sex. Build a relationship that makes him say, ‘I don’t really feel like going to that party tonight, but I’ll go if she’s going.
’ Basically, you have to get inside him emotionally. ” Shiori-chan spoke passionately.
Get. Inside. Emotionally. I grabbed a sticky note and frantically noted down her words.
“But in doing so, you must remember not to act completely unwomanly. You shouldn’t overdo it—flirting with physical touch, for example, is a strict no-no.
However, laughing coarsely with your mouth wide open, or having really hairy knuckles, should be avoided at all costs.
You shouldn’t exude femininity, but you shouldn’t abandon it either.
Keeping that balance is the tricky part. ”
On impulse, I put my knuckles out of sight. Crap. I haven’t taken care of them recently.
“If you’re going to do something to get his attention, make it subtle, like simply turning your body in his direction. You could also try moving in an elegant manner and speaking in a soft tone.”
“But wouldn’t guys find it a little weird if a female friend suddenly started acting all girlie around them?”
“It would feel weird if you’re forcing yourself to choose between super womanly or not at all. I’m talking about a slight touch of elegance and sophistication. Then it won’t be weird at all. You have to strike a balance.”
“But that’s the part I struggle with—I can’t stay at the midpoint. And it’s not like I’m beautiful.”
Gripping some dried squid with both her hands, Shiori-chan bit off a piece, making a snapping sound. “You seem to think that being beautiful is key, but I don’t think men pay that much attention to appearance.”
“Th-that can’t be. You’re joking…right?”
What is she talking about? Looks are so important to men. Everybody knows that.
“Actually, I think she has a point.”
The Woman Magnet, who’d been quietly listening to our conversation, interjected.
“Of course, men have certain ‘types.’ It’s not like a man is attracted to a woman solely for their personality.
But…how can I put it? A woman’s view is ten times clearer than that of a man’s when it comes to appearance.
If a woman’s vision is 20/20, a man’s vision would be 10/20. ”
“That’s exactly it!” Shiori-chan said.
What?
“In other words, although men do pay attention to looks, they don’t see things as clearly as women do,” Iori clearly stated.
“They…don’t?”
“It’s all a blur to them. That’s why a lot of guys don’t notice when women change their hair or their makeup. They don’t really get women’s clothes, either. All they see is that a woman is cute or beautiful in a really general way.” Iori smiled slyly. “Unless they have a discerning eye like I do.”
I can’t believe this.
“Hozumi, this isn’t true, is it? You notice the details, don’t you? I had my bangs trimmed differently this morning—you must have noticed that.”
I clutched at Hozumi. He was my only hope to prove them wrong.
“Err…now that you mention it, they do look a bit shorter?”
“I got straight bangs!”
Iori chimed in, “I noticed it, Momo-chan.”
“That’s because you have a ‘discerning eye,’ ” Shiori-chan said.
I had thought that I had gotten a pretty big makeover, but Hozumi hadn’t even noticed.
“Anyway, going back to my point,” Shiori-chan said, patting me on my cheeks to snap me out of my stunned state.
“Remember, they can’t ‘see’ very well, so as long as you look after the easy-to-spot areas like your hair and your skin, you’ll be fine.
Once you’ve made it into the ‘cute in general’ zone, you just have to make sure that he feels comfortable with you. ”
“I have a question.” Suddenly coming back to my senses, I raised my hand. “Once you’re in the friend zone, doesn’t it feel like you’ve been excluded from the girlfriend zone? These guys usually end up telling me that there’s a girl that he likes—they even ask me for advice on their love life.”
“And is that where you always give up? What a waste!”
I was taken aback by her unexpected reaction. I’d thought that she would be able to relate to that one.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I? I mean, the guy likes someone else.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. Based on my statistics, you have an eighty percent chance of getting that guy.” Shiori-chan gave her thigh a single slap.
“Surely that can’t be true.”
“It can.”
“It cannot.”
“It can! Listen to me, Momoko…” Shiori-chan squeezed my hand and looked straight at me with her light brown eyes.
“Asking someone out takes courage, right? People are scared of getting rejected. When guys ask you for advice on their love life, it’s because they want to see how you react.
In other words, when they say that they like someone, it’s basically the same as them saying, ‘I’m thinking about asking you out. How do you feel about me?’ ”
No. That can’t be.
I was so shocked, it was as if someone had hit me on the head with a huge hammer.
“The reason he loses interest in you is because the moment he tells you he likes someone, you become needlessly ungraceful, or you start self-sabotaging and act all differently. It’s not game over as soon as he talks to you about his love life. The game is still on.”
I almost forgot to breathe.
What did I do when a guy asked me for advice about his love life?
Easy. I encouraged him with all my heart, telling him how much I hoped that it worked out.
It was too painful to stay in love with him.
Feeling foolish for still wanting to be in the “girlfriend zone” despite being permanently stuck in the “friend zone,” I would start to wear Uniqlo instead of Snidel, and would drink beer instead of a cassis orange cocktail.
“Sh-Shiori-chan, I mean Master Shiori, what would you say to him in that situation?” I asked, summoning up the last bit of emotional strength left inside of me. Shiori-chan moved her eyes around inquisitively.
“I say, ‘I get that you like this girl…but don’t forget the one that’s right in front of you.’ Then I shoot him a bright smile.” Shiori-chan pointed to herself, wearing a look of pure contentment. “That normally does the trick.”
“Urgh…”
This time, she got me instead of Hozumi. I had to admit defeat.