Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
Ash
As soon as we landed, I pulled my phone out and messaged everyone while we waited for the car to fetch us from the landing strip.
Ash: HE DOES OWN A FUCKING LLAMA !!!!!!!
Ash: AND HE HAD HALF - NAKED PHOTOS OF MODELS ON HIS PHONE !!!!!
Frank: Top half or bottom half?
Melusi: Only a straight male asks that question.
Frank: Hahah.
Ash: Top half.
Frank: And?
Ash: Great boobs.
Yo: Perky?
Ash: Why are we asking so many boob questions? The point is, there were boobs, in a photo. A photo he had after a photo of his pet llama named Lucy.
Russ: How many women were in this half-naked photo?
Ash: Two.
Ash: OMG , does that mean what I think it means?
Charlie: Threesome.
Ash: He said that it was just topless tanning, you know, very European.
Yo: That is true. Europeans all have their boobs on display when the sun comes out.
Charlie: I’m still going with threesome. The guy has a llama, so one part of the rumor confirmed.
Frank:
Sarah: So hang on . . . are we now thinking all the other rumors are true then?
Charlie: We’re thinking there could be more truth in them than we initially thought.
Melusi: We are talking about ourselves in the collective first person!
Frank: Hahaha!
Frank: Just sitting back and watching this unfold.
Charlie: Crap, an influencer is being paid 30K to tweet about a lipstick brand, and she just tweeted about their competitor’s product. Idiot! I have to fix this, but I’m going to leave you with this . . .
Charlie: It’s going to be two parts.
Charlie: 1 the psychic said to go back to the source to break the curse.
Melusi:
Charlie: 2 and as it turns out, that source might actually be the best sex in the world.
Charlie: So in case curses and psychics are real, just do it. It could be a double curse break.
Charlie: BYE !
Frank: Actually, we do agree with that.
Yo: We do too.
Ash: No amount of you guys agreeing to anything will change the fact that I am not having sex with him. Besides, dating detox, remember?
Melusi: Have a cheat day. All diets allow for a cheat day.
Sarah: Exactly! You need a cheat day.
Ash: Guys, not happening. I need to go though. I do have actual real work to do.
A distant clap of thunder caught my attention as the car pulled up.
“A storm like this is very unusual for this time of year,” I heard someone say, and I turned to see the lodge manager standing in front of me.
“We do need rain, though,” the game ranger replied.
“Air-traffic control says it’s a potential category-three storm,” the pilot commented. “They said I might not be able to take off.”
“Very unusual. We have electric storms here every now and again, but not this bad, and not at this time of the year,” the manager reiterated. I was not going to be able to get much done in this light, so today seemed like a write-off.
“Sorry about this,” said Max.
“About what?” I asked.
“About the storm—you not being able to do the work you need to do right now.”
“You didn’t bring the bad weather,” I said to him, causing that little lopsided smile again. His facial hair was a little longer than it had been. I’d never really been into facial hair, but holy crap, he looked good with it. What did Melusi always say? “Beards are make-up for men.” And he refused to date a man with a squeaky-clean face.
“How long have you had that?” I pointed to his face.
“You like it?”
“Maybe,” I teased.
“On and off for about ten years now. I shave it off at least three times a year, though. Apparently, it’s good to let the skin breath, or so I’ve heard.”
“Huh.” I didn’t know if this was true, but it made sense. “It looks good,” I admitted, and immediately regretted it, because that lopsided smile grew.
“Careful, I wouldn’t dispense too many compliments.”
“And why’s that?” I asked.
“I might start getting the wrong idea.” His smile tilted even more and I could almost see that dimple through his hair.
“What. Wrong. Idea?” I emphasized the words.
“That you might actually like me,” he said.
I shook my head at him. “I wouldn’t take it that far.”
“So you do like me, then?”
“Put it this way, I don’t totally and utterly dislike you,” I teased.
He smiled the biggest smile I’d seen so far. “I’ll take that.” He started walking away, but walking backwards, hands in pockets, watching me as he went. He looked ridiculous.
“You’re going to trip.” I pointed at the ground behind him.
He turned round and started walking the correct way. “Your concern for my wellbeing is rather heartwarming, Ash.”
“For the record, the only reason I didn’t want you to trip was because then you would trip me too.”
“Don’t believe you.” He shot me a look over his shoulder as he climbed into the vehicle. The drive was short and when we got to the camp, I couldn’t quite believe my eyes.
“This is incredible,” I whispered in utter awe as I stared at the bedouin-style tents in front of us. All the sides were open, and the ground was covered in large Persian rugs. Furnishings from the early 1900s made you feel as if you were stepping back in time, the intrepid explorer setting out to explore unknown lands.
“Amazing, eh?” Max said next to me.
“You could say that again. This is one of the most unique places I’ve ever been to. And it’s going to require zero styling from the art department too.”
I walked through the massive tent, running my hands over the swathes of fabric that hung from the roof, billowing in the growing wind. I dropped down on one of the plush velvet couches and threw my head back to look up at the tented ceiling where giant crystal chandeliers hung. This place was an eclectic mix of things: African artifacts, opulent crystal and velvet, and then worn rugs that gave you the feel of an opium den somewhere.
“Can I show you to your rooms?” the ranger came over and asked.
“Sure.” I stood up and followed him out of the main tent. The wind had picked up even more and walking in it felt difficult. He led us down a wooden pathway with smaller freestanding tents off it.
“Dinner will be at seven in the main dining tent, just off the tent you were in. And if there’s anything you need, feel free to call us.” The ranger took my bags inside and then left me to step into my tent alone. The interior of the tent was just as spectacular as the main tent, the only difference was the size and the presence of a massive fourposter bed. I threw myself down on it and let out a very contented sigh. Max was right—I was exhausted. This job had taken it out of me and traveling always made me stressed and tired. I turned my head to the side and noted what was on the bedside table. The product that had caused all this stress. A bottle of African Dreams cream liqueur. The company launching it was putting a ridiculous amount of money behind the product. They were clearly very confident about it. I hadn’t even tried it, so I didn’t know whether it tasted good or not.
But that wasn’t my job. My job was to make it look like it tasted good. To make it look as if sipping it was like drinking a little slice of opulent African luxury. My job was to sell a dream of the product, which in turn would sell the product. The ad agency had come up with what I considered to be a rather generic, slightly cheesy ad, but I also knew that this kind of ad sold alcohol, so it was perfect for the brand. And I wasn’t going to complain: the budget was huge and I seldom got to work with such a large amount. In fact, thanks to African Dreams, I was basically living my African Dream right now on this comfortable bed.
I woke up to the sides of my tent flapping wildly in what felt like borderline gale force winds. I could see why the pilot had been told not to take off in this. I raced to the edge of the tent, and tried to wrangle the material down, but it was like wrestling with a giant anaconda, and the anaconda was definitely winning. A clap of thunder made me leap backwards and almost out of my skin.
“Let me help you,” the ranger said, coming out of nowhere. I stepped back to let him tie everything down.
“We’re going to drop the weather screens,” he said, and I watched as large heavy canvas sheets fell to the ground and were fastened tightly. But despite them, the inside of the tent felt alive. Everything rattled and moved. The sides billowed in and out in the wind. The ceiling shook, the chandelier swung wildly and bolts of lightning lit up the room like a strobe light in a club.
“Is it safe here?” I asked the ranger, not hiding my concern at all.
He nodded, but told me that dinner in the main tent had been cancelled and it would be brought to our rooms instead—they didn’t want guests walking around outside. That made me feel less safe than I had been feeling moments ago. I walked into the very middle of the room to the large center pole that held up the tent. I grabbed hold of it and then sat down on the floor, clutching it tightly.