Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
Max
I carried her to my tent while trying to fight back actual tears. I didn’t want her to see them, though. They would only make her panic even more. But for a moment there I’d imagined losing her. I’d imagined her dying in my arms and never getting to say, or do, the things that I was so desperate to say and do to her.
“Let’s get your ankle under some water.” I carried her over to the bath and sat her down on the lip. She still looked ashen. “Hold on to the basin tightly. I’m going to get you some Coke.” I rushed off and returned seconds later, helping her sip it. I pulled her slippers off and then angled her ankle so that the stream of water hit the bite perfectly. I watched the water run over the wound, taking a lot of blood with it and then held it in place like Bongani had said. I timed the five minutes, and just as I was turning off the water, he arrived with a first-aid bag.
“Antiseptic lotion, plasters, and antibiotics if you want to take them, just to be sure.”
I thanked him and he left. But not before mentioning that this was the reason why guests should never walk around without him, and making me swear that neither of us would do it again.
“How are you feeling?” I asked Ash, now rubbing her back in gentle circles.
“I don’t know,” she said, her eyes tearing up. “I thought I was going to . . .” The first tear escaped her eye and I quickly wiped it away. She didn’t have to say any more to me; I knew exactly what she was feeling. And I knew why.
“It’s okay. You’re alive and you’re okay. Just in shock. I’ll help you to the bed and we can put this cream on. You think you can walk?” I asked her, and she nodded.
But as soon as she stood up, the color started draining from her face again.
“Sorry, I still feel dizzy.”
“That’s okay.” I put an arm round her and led her to the bed. “I’ve got you. You’re going to be fine.” I was trying to reassure her as much as I was trying to reassure myself. In fact, every time I said it to her, I needed to hear it just as much as she did. I put her on the bed and gently dried her ankle. I dabbed the cream onto two distinct puncture wounds in her skin. I quickly covered it with a plaster before she could see it. When I was finished, I looked up to find her watching me.
“Thanks,” she said, perking up a little now after the Coke. “If it’s not thorns, it’s hordes of mosquitoes and storms and snake bites. Seriously, can anything else go wrong?”
“It has been a rather eventful trip. You forgot getting stuck in the mud and getting sick in a plane.”
“How could I forget that?” She gave me the smallest smile. “It would be great to get through the rest of the trip without feeling like I’m dying all the time, or without something catastrophic happening.” She tried to make light of it, but I knew this was not light to her at all.
“You okay now?” I asked, and wanted to take her hands in mine, or pull her into another hug.
“Much better, thanks. Are you okay?” she asked.
“Also much better. I got a fright there too.”
“Do you need some Coke and a plaster?” she asked.
“Probably.”
She patted the bed next to her. “Come here, then.”
She sat up as I lowered myself onto the bed. She unwrapped a plaster and looked at me. “Where does it hurt?”
My eyes locked on to hers and I felt myself melting again. “Here.” I touched my hand to my chest and then laid my palm over my heart. She looked down at my shirt questioningly and I pulled it over my head and dropped it to the ground.
“There,” I said.
Her eyes drifted over my chest and I could see a distinct flush of pink working its way up from her neck into her face.
“Here we go.” She stuck the plaster onto my skin and flattered it with her hands, fingers grazing my skin and making me feel quite euphoric. “How does that feel?”
“Better.” I put my hand over hers, holding it to my chest. We stayed like that for a while, her hand on my heart, my hand over hers, looking at each other. But before I got totally lost in this moment, I cleared my throat and stood up. Nothing was going to happen with us tonight. She was in shock. She was rattled. She was not thinking straight, and if something happened, would it be something she really wanted, or would it be a reaction to the moment and needing some kind of comfort? Despite the endless sexual build-up of the night, it had ended the second she’d been bitten by the snake.
“So, what were you doing outside anyway?” I asked, and she looked panicked again.
“Reception! For my phone. I got it on the path earlier and I thought I could get it again.”
“You needed reception at three in the morning? I hope you weren’t working that late.”
“What can I say? Bit of a workaholic.”
I looked around the room. “Where is your phone? I didn’t see one.”
“Oh, shit. I must have dropped it. I’ll go look for it tomorrow.” Her mouth was moving, words were coming out, but I did not believe a single one of them. What had she really been doing outside at three in the morning?
She started climbing off the bed. “I guess I better go back to my room now that I’m—”
“You can’t. Bongani gave us strict instructions not to walk around at night. So you’re kind of stuck here, with me.”
“In your room.”
“In my room,” I repeated. “But don’t worry. I’ll sleep on the chair.”
“It’s fine. You can sleep here.” She looked up at me and I was surprised to see her pull the covers back.
“You sure?”
“Yes,” she said softly. I walked over to the bed, kicked off my shoes and climbed in. I was amazed how it didn’t feel awkward or weird to be in bed with her. It felt right. In fact, I hadn’t felt this comfortable and relaxed in a bed in years. I settled in, sighing with relief as I did.
“Thank you,” she said, sounding sleepy now.
“It’s a pleasure.” I pulled the duvet up to my shoulders and although we were on opposite sides of the bed and were not even vaguely touching, I felt so close to her right now.
“This time I did need rescuing,” she said.
“You did, did you?” I rolled over and looked at her. “So does that finally make me your knight in shining armor?”
She rolled over and faced me. I propped my head up on my hand and looked at her with a smile.
“ Only in this instance.” She smiled back at me and every part of me wanted to close the gap between us.
“But what if I save your life again?” I teased.
“Technically, you didn’t save my life, because I was never actually dying.”
“But we didn’t know that at the time, so I don’t think your logic works.” We smiled at each other. Her smile felt as if it reached right inside me and physically tugged on my heart.
“You’re not going to save my life again, because there aren’t going to be any more situations to save me from. I mean, there can’t be. It’s too much, right?”
“Way too much,” I confirmed. I took stock of the situation. I couldn’t believe she was in my bed. She was very, very different from the last woman I’d had in my bed. In fact, this was different from all of them. I don’t think I’d ever had such a long conversation with anyone who’d been in my bed in thirteen years. Ash opened her mouth and let out a huge yawn, and because it was contagious, I found myself yawning too. “Night, Ash,” I said, and rolled over again.
“Night, Max.”
I closed my eyes and as I started to relax, I remembered something.
“ I want to have an orgasm and good sex at least once in my life .”
I sat up in bed and looked over at her.
“What?” she asked.
“Have you really never had good sex?”
“What?” Ash sat up straight and looked at me. “How did you . . . Oh God!” she moaned, dropping her face into her hands.
“Have you seriously, seriously not had an orgasm?”
“Oh God, nooooo.” Her moan was long and pained and she flopped back down on the bed, hands covering her face.
“Ash, you’re joking, right?” I moved closer and looked down at her. “You’ve never had an orgasm?”
“Oh God, please stop saying that.”
“This is crazy! I can’t believe it. You’ve never had an or—”
“I have.” She pulled her hands away from her face and glared at me. “Just not with . . . you know, a person who isn’t made of silicone. And now I would appreciate it if we never spoke about it again. Like that other thing that I never want to speak of with you again either. I’m going to sleep now! And so are you!” She flipped over defiantly and pulled the duvet back up almost over her entire head. I stared at her back in total shock. She had never had good sex. Never had an orgasm with someone. My cock went hard, because, fucking hell, did I then want to be the man to change all that for her. But then another thought hit me: I had to make this up to her.
And there was only one way, and one way alone, to do that.