21. Sujit
SUJIT
I was trying to get the fire going when Aarti came down wearing my sweats. She was only a few inches shorter than me, but her thin frame made the sweats look baggy and oversized in a way that tugged at my heart. She was wearing my clothes. My clothes.
The poker in my hand stilled as I checked her out with greed in my eyes.
It was only when she said, “Hey, looks like you took a shower too,” that I realized I stood shirtless before this goddess of a woman.
Clearing my throat, I placed the poker back in its spot and grabbed a T-shirt from the arm of the large leather recliner beside me.
“Are you hungry?” I asked to distract myself from the fiery attraction I was trying to fend off. “I can make some pasta if you want.”
“Nah, that’s too much trouble. What else do you have in the pantry?”
“Let’s check,” I said, and she followed me to the kitchen.
I had already watched her studying the artwork on the walls and the accent sculptures on the strategically placed pedestals. I wondered it she remembered it was Tara who had meticulously chosen each piece adorning this home.
When I had suggested driving here, it hadn’t occurred to me that the last time I was here with someone else was when I had thrown Tara a surprise birthday party.
We broke up that night. Yet, being here with Aarti didn’t seem to garner any of the bitter memories I had carried for months.
Au contraire , I felt happy. Blissful. Completely content.
I browsed the walk-in pantry as she peeked at the world outside through the windows.
“We have canned beans, grains, lentils, nut butters, and jellies of different kinds, a variety of crackers…” I listed, scanning the shelves. “Then, of course, there are my favorite ramen noodle cups.”
“Ramen sounds good. Let me make them,” she offered.
I gave her a smile as I grabbed two cups from the top shelf. “That’s alright, sweet girl. I’ve got this.”
“I don’t want to be a burden,” she argued.
“Yes, Aarti, you’re a terrible burden. I have to use the faucet to pour water into a kettle, then press the switch to the on-position, wait for it to come to a boil, pour it in a cup, then hand it over to you.
I wonder how you’re going to live with yourself after putting me through this kind of toil,” I teased.
“Alright, alright, smartass,” she said and climbed onto the bar stool at the island.
When the ramen cups were ready, we carried them to the living room to sit by the fire. The home was still heating up, but it was massive and was bound to take a while. I started on my noodles while Aarti pushed her fork around the cup, poking the desiccated vegetables into the soup.
“This was my go-to meal during college, big surprise,” I said.
“I always ate at the cafeteria. Never got into the habit of eating instant noodles.”
I nodded. “It shows.”
“How’s that?” She raised her brows in question.
“If you wait too long, the noodles are going to get all soggy and unpleasant.”
“But the vegetables are not plump yet.
“They won’t get plump, but they are rehydrated by now, trust me.”
She rolled the noodles on her fork and put it in her mouth like she was eating a gourmet dish at a Michelin-star restaurant.
“Slurp them. They are supposed to be soup noodles,” I said, demonstrating how to do it.
She tried, and the soup flew all over her face. I burst out laughing, and grabbing a tissue from a box nearby, brought it to her lips.
It started out innocuous. I only meant to wipe the liquid splattered on her face.
But the heat it turned up became palpable in a single beat.
My eyes stilled over her lips, the tissue halting at the corner of her mouth.
I heard her breath suspend as I studied the shape of her lips, the small beauty mark on her cheek that I had surprisingly never noticed before.
I grazed it with the gentlest touch and felt a shiver run over her body.
“This is so beautiful,” I whispered. “How come I’ve never seen it before?”
She didn’t respond but her breath turned erratic.
I wanted to lean in and kiss those lips that seemed to have been carved by Michelangelo.
After my unfortunate attempt at snow play that ended up with me straddling her, my loins burned with desire.
But her words echoed in my ears, I trust you, Sujit .
I wasn’t going to shatter that trust to pieces.
My eyes met hers, and I quickly dabbed her face and crumpled the tissue.
Sliding away from her, I resumed working on my noodles in silence.
“I hide it with concealer and foundation,” I heard her say and looked up. She pointed to her beauty mark. “Someone once commented on it, and I’ve been hiding it ever since.”
“You shouldn’t hide it. I think it’s beautiful,” I said with my eyes on my noodle cup.
When we were done, we chatted about work.
I asked her if she had settled in, if she liked living amid the bustle of the city, how she was coping with the cold and the snow, and if she had changed her mind about having my personal chef cook for her.
When an expected yawn escaped her tired body, I suggested heading to bed.
“But the fire is too enticing,” she groaned. “What if we camp out here instead? I’m too cozy to move anywhere else right now.”
I wasn’t about to deny her that. “Alright,” I said and got up to put away our cups.
“Let me do that,” she offered. “Why don’t you grab us some comforters?”
While she was in the kitchen, I spread a plush king-size duvet on the rug by the fire, placed two pillows on top, then set up two individual comforters to use as covers.
She returned with two glasses of water and offered me one. I drank like the thirsty man that I was. Drinking half from her glass, she placed it on the side table.
When she slipped under the comforter closer to the fire, I turned off the lights. Laying down next to her, I pulled the warm cover over me.
“This is a beautiful home,” she remarked.
“Thank you. I love it here. It’s like a little haven of quiet when I need a moment to myself.”
“And the choice of artwork is excellent!”
“Yes, Tara did a great job,” I said matter-of-factly.
“I’m sorry, Sujit. I didn’t mean to…I mean, I didn’t remember…”
“Sorry about what?” I turned to her with a gentle frown. “I don’t regret it at all.”
“None of it?” she asked in a tentative voice.
“None of it,” I confirmed with a heart that was at peace. “I love these paintings.”
There was a long pause before she asked, as I knew she would, “Don’t they remind you of her?”
I was ready with the response. “Not in the way the world thinks. After Tara, my family has been asking me to get rid of them and redo the place.”
“How do you think the world sees it?” she asked with curiosity.
“Like they bring me heartache and sorrow.”
She was on her side now, facing me, with an arm under her head. “And they don’t?”
“Not in the least. To tie Tara to these paintings is to do a big disservice to the talented artists who put their heart and soul into them. I might not understand art, but I do know that looking at these makes me happy. Isn’t that the purpose of bringing art into your life?”
“You are…” her voice trailed.
“A hopeless romantic?” I grinned. “I think someone has called me that before.”
“Allow me to amend that sentence. You are a hopeful romantic, and don’t you ever change.”
When Tara broke up with me, I had asked her to tell me something she hated about me. One thing that irked her. She had no answer because she only saw my virtues, not my limitations. If Aarti were to stay in my life, I wanted her to see me in my entirety, complete with my drawbacks.
“When Tara’s mother was here,” I began, “we kind of formed a friendship of our own. Tara was in Dallas, and I promised to look in on her mother, even though Tara hadn’t expected or demanded it.
When we broke up, Tara’s mother called me and told me how sorry she was, that it was perhaps her fault that Tara went back to Sameer. ”
Aarti’s eyes shone with curiosity. This was a side of the story she had never heard. No one else knew this.
“How so?” Aarti asked.
“Aai told me how free and happy Tara looked when she was with Sameer. With me, she seemed restrained, like she respected me, but something was amiss. When Tara came clean to her, Aai urged her to consider giving Sameer another chance.”
“She told you all this?”
“At least that’s what I gathered. Aai spoke in broken English, and I understand none of the three languages she speaks. She said she respected me too much to see me hurt and couldn’t leave the country without asking for my forgiveness.”
Aarti listened with rapt attention.
“I told Aai she never needed to apologize because she was my friend. And I still call her Aai. That’s mother in Marathi,” I said in a soft voice, trying to gauge Aarti’s reaction.
The problem was she gave me none. I don’t know what I had expected when I shared this with her, but she merely blinked as she listened.
“We check up on each other on WhatsApp, and she told me she’s taking English lessons back home, so the next time she’s here, we can have a proper conversation.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Aarti finally asked.
I pulled in a soft breath. “You said you trusted me, and I want you to know everything about me. This is who I am. This is how I think and feel.”
She lay completely motionless for several moments before she asked, “Can I give you a hug?”
“Do you feel sorry for me?” I asked with some offense.
“No,” she responded with a smile. “I feel incredibly proud to know you.”
That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. “And you are not upset?”
“Why would that upset me?”
“I feel like we’ve become close confidants, and I don’t want you to feel like I’ve been betraying your trust by hiding my friendship with Tara’s mother and her friend.”
She let out a giggle, the one that I cherished. “You are silly, you know? There aren’t many men I know who have such a healthy view of relationships. I am grateful to know you, to have your trust, and to know that I can trust you.”
A sense of peace enveloped me. “In that case, come here.” I opened my arms, and she slipped into them. When I placed a kiss on her forehead, she snuggled in closer.
“Why does this feel so comfortable, Sujit?” She now lay with her head on my arm. She had slipped out of her comforter and under mine. I readjusted to accommodate her in it.
“Maybe because we can just be ourselves with each other. We don’t need masks or excuses.
” I sighed. “Relationships are peculiar. Look how close we have come in this short time. But I can’t explain it to my family, just as I can’t explain my friendship with Tara’s mother or her friend, Sona, who is still a good friend.
Like your brother, I’m sure my family will throw all kinds of advice and words of caution at me. ”
And this was the moment I wanted her to dispel all fears and tell me that she didn’t care about the world or what my family thought of our relationship. Perhaps even admit that she liked me enough to fight against the world.
She didn’t, but it didn’t crush me. Being with her, having her in my arms, however briefly, felt like a privilege. An undeserving mortal like me shouldn’t expect a goddess to stay in my arms forever, but I was elated that at least I had her in my life for now.
I placed another kiss on her forehead and released a satisfied sigh. “You know, I’ve not felt this relaxed in a long time. I might not have my day at the beach anytime soon, but a snowy day in feels just as good,” I said with a chuckle against her ear.