Chapter Thirty-Four
Arianna
Alec stationed guards near the door despite Sive’s assurances.
All were armed and equipped with runes to alert the High Lords should anything go amiss.
Sive and Ellie were transferred to the infirmary.
Arianna had ensured her sister was tucked in safely before wandering down the corridor, seeking …
well, she didn’t really know what she was seeking at this point.
They’d lost everything.
Saoirse had left to speak to Eimear, but from what Arianna had gathered, the information was dismal at best. Eimear had been so sure they’d find something in the library, and now their hopes were buried beneath tons of stone.
If Vairik chose to attack now, it would be the end.
There were Dark Fae under them and more just on the other side of the mountain pass.
Another horde was likely fighting through Eimear’s forest. That put enemy forces on three sides, and it didn’t even account for the renegade groups making their way through the smaller villages.
She didn’t need to be a brilliant strategist to understand their chances of survival were fading by the day.
And there was absolutely nothing anyone could do about it.
Her body shook from exhaustion, but Arianna couldn’t bring herself to stay in her room. She’d showered and changed, then wandered the dark halls, taking in the scenery. She might never get to lay eyes on something so beautiful ever again.
Defeat settled over her. They were going to lose.
Vairik would get what he wanted and either continue to rule the monster-riddled land, or move on and start over somewhere new.
His cycle of revenge would finally come to an end.
Arianna wondered how he’d feel once it was all over.
Would he find the victory bittersweet? She shook her head.
He probably wasn’t even capable of emotion anymore.
Arianna rounded a familiar corner and caught a faint trace of Talon’s scent.
Curious, she followed it to one of the rooms that connected to an open balcony.
The palace was riddled with them. She stepped inside, glad to find it empty.
Solitude was exactly what she needed right now.
The guards, thankfully, didn’t accompany her inside.
A plush sage loveseat with a light brown blanket draped over the arm beckoned her forward.
She could probably lie there and sleep for days.
Maybe she’d just accept their fate and wait for Vairik to come and end her himself.
If only he’d allow it to be so painless.
No, a male like him would make her suffer just for his own twisted enjoyment.
A solid wooden table stood before the loveseat, with an armchair directly across from it that was the source of Talon’s scent. She wondered how often he’d come here. How often had her friend sat with thoughts just as dismal as her own?
Arianna scanned the vines, the flowers, the decorations, then gave them little mind as her gaze settled on a table in the back.
She prowled forward, studying the various shades of amber liquid in the assorted bottles.
Arianna already knew they’d taste terrible, but what had Talon told her once? That one didn’t drink for the taste?
She could use a little numbness right now.
Arianna reached for an empty glass, pulled off the stopper on a random bottle, and filled her cup to the brim.
She studied it, then downed the whole thing in one gulp the way she’d seen so many others do.
Arianna doubled over the table, coughing from the burn searing her throat.
Her stomach knotted, threatening to send the foul liquid right back up, but she gritted her teeth, fighting it back.
Disgusting, but warmth was already spreading through her stomach and chest.
“Did you just drink an entire glass of that stuff?”
She turned to find Talon in the doorway, the top of his shirt undone and hair wet, as if he’d just emerged from a shower.
“Maybe.” She poured another.
Talon entered the room, stepping beside her to grab one for himself. “You’re going to be feeling that in about five minutes.” Probably faster, considering she hadn’t eaten.
Arianna shrugged. “Good.” Maybe it would drown out their grim reality.
Talon pulled a few cubes of ice from the air and dropped them into her drink. “That’ll make it better.”
She half-smiled, then moved toward the loveseat. Arianna curled her legs into the cushions before draping the blanket over them.
“You probably won’t need that in a few minutes, either.”
Arianna shrugged. “It feels nice for now.”
Talon downed his own glass before refilling it and settling into the chair across from her.
“How often are you in here?” Arianna asked.
“Nearly every night.”
“Do you drink every night?”
“Mostly.”
“Gods above, you’re an alcoholic.”
Talon smirked. “Hardly. If an alcoholic were in this room, those bottles would already be gone.”
Arianna took stock of the containers. Only one was nearly empty. She took another sip. He was right. The ice helped. “I assume that one was your doing?”
He shrugged. “Mine. Raevina’s. Rion’s.” Talon looked up briefly, likely to gauge her reaction to the male’s name. Arianna only hummed and took another sip of her drink. “Something happened down there. The guards say you two disappeared.”
She tilted her head. “Does it matter?”
“It might.” He waited, but when she didn’t explain further, Talon continued. “You’ve seemed better with him.”
“Apparently the anger wasn’t even mine.” She gritted her teeth. “It seems half of what I feel doesn’t belong to me.”
“You’re still you,” he stated quickly.
“Am I?” Arianna swirled her drink, watching the cubes clink against the edges of the glass. “I don’t feel like myself.”
“What do you feel like?”
“Like a piece of fabric that’s been stretched too tight. Like I’m unraveling at the seams one thread at a time. Like I’m not … whole.”
“Your decisions are still your own. You protected your sister. You fought to defend your people. You ventured into unknown danger in search of answers. Seems like the same Arianna I’ve always known.”
“Yeah.” She took another drink. It already tasted better. Her vision blurred at the edges. She couldn’t remember when her shoulders had relaxed. Arianna let one foot poke out from beneath the blanket. “What happened to us?”
Talon paused with the glass halfway to his lips. She looked up, meeting his surprised gaze. Talon looked off to the side and cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. “You fell in love.”
She tilted her head. “So you didn’t even try? Rion and I were separated for a while, right?”
Talon’s jaw clenched. “My efforts wouldn’t have mattered. Rion only left because of me. I convinced him you’d have a safer life without his reputation following you.” He took another drink, still refusing to meet her gaze. “You were a ghost with him gone. You barely left your room.”
“I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with being in chains for months on end.”
“That was part of it, but the sadness,” Talon shook his head. “It went deeper. Cut sharper. You didn’t realize it was the mating bond at the time, but being separated from him has crippled you more than once.”
“Maybe Vairik’s right,” she whispered. “Maybe the bond is just an invisible set of shackles.”
He paused. “Maybe.”
“What about you? Are you happy with the one you’re bonded to?”
Talon swirled his drink. “I don’t know yet.”
Arianna could sense brutal honesty in his words. “You aren’t obligated, you know. You deserve to be happy.”
Talon scoffed. “You say I’m not obligated as if I’m capable of simply ignoring her.”
“It’ll be easier once she leaves.”
Talon straightened slightly. “Leaves?”
“After the war, should any of us survive it, she’ll go back to Fiadh. Distance is supposed to help—”
“It didn’t help you, and it certainly won’t help me.”
Silence settled between them. Arianna played with her hands. “You know, we might all die. It would probably be best to go without any regrets.”
“Now if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black I don’t know what is.”
She laughed to herself, downed the rest of her glass, then stood. “You know what, you’re right.”
“Where are you going?”
She gave him a warm smile. “To ensure those regrets don’t haunt me.”