Chapter 36
Sutton
“Good morning, Marcus.”
The beefy bodyguard who had been in residence in front of my building for more than three weeks now nodded. “Morning, Ms. Holland.”
“It’s Sutton. And you’re fired.”
The corner of his lip quirked. “You have a good day, Ms. Holland.”
I’d fired Marcus the first time on my way home the day I’d been kicked to the curb by Jagger. Now it had become part of my daily routine—that and the daily text I shot off to Jagger immediately after.
Sutton: Call off your dogs. I don’t want your bodyguards following me anymore.
I watched as it went from Sent to Delivered and then to Read. As usual, he didn’t respond. The entire routine was sort of comical at this point, and maybe a little sad.
I shoved my cell into my pocket and headed to the subway.
I didn’t have to turn around to know Marcus had joined me for the walk.
Usually he stayed almost a full block behind me.
Sometimes I walked fast and tried to lose him, but then I’d inevitably see him getting out of the subway car next to mine.
I did my regular routine once I got to the office, making a coffee and going to listen to the daily briefing.
To my surprise, today Jagger was already in the conference room when I arrived.
He was in the middle of a conversation with Will Twible, the director of the algorithm-engineering division, but his eyes latched onto me as I entered.
I looked away, not giving him the satisfaction of thinking I was still pining over him, even if I was, and I was thrilled to see Jack standing on the other side of the room.
Normally I kept my distance from him when I could, because I knew his interest was more than as a friend or coworker, and I didn’t want to lead him on.
But today I approached with an overfriendly smile and made sure to touch his arm more than once as we chatted and waited for the meeting to start.
When I chanced a glance back over at the boss, Jagger’s eyes were searing into me.
Good. Serves you right.
The meeting began, and the boss shared the news that Apex had reached an agreement with the DOJ.
Everyone clapped and cheered, including me.
Even if I wanted Jagger to suffer on a personal level, I admired everything he’d built and how hard he’d worked.
While he spoke, I couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t look so good.
His normally tanned skin was sallow, and dark circles rimmed his eyes.
He was probably just exhausted from the chaos at the office and at home, but it hurt to see him looking that way.
After Jagger finished, a few more executives gave updates, and then the daily fifteen-minute briefing broke up.
“Are you going to happy hour tonight?” Jack asked as we shuffled with the crowd toward the door.
I wasn’t feeling very happy, and a heavy heart didn’t mix well with alcohol, yet I shrugged. “I’m not sure.”
“Sutton?” A voice called. I turned to find Will waving me over. “Could you hang back a minute?”
“Uh-oh,” Jack teased. “Are you getting in trouble with the teacher?”
“I hope not.”
The room continued to empty out, and I waited as Will made his way over. Unfortunately, Jagger was by his side. Once they got to me, Jack waved goodbye. “I hope you come tonight.”
Without turning, I felt Jagger’s eyes burning into me and forced a smile at Jack. “Actually, I think I might.”
“Excellent.” Seeming completely oblivious to the scowl on the boss’s face, Jack waved to him too. “Congrats on working things out with the DOJ, boss. Have a good day.”
Not surprisingly, Jagger didn’t reciprocate the well wishes.
Up close, he looked even worse than he had from a distance.
His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, like he’d been drinking, and I was pretty sure he’d lost weight.
Though even at his worst, he was still a ridiculously attractive man, and my body felt a physical pull toward him.
Once the last person left the room, Will smiled. “I have some good news for you.”
“Oh?”
“Apex has selected you for their executive training program. Congratulations.”
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
Will shoved his hands into his pockets and laughed.
“Don’t look so surprised. You’ve impressed my entire team.
You’ve taken the lead on projects. You’re confident in your abilities without being arrogant, and you’re adaptable and goal oriented.
Not to mention...” He thumbed toward the man standing next to him and smirked.
“You can kick this guy’s ass in solving complex equations. ”
I looked at Jagger. We both knew that last part wasn’t true. But like any other time he’d been near me in the last few weeks, he averted his eyes.
“I…I don’t know what to say.”
Will’s smile widened. “Well, I’m hoping you’ll say yes.”
My head was spinning. I hadn’t given the executive training program much thought since I started. And it was certainly the last thing on my mind lately.
“When do I need to let you know?”
“The deadline is the fifteenth, so only about a week.”
I didn’t want to come off as ungrateful, so I forced a smile. “Thank you so much for selecting me. I guess I’m just a little shocked.”
“You shouldn’t be. It’s well deserved.” Will patted my shoulder. “I have to run to another meeting, but congratulations. HR will be reaching out to discuss the details of the program and salary with you soon.”
Jagger’s eyes flickered to me. “Congratulations.”
The two of them walked out, and I stayed in the conference room a few more minutes.
The Apex executive training program was one of the most coveted positions in corporate America, but it meant staying in New York and being around Jagger all the time.
I wasn’t sure that would allow the gaping hole in my heart to ever heal.
***
Four days later, my desk phone rang, and a flash of hope surged before my brain could catch up and remind my body that Jagger didn’t call me anymore. The realization left me feeling hollow as I answered.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Sutton. It’s Linda, Edmund’s assistant.”
I sat back in my chair. “Oh, hi, Linda.”
“Edmund is stuck on a conference call, but he didn’t want to miss you before you left for the day.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes, everything is fine. He just wants to speak to you. Would you be able to come up when you’re on your way out tonight?”
“Sure.”
“Great. He should be off his call soon, so pop in whenever you’re ready.”
I’d avoided my mother and Edmund as much as possible over the last two weeks.
Eventually, I was going to have to tell them Jagger and I had broken up, but I hadn’t felt up to that conversation yet.
I had no idea what my stepfather wanted, though I couldn’t avoid him when he’d specifically asked to see me.
At six, I finished the project I’d been working on and took the elevator up to the executive offices.
The receptionist was already gone for the day, so I used my keycard to swipe in.
As always, I reached the point where my choice was to go right and not pass Jagger’s office, or go left and torture myself.
My day had been fairly decent so, of course, I decided to self-sabotage.
I regretted my choice as I neared the corner office and saw that the lights were still on.
But it was too late now. The best I could do was hold my head high and attempt to walk past his wall of windows without looking in.
But even without turning my head, I saw through my peripheral vision that he wasn’t alone.
Marcus, the bodyguard I’d fired a dozen times, was inside, and the two of them were arguing.
I couldn’t help myself, I turned to watch their interaction as I kept walking.
Marcus handed something red to Jagger. “That’s not a good idea, sir,” he said. “You should leave this to the professionals.”
Jagger’s voice grew louder. “Don’t tell me what to do. I’ll take care of it myself.” His gaze suddenly lifted over Marcus’s shoulder and met with mine. He held it as he walked to his office door and slammed it shut.
Oh-kay then. Asshole.
My legs kept moving even though it felt like my heart stayed behind. I was busy trying to swallow the lump forming in my throat when Edmund stepped out of his office. He saw me and smiled. “Hey, sweetheart. I was just going to run to the men’s room. Do you mind waiting a minute?”
“No problem. Take your time.”
“Great.” He gestured to his office. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
I was glad for the short reprieve because I needed a moment to collect myself after the brief encounter with Jagger.
I didn’t understand the man at all. One minute he looked sad and broken, and the next he was hard and angry.
Though seeing Marcus reminded me that Jagger and I needed to have an in-person conversation about ending my bodyguard service.
Things had been uneventful since the birthday card was delivered, and it was time my life went back to the way it had been a few weeks ago.
Edmund returned from the restroom and took a seat behind his desk. “I wanted to talk to you about the executive training program.”
“Okay…”
“Jagger filled me in on your personal situation with him, and I wanted to make sure you don’t let it get in the way of making the right business decision. The program is a phenomenal opportunity.”
“He…filled you in on our…situation?”
Edmund held two hands up. “I didn’t ask. I don’t want you to think I was prying.”
“What exactly did he tell you?”
“Not too much. Just that you ended things.”
“That I—”
“You should know, I didn’t mention anything to your mother. I figured you’ll tell her when you’re ready. It’s not my place to interfere in your personal life with her or your boyfriends. But I would like to give you some business advice, if you don’t mind listening.”