Chapter 38 #2
“I woke up to gunshots. Insurgents had captured three of our men, including John. When I came running, they caught me. And they made me watch them execute each one of them.” Jagger closed his eyes and continued.
“They put the barrel of the gun in each of their mouths and pulled the trigger like they weren’t even human. ”
“Oh, God.” Tears streamed down my face. Just like he was going to do to Silas.
“I almost became the same thing they were.”
“But you didn’t do it, Jagger. You didn’t.”
“I’m fucked up, Sutton. You’re better off without me. Yet here I am again.”
I squeezed his hand. “I’m not better off without you. Just the opposite. I’m better because of you.”
***
Hours later, we were in the bedroom lying down.
We’d spent the entire day talking. Jagger had told me a dozen stories about John Nelson, and I’d opened up about how closed off I’d become to everyone except Miles after what happened to me in college.
It was like once we weren’t afraid to be honest with each other, we couldn’t stop sharing truths.
We’d both been up for more than twenty-four hours, and I knew when Jagger looked at the time on his phone that he needed to go home to his nieces soon. He brushed a lock of hair from my face. “Move in with me.”
“Isn’t this how we got ourselves into this mess to begin with? You asked me to stay with you, and you pushed me away when I wouldn’t.”
“I asked you to stay with me because I wanted to protect you. But now I’m asking for the right reasons. I’m asking because I realize my day is better when I wake up next to you.”
My heart melted. “That’s really sweet. And I’d like to move in with you. Soon. Just not right away.”
Jagger frowned. “Why not?”
“Because I’ve spent the last eight years being afraid, and I’m just starting to feel independent.
When I walked home today, even just from the subway station, I felt different—freer knowing Silas can’t get to me anymore.
I’m still healing, still figuring out who I am. And I want to do that outside of us.”
I could tell Jagger didn’t like not getting his way, yet he didn’t push. Though he wouldn’t have been the successful businessman he was if he didn’t try to negotiate. “How about two nights a week at my place?”
I smiled. “How about one, we exchange keys, and we can come and go from each other’s places whenever we want?”
“And we make the relationship public at work so I don’t have to keep my distance there since I won’t be coming home to you at night.”
“My internship doesn’t have that much time left anyway.”
“And then you’ll be in the executive training program.”
I sucked in my lower lip. “I’m not sure if I’m going to accept that offer yet.”
Jagger sat upright. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not sure it will be healthy to work for someone I’m involved with. I feel like it might blur the lines. I like your bossiness in the bedroom, but in the office too? I’m not sure that would be good.”
“I’m not bossy at work.”
I smiled. “Yes, you are, and you know it. You’ll just say anything right now to get your way.”
“I can work on it.”
“I need a little time to think about it all.”
“Fine.”
My smile widened. “You’re cute when you pout.”
“Oh yeah?” Jagger rolled on top of me. “Am I cute when I hold you in place by your throat and use your body for only my pleasure? Because that’s what’s about to happen.”
I hadn’t slept in more than a day, but suddenly my body felt fully invigorated. “No, then you’re sexy.”
He flashed a wicked grin that probably should’ve made me nervous. “Arms up. I need you naked.” Jagger stripped me out of my clothes and took care of his as well. “Bend your knees and spread your legs.”
God, I’d missed this. Missed him.
Jagger slid down and ran a finger through my center. “Wet for me already?”
“Well, you’ve deprived me for the last two weeks.”
“I have a lot to make up to you then.” He flattened his tongue and licked me from one end to another. It felt like a million little nerve endings woke up. I arched off the bed, and Jagger pushed me flat to the mattress. “Keep still or I’ll tie your arms and legs down.”
I thought about moving on purpose, but I didn’t have cuffs or rope, and even if I had, those would’ve taken too long.
I needed him fast. So instead, I closed my eyes and let them roll into the back of my head as he sucked on my clit.
It didn’t take long before I was panting.
Digging my hands into Jagger’s hair, I moaned. “Please, I need you.”
“Fuck…” Jagger crawled up my body. “Say that again.”
“Please, I need you.”
He held my gaze as he pushed inside me in one rough thrust.
I gasped. “More.”
Jagger wrapped a hand around my neck, his long fingers curling and almost meeting at the back, and then he squeezed—not tight enough to restrict my breathing, but so I felt completely at his mercy. He leaned close to my ear and murmured, “Don’t come.”
“No! You can’t—”
My words were lost when he pulled out almost to the tip and slammed back in again. Then he slowed, stroking his cock in and out, rubbing against the tender spot he’d found on our first night together. When I let out a mewl, he leaned in again. “Do. Not. Come.”
Somehow I’d gone from a woman who was unable to have an orgasm with a man to a woman who couldn’t stop herself from having one. I was on the edge, so I decided he should be too and squeezed my muscles tight.
Jagger groaned. “Playing dirty. I like it.” He ducked his head and caught my nipple between his teeth. Tugging, he bit down almost to the point of pain. It sent a lightning bolt shooting through me, and my body started to pulsate. I should’ve known better than to challenge him.
“Christ…” He looked down at me, his eyes caressing my face, moving over his hand around my throat. “You look so beautiful right now. You look like mine.”
“I am yours. I have been since the first day we met.”
That did it. Jagger smashed his lips to mine. His hand at my neck fell away, and he kissed me until I was breathless. What had started as hot and rough slowed to beautiful and intimate. He glided in and out tenderly and pulled back to look into my eyes.
“Come with me, beautiful. Come with me.”
Jagger linked his fingers with mine and pulled my arms up over my head. He stared into my soul as my orgasm rolled through my body like a warm wave.
“Jagger,” I breathed.
He sped up his thrusts. “Right there with you, sweetheart. Always right there with you.”
After we caught our breaths, he glided in and out for the longest time. “I love you, Sutton.”
“I love you, too. For years, I felt like I needed to be fixed, but when I’m with you, I feel like it’s okay to be a little broken.”
Jagger kissed my lips. “Neither of us needs fixing, sweetheart. We just need each other, exactly as we are.”