Chapter 13
13
‘It’s just an inkling,’ Abeo said as I let him into my house. ‘It’s not like I’ve actually figured out who Mr Ex is.’
‘Spit it out already,’ I demanded.
Instead of responding, he took his shoes off and jogged up the winding staircase to my room. He didn’t say anything until the door was closed behind us.
‘OK, so this has been going on for a while now,’ he began, a touch breathless. ‘I’ve noticed that random bits of information I share with James end up on the blog.’
My eyes widened. Abeo was accusing his boyfriend of over a year – his first proper relationship, a guy he was really into – of being the abominable Mr Ex.
‘As I say, it’s just an inkling. But I think it’s worth looking into.’
‘James?’ I asked in disbelief.
‘Don’t tell the others yet. I could be completely wrong. Mr Ex has many ways of getting info on us. He could’ve learned the same things from somewhere else.’ Abeo bit his lip, looking conflicted. ‘And James doesn’t have the fashion sense and witty way with words that Mr Ex does.’
I nodded slowly. ‘I mean, James loves gossip – so maybe he’s just talking more than he should and information is reaching Mr Ex that way.’
Abeo gave me a look. ‘Either that or James is a really good actor. He may have been downplaying his confidence and style this entire time. And he may have been playing me from the moment we met.’
We stood in silence for a while.
I felt chills skitter up my spine at the thought of such pretence, at the fact that the person tormenting us could be someone we believed we knew , someone who was switching masks all the time, changing faces so effortlessly.
‘I’m sorry, Abeo,’ I said eventually.
He continued to stare into space for a few moments, then shrugged and collapsed on to my bed.
‘You know how quickly I’m capable of getting over guys. I just want to know the truth now.’
I went to lie down next to him. ‘So do I.’
He turned to face me. ‘What do we do?’
‘Whoever Mr Ex is, he deserves to be put in his place. And if it’s James, then so be it.’
‘I agree.’
‘No emotions getting in the way then?’
Abeo’s brown eyes went blank. ‘None.’
I could practically see his scheming mind at work, his ruthless side pushing away everything that could distract him.
‘I’m going to pretend everything is normal between me and James, but I’ll be keeping a close eye on him. It might be hard to do that all the time though. Do you think we should get private investigators involved?’
‘Hell no,’ I hissed. ‘Imagine paying a bunch of strangers to investigate our secrets. They could sell them. They might even blackmail us for money. We could end up having more than one Mr Ex in our lives. I don’t trust anyone. No, this we do alone.’
Abeo scowled. ‘It isn’t fair that we have to go at it alone when Mr Ex gets plenty of help. His followers send him so much footage on us, and his comments section is always full of up-to-date gossip about us.’
‘But he’s anonymous. There’s nothing at stake there – not for him, and not for the people getting in touch with him. We’re public figures. Our everything is on the line.’
Abeo sat up, crossed his legs and turned to face me. ‘Listen, there’s something you should know. I want to tell you before I chicken out and lose the courage.’
A dark feeling pooled in my stomach as I also sat up and looked at him.
He took a deep breath, then let it all out. ‘I told James about the abortion. When I went over to see Chloe a few days ago, she looked really upset and when I asked, she told me everything. I met James that evening and … it just poured out of me. I guess I needed someone to talk to.’
I gave him a cold look. His eyes were raw with regret.
‘I’m sorry, Karim. I should’ve known better.’
Despite the sting of betrayal, I wasn’t going to push Abeo away too. I already felt disconnected from the other Exes. I had to pick my battles wisely.
‘It’s done now,’ I snapped. ‘There’s nothing that will undo it. Just be extra careful with what you tell James in the future.’
‘I will,’ he said, looking beyond relieved at my decision to let it go. ‘So, this means either James leaked it,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘or the others haven’t been honest about who else they told. I guess the real question is: do you trust them?’
‘I honestly don’t know who to trust any more.’
‘Is there anyone you suspect?’
‘Well,’ I said slowly, giving him a sly look. ‘You’re the only guy I know who has a great sense of fashion, and who loves boys, gossip, drama –’
Abeo scoffed and tried to push me off the bed, making me chuckle. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket.
An anonymous text.
‘Hold on,’ I said, my heartbeat spiking. ‘I think Mr Ex just texted me for the first time.’
‘What?’ Abeo barked, then grabbed my phone and proceeded to read aloud:
We all want to see you as Chloe’s Prince Charming one last time. I quite like the thought of seeing you together again, arm in arm. I’m sure things between you two are already tense and awkward. It wouldn’t help if she learned of your tryst with that leggy brunette. We both know you were rather forward …
He looked at me in disbelief. ‘What the heck does that mean?’
I buried my head in my hands and mumbled, ‘I might have made out with a random girl at a private party a few months ago.’
Abeo kissed his teeth disapprovingly.
‘Chlo and I were on a break then,’ I said defensively, lifting my head.
‘These excuses won’t work! Do you have any idea how bad this makes you look? Especially right after the abortion news.’
‘I don’t know if it really counts as cheating if –’
‘Does she know?’
I shook my head.
‘Would you ever tell her?’
I shook my head again.
‘Do you want her finding out?’
I gave Abeo a hard look. ‘Obviously not.’
‘Well then, it’s bloody cheating.’
With a deep sigh, I stood and began pacing, my feet comforted by the softness of the plush wool carpet.
‘Chloe cannot find out about this,’ I said. ‘She’ll turn this whole thing round on me and make me look like the bad guy. We can’t let her have any ammunition on me right now. I guess this is Mr Ex’s first threat. Chlo and I were planning to go to the ball together anyway, but now Mr Ex will think it’s because of him and I hate that. He isn’t the one in control here.’
‘Isn’t he?’ Abeo asked with narrowed eyes.
I continued to pace in silence.
‘Urgh, you’re going to think I’m gross,’ he said suddenly, falling back on to my bed. ‘But Mr Ex kinda … turns me on. He’s so dark and unpredictable, and he’s got a real sense of humour on him. He clearly knows his fair share about style too. That’s the kind of guy I’ve always wanted. Why am I more attracted to James after the possibility of him –’
I grabbed a pillow and used it to smack Abeo a few times. He screwed his face up but didn’t try to protect it, almost as though he knew he deserved it. When I was done, he groaned, grabbed the pillow, and buried his face deep into it.
‘Yeah, yeah. I know,’ he said in a muffled voice. ‘It’s stupid. Ridiculous.’
Abeo’s phone began to ring. He looked at the screen and said, ‘It’s Noah. Shall I pick up?’
Chloe’s younger brother was only one year below us in school and had a habit of spending more time with us than with people his own age. Noah was an awkward kid with an easy laugh. He’d come out to his Catholic parents recently, and Abeo was helping him through the process. Just because I needed space from the Clarks for now, it wasn’t right for me to drag Abeo away from them too.
‘Yeah, answer it.’
I zoned out while Abeo advised him on what to wear at the ball tomorrow.
‘That kid’s got a thing for me,’ he said matter-of-factly when he hung up. ‘He tries to hide it but it’s obvious. He’s a sweetheart and all, but it’s never gonna happen. You know I don’t like sweet guys. I really don’t want to break his heart, so I hope he never tells me or makes a move. I think he’s too shy to do that anyway. So, back to Mr Ex –’
‘Can we start dealing with all this tomorrow?’ I cut in abruptly.
‘Yeah, let’s savour this bit of peace while we can,’ Abeo agreed. ‘The moment school starts, things are gonna get wild. I can just feel it.’
We lay side by side again, staring at the ceiling, lost in our own thoughts. I was the first to break the silence.
‘Have Chloe and Sanjay been hanging out more?’
Abeo didn’t respond for a while. I could tell he was choosing his words carefully. ‘Yes, they have. Much more than usual.’
Chloe had chosen to confide in Sanjay, and that was redefining our circle, changing loyalties, altering the factions within our group.
Something twisted in my gut, but I replied casually, ‘Well, Chloe’s always switching besties. She seems to get bored of them quicker than her designer bags.’
Every term at St Victor’s, Chloe Clark would choose people to boss around – those she’d have at her beck and call to do everything from taking her photos, to helping her with homework, to picking up her dresses from exclusive boutiques around London. She knew that most students in our school would do pretty much anything to become a part of her clique or get a single mention on her social media. In fact, most of them would go out of their way for something as little as a compliment from her.
But it was obviously different with Sanjay. He was one of The Exes. She couldn’t boss him around in that way. He was her equal.
‘Are you actually up for the ball?’ Abeo asked.
‘Not really.’ Just the thought of it was enough to give me a headache.
‘It might be fun. Could feel like old times again.’
‘Things will never be the same. Not after this summer.’
Abeo propped himself on his elbow. There was a touch of pity in his eyes that I despised. I was used to people looking at me with respect and envy, occasionally fear.
‘It’s obvious you’ve been feeling a little left out recently,’ he said. ‘But you need to remember that you’re not just an Ex, you’re The Ex. The pioneer. No one could ever push you out. Only you can choose to leave. And if you were to do that, the whole thing collapses. We’re no longer The Exes.’
I tried not to let it show, but I was grateful for everything he was saying. I needed to hear this. Instead of responding, I just nodded.
My thoughts returned to Zara Khan, as they often had since the moment I’d caught her in my arms. For a second, I wondered whether to tell Abeo about her, but decided against it. None of The Exes knew her, she wasn’t a part of my world, and I loved that.
Being around her, even for a brief moment, had felt so refreshing, different, real . I wanted to see her again.
Abeo rolled on to his back again. ‘Mind if I sleep over?’
‘Not at all. That’s one thing that’ll definitely feel like old times.’
He exhaled slowly. ‘You want to know what I’m thinking?’
‘What?’
‘Mr Ex is going to be there tomorrow. There’s no way he would miss an event this big in our social calendar.’
‘Well then, I guess our hunt for Mr Ex begins at Queen Charlotte’s Ball.’