Chapter 23
23
It was impossible not to be open with him – we laughed loudly, swore colourfully, placed bets and jumped around like a pair of careless kids.
I didn’t quite realize when it happened, but at some point he stopped being Karim Malik and just became a normal guy. A guy I was having a great time with. I no longer felt like an awkward introvert – I was fun and relaxed and carefree. Maybe this was the Zara I was supposed to be, if things in my life had been different, if my family had built up my confidence rather than slowly tearing it down.
When we walked towards his car, still giddy from playing in the arcade, I noticed Karim nod at a man parked just behind him. He was clearly Karim’s security guard, who he must have alerted earlier. The man looked at me carefully, no doubt surprised that Karim was hanging out in a place so different to his usual haunts, with a girl who was definitely different to his usual type.
‘The chippie is just a two-minute walk from here,’ I said, then suddenly felt a little insecure and added, ‘but I understand if you wanna leave now.’
‘No way!’ he exclaimed keenly. ‘I was promised the best fish and chips in the world.’
A small smile settled on my face as I led us towards the restaurant. The aroma hit us before we entered, and my mouth watered intensely. But as we went in, I felt a fresh wave of insecurity. I’d never really noticed before, but the place was small, with mismatched chairs, and the floor and tables could’ve used some cleaning.
I turned towards Karim, half-expecting him to be grimacing behind my back, but he looked perfectly calm as he took the place in.
‘Where would you like to sit?’ he asked casually.
‘Maybe a table near the back,’ I replied, trying to match his calm energy.
It seemed he was taking our agreement to not be judgy seriously, and I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I chose the cleanest table; it still had a ketchup smear and a few crumbs scattered across it, but I hoped he wouldn’t notice.
Karim came round to my side and I turned to him and said, ‘Oh, sorry, would you like to sit here?’
‘No, I’m getting the chair for you.’
I couldn’t control my giggle and suddenly he looked like the insecure one. His gesture was just so unexpected; no one had ever done something like that for me before.
‘That’s so kind, thank you,’ I said quickly, reassuring him. ‘But I was going to let you sit down while I go and order.’
‘No, you treated me to the games, so I’d like to get dinner,’ he said firmly, then looked towards the man waiting near the till. ‘Erm. They don’t come to you?’
I shook my head and snorted. ‘They don’t take card payments either. Only cash.’
‘Seriously?’ Karim looked baffled. ‘I didn’t even realize there were restaurants in London that are cash only.’
‘Don’t worry, it’s on me. Shall I just order you what I like?’
He gave me a lopsided smile. ‘Sounds good. Thank you so much.’
I ordered two large portions of fish and chips, complete with mushy peas, curry sauce, tartare sauce, and two ginger beers. The food came quickly, and when I dived in without hesitation, Karim followed suit. This meal wasn’t meant to be eaten with patience and grace.
‘It’s good, right?’ I asked, putting extra salt and vinegar on my chips.
‘Oh my God, so good,’ he replied through a mouthful, something I could tell was uncharacteristic of his usual manners.
I couldn’t quite believe I was having my favourite meal with my favourite influencer. This was just bizarre. No one would ever believe this, unless they spotted me …
‘By the way, if you see me randomly dive under the table, don’t be too alarmed,’ I said, suddenly panicking slightly.
His brows shot together uncomprehendingly. ‘Why would you do that?’
‘Let’s just say, I can’t have any aunty or uncle from my community seeing me out with a guy.’
Karim looked at me thoughtfully. ‘Well, I don’t want anyone seeing me and then screaming it to a crowd. So I may be the one doing the diving.’
‘I find it much easier to talk to you than I thought I would,’ I admitted, breaking the succulent fish with my fork. ‘For some reason it feels like I’ve known you for ages.’
‘Same. I haven’t had this much fun in a long while.’
His words pulled at my heartstrings, making them strum and sing.
Karim’s forehead creased. ‘Can I ask you for a favour?’
Curiosity tugged me to edge a little closer to him. I nodded.
‘Please don’t go on my socials or read about me online. I don’t want it to affect how you see me. You were right: I do sometimes wish I could introduce myself to people myself rather than them assuming they know me because of everything on the internet.’
Easy enough. ‘It’s a deal. I was planning to cut off from social media anyway, so I can focus on my A levels.’
Karim looked relieved. ‘So, this is your London then?’
‘Just a small bit of it. What do you think?’
‘I like it – more than I thought I would. But that might have something to do with my escort being so damn attractive.’
I blushed and looked down, unable to meet the intense look in his eyes.
‘Is it my turn to show you around my London now?’ he asked.
‘Erm.’ I widened my eyes a little. ‘I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for your London. To fit in there, it seems like you need the right kind of contacts, status, wealth. But I guess you can tell me what it’s really like.’
‘I’ll let you decide that for yourself …’
Excitement flushed my cheeks, but then I noticed the clock behind him and felt another wave of panic. ‘I have to be home in ten minutes.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll get you there,’ he said, pushing his plate away and standing.
We rushed to his car, and he swiftly drove me back to the street he’d picked me up from.
‘I don’t feel like dropping you home,’ he whispered after parking up.
My spirits lifted until I felt like I was floating. ‘And I don’t feel like going home.’
We leaned into our headrests and looked into each other’s eyes. It didn’t feel strange or uncomfortable. I didn’t feel the wave of shyness or insecurity that would usually make me turn away, curl back into my shell. He stretched a hand towards me, and I felt tense for only a moment before he gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes and savoured the fluttering sensation that lingered from his touch.
I walked into my house, greeted my parents, only half-listening to a lecture from Dad about how I’d been going out too much, had a shower and got into bed, but I wasn’t really there.
In my mind, I was still with him.