Chapter 25
25
‘Urgh, bunch of rude cows,’ Saliha hissed, glaring at the girls who’d raced past us to grab the last few seats in the lunch hall.
‘Excuse me?’ said the tallest one, glaring back.
‘It’s OK,’ I said quickly. ‘I’m sure there’s space elsewhere.’
Saliha kissed her teeth and strutted off, her steaming tomato pasta bobbing on her lunch tray with each forceful step.
Until this point, it had been the best first day back ever. I’d filled Sal in on every detail of my date with Karim Malik and we’d been giggling non-stop. She had been in such a chipper mood, but now she was cranky as hell because she couldn’t stand the arrogant way all these popular girls behaved.
There was an obvious hierarchy in our school, and although it could be fluid at times, with people moving around between the different cliques, there was a consensus on who was popular and who wasn’t. I hated the way the overconfident loudmouths at the top assumed the rest of us were passive side characters who spent our time admiring them when in fact we were just busy living our own lives.
Sal’s sudden shriek of irritation made me jump.
‘I was literally standing right next to those seats,’ she protested. ‘It’s an unspoken rule that if you’re standing that close, they are your seats. You’d expect them to have more respect for sixth formers.’
‘Will you stop ranting already? Don’t let them ruin our lunch.’
‘That girl is Hania’s younger sister, Alisha,’ Sal said. ‘There are rumours that she was the one dating Imran over the summer. No wonder she’s suddenly so confident. She thinks she’s become popular through association.’
I couldn’t help but glance back and look at the girl properly. I saw it – both her resemblance to Hania and the reason Imran was drawn to her. There was a particular look he generally went for, and she encapsulated it entirely. Her dark hair was long and glossy, her heavy make-up accentuated her doll-like features, and she knew exactly how beautiful she was.
‘Apparently they stopped seeing each other because Hania’s parents wouldn’t allow either of their daughters out the house after Hania was caught with that other guy. He was from another school, by the way.’
I sighed, an indignant flare sparking in my chest. ‘Let me guess – they still gave their two sons complete freedom to do whatever the hell they wanted.’
My gaze flicked over to Imran’s table, where Hania and her twin brothers, who were in the academic year below ours, were also sitting. They were all part of the same crowd and were always the loudest in the hall. The most watched too.
‘Obviously,’ Saliha hissed. ‘They were uploading new content on their socials every day. Racing their crappy cars, going to the gym in the middle of the night, chilling in shisha bars.’
‘It’s so pathetic. Wherever Imran goes, all his boys follow,’ I said, looking at him. ‘I have no idea why any girl would willingly hang out with them. They have absolutely no respect for women.’
Imran suddenly looked right at me. I froze.
He’d barely acknowledged my existence at school before. We’d talked more during our study session at Saliha’s than we had in ten years of school together.
To my surprise, he nodded a greeting at us, then called us over with a tilt of his head. The others from his table turned to face us.
I gulped, hating the attention.
‘Shall we just go and sit there?’ Saliha asked tightly. ‘I’m hungry. I’ll start a riot if I don’t eat right now.’
I opened my mouth to say no , but she was already sauntering over.
‘You girls strugglin’ to find seats?’ Imran asked. ‘No problem. I got you.’
His eyes lingered on me and I looked away sharply. I wanted to have a chilled-out lunch with my best friend, not be thrown into the midst of this judgemental clique where I wouldn’t be able to relax for a second.
Imran turned to the two boys opposite him. ‘You guys are done, so bugger off now.’
The moment they left, Saliha sat down and said to Imran, ‘Your girlfriend was pretty rude to us just now.’
His brows furrowed. ‘Girlfriend?’
‘Alisha.’
‘She ain’t my girlfriend,’ he said, eyes flicking to me. ‘You gonna sit?’
Without a word, I took a seat and began eating my pasta. I’d decided I was going to be as reserved as possible.
‘Hold on, what did you just say about my sister?’ Hania snapped. ‘I heard you mention her name.’
There was pin-drop silence around the table for a few seconds before Sal spoke up.
‘I just mentioned she was quite rude to us and took our seats from right under my nose, and then had the nerve to be smug about it.’
‘And I said we ain’t seein’ each other any more,’ Imran chipped in nonchalantly.
‘Stop bitchin’ about my sister,’ Hania hissed, and then stared at her brothers. ‘You two could stick up for her as well. She’s your damn sister too.’
It was obvious they weren’t in the habit of defending their sisters either at home or anywhere else.
Hania grabbed her tray and stormed off, her two best friends trailing close behind. I inhaled deeply. Great. We all had biology together and I’d probably have to deal with passive-aggressive comments spoken just loud enough to be overheard …
‘Girls are too sensitive, man. They go crazy over the smallest things,’ said one of Hania’s brothers, snickering with the other boys. It was the larger twin, and I felt the urge to slap his round, haughty face. I could only imagine how unsupportive he would’ve been when Hania’s summer had turned to hell.
‘Excuse me?’ I hadn’t planned to speak up, but it had been impossible for me to hold back.
‘What?’ he barked at me.
‘Your comment was sexist and stupid.’ The words came out of me cold and venomous. ‘At least she has the guts to stick up for her family, which is a lot more than you have the guts to do.’
‘Oh,’ Imran hooted and flicked his wrist. ‘You got told.’
All the boys on the table began laughing, jeering and throwing around taunting comments.
‘Man’s getting gunned down today.’
‘She put you in your place, fam.’
My hands started to feel tense and clammy.
The larger twin made a face at me and said, ‘Maybe you should keep your typical Paki nose out of other people’s business, you little nobody.’
The boys around him began laughing so hard they were struggling to catch their breath, pushing into each other and smacking the table. Only Saliha and Imran remained serious.
‘That’s out of order, man,’ Imran said harshly. ‘Apologize now.’
Hurt crept deep inside my chest, squeezing tightly, until tears pricked at my eyes. I took a deep breath. I wasn’t going to let any of these people see how much this was getting to me.
‘You all right?’ Imran asked me.
I avoided his gaze and didn’t bother to respond. He was as bad as the rest of them. He’d goaded his friends to do this – all the times they’d objectified and belittled girls in the past had enabled this.
As I stood, something in my expression made everyone around the table go instantly quiet.
‘You have nothing real to say to me in response to me calling you out for being sexist and spineless and so you’re attacking my physical appearance and being racist. You’re Pakistani yourself, so I don’t understand why you’d say something like that.’
The snickering resumed almost instantly. I scoffed in disbelief.
‘This is what you guys do, isn’t it? When you can’t handle a girl calling you out for your bullshit you start putting her down in any way you can.’
‘Bunch of weak, spineless tossers,’ Saliha spat. ‘Your muscles aren’t fooling anyone.’
Saliha made to stand too but I pushed her shoulder down. ‘Please stay and eat properly. I’ll see you later.’
‘Zara, wait,’ Imran called after me.
I didn’t stop, not even as he jogged up behind me.
‘Don’t take those guys seriously,’ he said, and then stuttered a little before continuing. ‘You’re so beautiful and smart, and everyone knows it.’
I turned to him, my face stripped of all emotion.
‘Stop pretending you give a shit about me. I’m sure you’ve all spoken to plenty of girls like that in the past, both behind their back and openly humiliating them to their face in front of everyone. Just go back to your boys and keep laughing blindly at their sexist, racist jokes.’
His brows creased with annoyance and he opened his mouth to respond, but I spoke first. ‘ Please stay away from me.’
I walked into the girls’ toilets, locked myself in a cubicle and finally let the tears fall freely. I checked my phone to find that Karim still hadn’t responded to my texts from earlier. I closed my eyes and imagined I was with him.
Far away from here.