Chapter 31
31
‘I’ve never been to a Halloween party before,’ I said nervously, taking in all the spooky decorations adorning the shops around Camden High Street.
‘It’ll be fun,’ Karim responded, ‘and it’s the perfect way for me to introduce you to my world.’
I crossed my arms against the cold wind. ‘I don’t really like big crowds.’
‘Abeo’s Halloween parties are quite exclusive. They can get busy but it’s never really a full house.’
‘I know.’ I smirked when Karim’s brow shot up. ‘I’ve obviously watched The Exes’ videos before. They’re rather difficult to miss, especially the Halloween ones. They always go viral. You guys go all out with your costumes.’
Karim chuckled. ‘I was going to tell you what I’m planning to go as, but I think I’ll keep it a secret for now. Come to mine first and we’ll go together. Around ten should be good.’
I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at him. I had no idea whether his expression shifted in response because I could barely see his face behind the dark sunglasses that hid his eyes and the cap that shaded half his face.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Do you really think I’d ever get permission to leave my house at that time?’
‘Have you never snuck out before?’ Upon seeing my expression, he laughed. ‘Oh, come on, live a little. Sneaking out is basically a rite of passage for teens. You need to try it at least once. What’s the worst that could happen?’
‘You really don’t know my parents,’ I replied quietly. ‘There’s a lot that could happen.’
‘There’s no pressure, Zara.’ His voice was kind. ‘If you’re able to make it, amazing. If not, there’s always another time.’
He lifted his sunglasses to wink at me and my heart fluttered.
Over the past month, we’d met every weekend. While sharing meals or strolling through parks and museums, we exchanged endless stories. These stolen moments with Karim in the most beautiful corners of London were what I most looked forward to. It was as though my life was always in black and white, and colour surged into everything the moment I met him again.
We reached Camden Tube Station and lingered outside it.
‘Thank you for lunch – that pasta was amazing,’ I said as Karim drew close to me. I shifted uncomfortably and looked down at my feet. I’d sensed him wanting to kiss me a few times now. He was always a complete gentleman, but I could tell he wanted me. I wanted him too.
And what if he lost interest in me if I didn’t let him take things further? How much longer could we go on like this?
‘Let me know when you get home, OK?’ Karim murmured, tucking a loose strand behind my ear. I loved it when he did that.
I looked up at his tall frame, his gorgeous face, his deeply alluring lips.
As ever, I felt the urge to grab him and forget all boundaries.
As ever, I didn’t.
Guilt seared through me even if I did something minuscule like hold his hand. My parents’ warnings were instilled so deeply within me that they constantly lingered at the back of my mind, creating a barrier between us.
‘I always do,’ I said through a smile.
He smiled back, knowing we’d be sending each other messages back and forth the moment I got off the Tube.
‘I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow – hopefully,’ he said, going in for a goodbye hug.
‘Hopefully,’ I responded, savouring the feel of his arms wrapping around me.
As he let go, he kissed me gently on the cheek. It was the first time he’d done that. It felt electric.
‘I hope that’s OK,’ he said gently.
‘More than OK.’
His answering grin made me swoon.
The entire journey home, I fantasized about what it would be like to kiss Karim. I craved feeling his hands on my body and his lips on mine. I imagined that I had turned at the last second, so instead of kissing my cheek, his soft lips had met mine. I’d been so curious for so long now – what would it feel like to be kissed, to shun all boundaries and just close the distance between me and the boy I wanted more than anything else in the world? And every time I met Karim, I felt my self-control slipping a little more.
The sharp rev of a car snatched me out of my thoughts as I entered my driveway.
Imran hopped out of a BMW filled with his friends. He was laughing as he fist-bumped one of them and shut the car door.
I couldn’t help but check him out.
His skin fade and beard were blended flawlessly as ever, and his gorgeous features were creased with humour, which only made him look more charming. His tracksuit bottoms screamed comfort and his well-defined biceps were visible through his grey hoodie …
While Karim’s style was more classic and refined, Imran’s appeared effortless, as though he could’ve rolled out of bed like that, and still managed to look so damn good.
The moment I caught his eye, he jogged towards me. I turned away instantly.
‘Zara,’ he called. ‘Hold on a sec.’
His friends in the car noticed me too and began rolling down the windows.
‘Oi, Zara,’ one of them said. ‘You brushed up nicely this weekend.’
I always dressed up a little extra when I saw Karim, taking time to perfect my natural make-up look and pick out a stylish outfit. Suddenly my fitted jeans felt too revealing. To be fair, even if I’d been in a burka their wandering gazes would have made me uncomfortable.
‘Shut up, man,’ Imran answered back for me.
He caught up to me, and the frustration on his face was clear.
‘You haven’t responded to my messages in weeks now. At least hear me out.’
‘My parents are inside,’ I retorted, pointing to the front door. ‘I don’t need you getting me in trouble.’
‘I’ll keep my voice down,’ he whispered, gesturing to his friends to leave. They drove off, and I felt I could breathe a little easier. ‘You gonna give me a chance to talk now?’
I crossed my arms. ‘Talk about what?’
‘About how you’ve been blamin’ me for something I didn’t even do.’
‘Fine, I haven’t been responding to your messages, it’s true, but it’s not like we were best friends before this. Why does it even matter to you?’
Imran stuttered. ‘Honestly, I don’t know. I just can’t seem to stop … thinkin’ about you.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘I already told you – you can’t seduce me with your usual tricks.’
His gaze darkened.
A muscle in his jaw twitched as he nodded in the direction of the road. ‘I literally just chased you. I never chase girls. I’m trying here, Zara.’
I lifted my hands in mock excitement. ‘Oh wow, I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Imran Sayyid is chasing me. What an honour.’
He took a step towards me and suddenly all the humour faded, replaced by an intensity that made me stand very still. While holding my gaze, he kept coming closer until I was tilting my neck all the way back to look up at him.
I swallowed slowly. ‘My parents might –’
‘I don’t care.’
It was impossible to draw breath, to think straight.
With Karim, things felt safe and slow, as though I had some semblance of control. But with Imran, it was like all rules and limits became meaningless. If he knew I wanted him but was holding back, he’d simply take my hand and walk me through every boundary himself, until we’d broken them all.
It was kind of intoxicating.
‘What do you want from me?’ I whispered.
‘I want –’
His gaze lingered from my eyes to my lips to my neck, and back up again. Then he shook his head and broke away. Something told me that he didn’t share his feelings very often, but he wanted to try with me.
As he walked away, I felt the urge to hold him back. It was only after he’d left that I realized I had lifted my hand to stop him, but it had been a mere second too late.