Chapter 43
43
It was as though we’d entered a nineties Bollywood film in the heart of modern-day London.
The two dhol players created such an upbeat ambience for Azad bhai and Sana baji’s entrance that everyone longed to start dancing the moment the bride and groom took their seats on the multicoloured, brightly lit stage.
After a quick welcome speech from my parents, the DJ announced that the dance performances would take place as a contest between the bride’s side and the groom’s side, with the latter kicking off the show.
My stomach was in knots throughout the entire first performance, but, more than anything else, I cared about impressing Zara. After the smoothness of the first dance routine, my confidence kicked in. I loved seeing Zara in the front row, seated with my cousins, clapping me on, cheering for everyone.
On the bride’s side, an endless entourage of Sana baji’s cousins and friends had flown in from Pakistan, having rehearsed some spectacular moves to the latest trending music, and they were incredible.
We were keeping up well though.
Kiran had encouraged our side to prepare comedy performances as well: it added an extra layer of entertainment to watch aunties and uncles don masks of the bride and groom’s faces and dance to classic Bollywood songs.
Some of the girls from the bride’s side had tried flirting with me during the performances. It had been fun, but I only had eyes for Zara. I couldn’t wait to be near her again.
When the final dance performance finished, Kiran and I grabbed Azad bhai and Sana baji, and soon everyone was on the dance floor. It was the most beautiful mayhem. Everyone moved with such joy, as though not a single disagreement or hiccup had taken place in preparation for this day, as though everyone was happy from the heart, and always would be, for this new bond that had been made.
I danced with my parents, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so carefree and light-hearted. Mr Ex and The Exes may as well have disappeared altogether from my life.
When I’d given my family enough time, I went to look for Zara. She was still sitting, grinning openly as she looked at everyone having a good time. When she spotted me approaching her, my hand outstretched, her eyes widened with panic.
‘Oh, come on,’ I shouted over the music. ‘It’ll be fun.’
I took her hand and pulled her towards me. She rolled her eyes dramatically and then laughed as we were swept into the crowd. I didn’t stop until we were right in the centre. I held on to her waist and danced with her to the beat of the drum, to the bhangra, to the fresh remixes of classic Bollywood songs. We jumped and swayed and sang along to the cheesy love songs at the top of our lungs.
Maybe this was the happiest I’d ever been.
Only when I was dying for some hydration did I pull Zara away from the crowd, grab a bottle of water and escape to a secluded corner hidden behind a row of colourful drapes and suspended marigold garlands.
‘Want some?’ I asked breathlessly after taking a long swig.
She nodded, took it from me and began to drink. I watched her closely as she knocked her head back, closed her eyes and swallowed. My gaze fixed on her smooth neck, the glistening gold on her eyelids, the subtle sheen of sweat on her forehead.
Everything about her compelled me to draw closer.
Zara smiled as she handed the bottle back to me. I returned the smile as I placed the bottle on the floor and moved nearer to her. We were both still breathing heavily. I got so close that we no longer had to shout over the music. I was towering over her a little and she lifted her chin to meet my gaze.
‘You were right. That was a lot of fun.’
‘It was,’ I murmured, tucking her hair behind an ear so I could see her face better. ‘ You’re a lot of fun.’
She lowered her gaze demurely and it tugged at my heartstrings. When she looked up at me again, I noticed a fire burning in her eyes.
‘You know what you said about imagining me as your wife?’
My stomach in knots, I nodded.
‘I thought you should know that I can imagine it too. And I can definitely imagine wearing something like this again. Just for you.’
Desire shot through me so fiercely it almost made me weak at the knees.
This was the girl I wanted to take home with me, to wake up to every day, to speak to about all my deepest fears and dreams.
‘You’re driving me crazy, Zara,’ I breathed, curling a hand around her waist.
Usually, she would stiffen at my touch, but today she was different. She melted into it, drawing closer, lowering her lashes, lifting her chin, parting her lips.
I placed a hand gently on her face, slowly trailing it down to the back of her neck, and I tightened my hold of her waist, pulling her closer. The desire I felt for her was reflected in her own eyes and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I gradually tilted my head lower, knowing this was her first kiss, giving her enough time to pull back whenever she wanted.
‘I’ve never felt so safe and seen,’ she whispered, her breath tickling my lips.
Light spread through my body, a heat that felt like coming home to a crackling fireplace after a long, cold day outside. ‘Neither have I.’
And I meant it. The world saw me through the carefully curated content I put out to entertain it, but Zara saw the real me, and I knew my every emotion and thought was safe with her. Always would be.
‘You’re perfectly right for me,’ I said.
She smiled, then repeated, ‘You’re perfectly right for me.’
‘Is this OK?’
Zara nodded. And then I kissed her.
My lips pressed against hers gently. I could tell she was tense, so I kept it soft. It was as though my lips were barely touching hers. I could tell she was holding her breath. My fingers were caressing her waist and neck lovingly, holding her close, showing her how much I wanted her.
I broke off the kiss and looked at her.
Her eyes were still closed, and I leaned lower to trail kisses up her neck. She gasped a little, stiffened for a second, and then moved her head back to give me better access. I brushed my lips to the centre of her throat, then made a little circle with my tongue there, and she moaned.
The sound had a different impact on us both.
I tried to recapture her lips with mine, but she moved back self-consciously, her hands pushing my chest away. Her eyes were wide with worry, as though she’d expressed something she shouldn’t have.
‘It’s OK, trust me,’ I said, holding her gaze. ‘It’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard.’
She breathed deeply for a few seconds, and I was afraid she was pulling away from me, but then she smiled and bit her lower lip. The hands which had just pushed me away curled into the material of my sherwani and tugged me close again. I almost stumbled into her, and we both burst out laughing.
‘We can stop if you want,’ I offered.
‘No,’ she breathed. ‘Let’s do it again. And this time I’m going to try kissing you back.’
We both reached for each other this time, and our lips met with an intensity that I felt somewhere deep inside my chest. I parted her lips with mine and went in with a deeper kiss, biting her lower lip.
When I first put my tongue in her mouth, she inhaled, freezing a little.
But then she found my rhythm and began copying my movements. She breathed and moaned into my mouth, hands roaming over my chest and neck, tiptoeing higher as though she couldn’t get close enough.
Lust curled around my body, making me want to unbutton her dress, touch her everywhere, feel her bare skin against mine. I pulled back and looked into her eyes.
‘We should stop now,’ I said firmly.
She looked hurt for a second, then she realized why I’d moved away, and she smirked.
‘You’re a quick learner,’ I said, grinning down at her.
She stuck her tongue out. ‘You’re a good teacher.’
I was about to respond when the flash of a camera caught me off guard. Zara froze, eyes widening until she looked frantic.
‘What was that?’ she asked in a panicked tone. ‘Was someone taking photos of us making out?’
I rushed towards the area the flash had come from, but there was no one there. An uncomfortable feeling took root in my heart, washing away the excitement and desire I’d felt moments ago.
Zara caught up to me. ‘Someone just photographed us, didn’t they? Oh my God. What if those photos end up online?’ The blood had drained from her face.
We’d hired plenty of wedding photographers and videographers, some to capture social media footage, others to prepare a traditional South Asian wedding trailer and photo album. It was probably one of them …
I knew it was wishful thinking even as I considered it as a possibility.
Those photographers would’ve been out with the crowd, capturing the bride and groom and their loved ones celebrating with them. They wouldn’t have come to a secluded corner to take photos of the groom’s brother with his tongue in a girl’s mouth.
It was probably a nosy, meddling guest … someone who wouldn’t think twice about giving Mr Ex some juicy new gossip … or maybe it was the menace himself …
My hands grew clammy as I realized what this meant for Zara. It was hard enough to be swept into the limelight, but to be splashed in front of the public eye for the first time in this way. I was barely able to protect myself from the scrutiny and hate online. How on earth was I going to save her from it?
It was getting hard to draw breath.
The DJ announced that dinner would be served shortly, and it was time for everyone to take their seats.
I turned to Zara and held her hands in mine. ‘I’ve got to go back to my family now. Let’s just get through this evening, OK? Don’t worry, everything will be fine.’
She nodded, but I could see in her eyes that she didn’t believe me.