Chapter Twenty-One
Lisbeth looked around her small study, trying to decide if there was anything else she needed to do before she left for the country.
Thomas still hadn’t returned, but she couldn’t wait any longer.
She needed space. Alice was upset with her that they were missing the event on the epic, but she didn’t want to face all of society when she didn’t even know where her husband was.
The newspapers certainly did. They’d been giddily sharing his whereabouts and antics for the last few days.
She stood, stretching. It was later than she realized.
Lisbeth stepped out into the hallway and frowned.
Light was coming from the drawing room. She walked to the doorway, and her brows shot up in surprise to find Thomas sitting there, frowning at the fire.
Her dress must have made a rustling sound because Thomas’s gaze flicked to her. Their eyes connected, and they studied each other silently. As if remembering himself, he stood. “I thought you were already asleep, or I would have come to find you.”
Thomas had a dark purple bruise on his jaw. She grimaced. It was likely a result of his scuffle with Justin. She pursed her lips and then said, “I’m leaving tomorrow and taking Alice and Jeremy with me.”
He frowned. Her eyes sparked with anger. “You can’t think I would stay while you make a fool of yourself, me, and the children.”
Thomas ran his hands through his hair. He looked rumpled and scruffy. Her heart clenched, wondering if she stepped closer, if he would smell like perfume. Some of the gossip sheets had hinted at him carousing. It didn’t matter; their union made a mockery of the institution of marriage.
“Can we sit and talk?” he asked.
What was he up to? Reluctantly, she nodded. Lisbeth sat on the sofa, and Thomas took a seat in a wingback chair. “I’ve behaved abominably.”
Lisbeth snorted. “You wed me and then left to spend your days embroiled in vice. You have made me look like a fool.”
“Most of the men I spent time with think I’m simply enjoying my celebrity status.”
Did he really think that? She leaned forward. “Have you not read any of the papers? People are betting about why you married and then abandoned me.”
A stricken look filled his face. “Lisbeth, I’m sorry. I’ve been so angry.”
“We need to get an annulment or live a separate life.”
Lisbeth meant the words, but she’d be lying if they didn’t cause her pain. Yes, she’d hurt him, but he’d made her pay for it. No more. Thomas quietly said, “I don’t want that, Lizzie.”
“Don’t call me that,” she hissed. “Be reasonable. The last few days have been a debacle.”
“They have. I was angry, but I want you, Alice, and your son in my life.”
Lisbeth shook her head. “You don’t even know them.”
He joined her on the sofa, and she stiffened, not wanting to be close to the man who’d hurt her so much. “Lisbeth, can we start anew?”
Her eyes widened. “You can’t be serious. I’m leaving for the country tomorrow.”
“Doesn’t your club have an event for the tablets we found?”
“In a month,” Lisbeth provided.
Thomas stood and paced. “Don’t leave.”
Lisbeth looked up at him, confused. “I can’t stay here.”
“I will stop with all the revelry and craziness.”
Lisbeth threw her hands up in the air. “Why? What does it matter?”
He was quiet for a moment. He ran his hands through his dark brown-red hair. Thomas turned back to her, his eyes serious. “I love you, Lizzie. I think we would be making a mistake if we don’t try.”
She stood and faced him, her anger evident. “You told me you hate me, Thomas. That you want other women to frequent your bed. I understand why, but I can’t stay or keep my children around this chaos. We will find a way for you to be in Alice’s life.”
“There is no one else I want but you. I don’t want you and the children to leave. I want a life with you. It is all I’ve ever wanted.”
Deep sadness coursed through her because she understood his feelings. They’d been denied so much. Even though she was angry, Lisbeth couldn’t stop herself from pressing her hand to his cheek. “There’s been too much hurt. Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, it isn’t enough.”
“Allow me one month to convince you otherwise,” he said quietly.
“It isn’t a good idea. The anger you have for me is still there, and again, I don’t blame you.”
He grabbed her hand and held it. “Rose and my mother have allowed me to think of it differently. I’m still angry, but I understand why you did it.”
Lisbeth could still remember how hopeless she felt when she left him in Tuscany and then found out she was pregnant. “I didn’t have many options.”
“I know, and I hate that I couldn’t fix that for you.”
She looked at him. “We were so young and full of big dreams. My decision wasn’t a choice; it was a necessity.”
He ran his hand along her back, comforting her. Lisbeth wanted to lean into him. She was so tired.
“Give me a chance.”
She straightened and stepped away. “You’ve barely been here.”
“We deserve a real opportunity to make our marriage work. I can’t change that I forced you to wed me.
I’m ashamed that I did that, especially because of what happened with your first marriage.
I’ve been sitting here thinking about that.
I’ve done the same thing that your father and Justin asked of you. ”
Guilt covered his face. He had. They’d both hurt each other so much. She just didn’t see them coming back from it.
“Give me a month. You can stay for your club’s event, and if you decide after that we won’t still work, then we can figure out how to separate.”
She bit her lip, and he added, “There is a love so deep between us, and maybe you are right that it doesn’t mean we should be together, but shouldn’t we at least try?”
Lisbeth did love Thomas. She always had. Eventually, she said, “A month, and that is it.”
He smiled. “A month to learn about you, Alice, and Jeremy.”
“Also, a month to see if you can truly forgive me for not telling you about our daughter.”
Pain slashed across his face. He didn’t debate the point with her but said, “Agreed. I think I will get some rest so I can start fresh tomorrow.”
She nodded. “I will stay down here for a little longer.”
Lisbeth watched him leave and then sat down on the sofa again. Could they weather all of this? She was scared to have hope, but it was trying desperately to flare within her.
*
Thomas sat in the garden with Lisbeth. He was nervous. She wanted them to tell Alice and Jeremy, together, that they were staying in London. The children burst out of the terrace doors, and the governess closed them, waiting inside. Lisbeth had asked Miss Ashby to give them some privacy.
Jeremy’s face lit up when he saw Thomas. Alice stumbled to a stop and glared at him. Thomas wondered if one’s heart could truly shatter. He reminded himself that they all needed time. Still, he’d missed so much of his daughter’s life. Jeremy skipped towards him. “Hello, Mr. Easton.”
He smiled. “Please call me Thomas.”
Alice slowly made her way to them. Thomas studied her.
While she had his hair coloring and eyes, he saw so much of Lisbeth’s personality in her.
Lisbeth was defiant and rambunctious as a child.
He often speculated that he’d been allowed to play with her because her parents hoped it would tire her out.
Lisbeth pointed to the seats for Alice and Jeremy to join them. “I have great news. We are staying at least until after the Historical Society for Female Curators event on the epic.”
Jeremy grinned and continued to stare adoringly at Thomas. He liked the boy. Actually, he liked both the children, even if Alice wasn’t sure of him.
“Aren’t you excited, Alice?” Lisbeth asked.
She shrugged. Thomas said, “I would like to learn more about both of you. Your mother explained you both have an interest in history.”
Jeremy nodded. “I want to be an explorer like you.”
He smiled. “Perhaps someday we can go on an adventure together.”
Alice glared at him. “You will never be my father.”
Thomas had rationally understood that this would be painful, but not how much. He gulped, as if he couldn’t speak.
Lisbeth warned, “Alice.”
“It’s fine,” Thomas was finally able to say.
Alice grabbed Jeremy’s hand. “I want to play.”
Jeremy seemed uninterested, and Lisbeth said, “Both of you go and play. We will have a treat in a little bit.”
They rushed off farther into the garden, chasing each other. He glanced at Lisbeth’s devastated face. It was precisely how he felt.
“I’m sorry, Thomas.”
He wanted this. “What we need is time to become acquainted with each other. We will be fine.”
She nodded but was uncertain. Lisbeth said, “Alice was very close with Nicholas. I don’t want to hurt you, so please tell me if you don’t want to know certain things.”
“I want to know everything about her,” he said, determined.
“He died when Alice was eight, and it was tough for her. Nicholas doted on her and was affectionate with both children. He’d grown up in a very cold household. He didn’t want that for Alice or Jeremy. Most of his free time was spent teaching and playing with them.”
“While I want to hate him, your husband seemed like a good man.”
Lisbeth nodded. “We became close friends, but there was always a sadness that hung over him. He’d lost his true love, Margaret, and I’m not sure he ever recovered.”
“The ton can certainly make a mess of life,” Thomas muttered.
She nodded in agreement. His wife looked beautiful today. He perused her form, unable to stop himself. Lisbeth was dressed in a green gown, and it accentuated her slender waist and firm, small breasts. A surge of lust coursed through him. He imagined his hands sliding along her body.
Her face heated as if she could sense his thoughts. They were trying to salvage their relationship, and he couldn’t stop thinking about touching her. Unable to stop himself, he said, “You look lovely today, Lisbeth.”
A hum of attraction surged between them. Her eyes connected with his. “I don’t think we should be intimate until we figure out what we are doing.”
Thomas wanted Lisbeth, but would not rush her. “When you are ready, I will be.”
She nodded, her gaze momentarily flicking to his mouth before going back to his eyes. He smiled softly. “I want you as much as I did when I was a boy. I think I will always crave you.”
Lisbeth gulped, seemingly flustered. He grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it. “But I can wait until you are ready. I forced you into this marriage; I won’t force you into my bed. I want you to come willingly.”
She flushed. “We’ve already done that.”
“Next time you are in my arms, I don’t want it to be because we are both angry.”
They stared at one another, and then Thomas broke his gaze and looked at Alice and Jeremy. He wanted Lisbeth physically, but more importantly, he wanted everything. Thomas wanted her heart, her friendship, and a life with her, Alice, and Jeremy.