Chapter 5
THEO
I managed to go a whole week avoiding the farm, but now it’s Sunday and I’m out of excuses for why I can’t go to dinner. I look through my suitcase for something to wear, groaning as I pull out my last pair of boxers. I must have forgotten to pack everything in my rush to leave the farm last week.
“Ready to go?”
“What the hell, Rob, get out!” I shout, grabbing the towel I’d just dropped to cover my dick, keeping my back to him.
“Interesting,” he chuckles behind me. “I can get you an appointment with my aesthetician if you want?”
“What’s that?” I ask, scowling at him over my shoulder.
He looks pointedly at my bare arse. “You’re like a hairy wee bear.”
I grab my comb and throw it at his head, but Robbie quickly ducks out of the room before it hits him. No way in hell am I waxing my arse.
An hour later we’re at the farmhouse, following the sound of voices through to the dining room.
Isla blocks my way. “Can I have a word with you, please, in private?”
My stomach drops, knowing this isn’t going to be good. I step back, letting her lead the way to the living room, where she closes the door behind us. “There’s something you need to know.”
“What?”
“Okay, so since you’ve been MIA, Richard’s family have been eating pretty much every meal here—on Gran’s insistence—and, well, Bailey is a part of his family. Just so you know … he’s here.” She nods towards the door.
I frown at her. Bailey never mentioned having family outside of Surrey. Now I come to think of it, the amount of times Isla used to go down to Cumbria to visit Richard, she never once mentioned him.
“How?” I ask through clenched teeth.
“How what?”
“How is he family? You never mentioned him before, nor has Richard.”
“Well, I didn’t mention Noah much either, to be fair, and Richard isn’t as close to Bailey as Noah is,” she says a little defensively.
“Anyway, as far as I’m aware, Richard’s uncle Jake kinda took Bailey under his wing when he was fresh out of school.
He moved in with them just as Richard was leaving for uni. ”
What was Bailey doing in Cumbria? He’d told me he wanted to get away from his family, but the plan had always been to come to Skye together. Not that that matters now, he made it perfectly clear that’s not what he wanted.
“I can go,” I say, stepping around her.
Isla grabs my arm. “I don’t want you to go. Just tell me what happened between you two?”
“It was nothing … we just fell out, Isla. People fall out all the time.”
She squints. “You’re lying to me. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, Theo.”
“I never asked for your help,” I snap. “Look, I’ll stay for dinner, but then I’m going straight back to Robbie’s.”
“Fine.” She releases my arm and opens the door for me.
If I leave now then everyone will think I have a problem.
They’ll poke and prod until the wound that barely scabbed over is ripped open again, and I can’t do it.
I need it all to stay in my head because if I say any of it out loud then it’s suddenly real.
I’ll be that eighteen-year-old boy again, scared shitless because he didn’t listen when his boyfriend told him he wanted to end things.
It’s just one meal; I can do this. I don’t even have to speak to him.
By the time I get back to the dining room, everyone is already seated. I settle next to Robbie, hoping he’ll be a buffer if anyone tries to talk to me.
Different conversations ping around the table and I try to keep my eyes on my empty plate, all too aware that Bailey is sitting opposite me.
I can hear him talking, and it’s been so long since I saw him that his voice feels wrong.
It’s softer than I remember, and my eyes betray me when he chuckles, flicking up to peek at him.
He has his head bent towards Richard’s little brother, Noah, grinning like an idiot.
Long blonde waves brush his freckle-scattered cheeks.
“Well look who decided to show his face.”
My head snaps to Gran as she comes in with bowls of steaming roast potatoes. She places them down either end of the table without breaking eye contact, and I shrink under her withering gaze.
“How nice of you to grace us with your presence, Theo,” she says coolly.
My eyes dart back to Bailey and I notice his chin is sporting some yellow bruising.
Facing Gran again, I force a smile. “Couldn’t miss out on your roast again, Gran.”
“Don’t disappear after dinner. You and I are going to have a chat.”
Robbie elbows me in the ribs after she’s gone, grinning.
“What?”
“You’re in trouble,” he sings.
“Piss off, Rob.” So much for him being a buffer.
Granda comes in next with roast beef on a serving plate. When he locks eyes with me, he shakes his head. I underestimated just how much trouble I would be in by showing my face here. I should have avoided everyone for a couple more weeks until the wedding.
I look at Bailey again, like I can’t help myself, to find him already staring at me.
His gaze slams into mine and I’m anchored, unable to pull away.
A little frown creases his forehead, and I’m taken back to that night again.
His tear-stained face close to mine as he tells me everything is my fault.
I suddenly get lost in the ocean of his blue eyes, and I’m dragged deeper and deeper until I’m drowning.
I can’t breathe.
“You okay?” Robbie asks, looking at Bailey, then back to me, concern written all over his face.
I nod a few times, looking away from his questioning stare, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans while trying desperately to suck in air without drawing any more attention.
“Dig in, kids,” Granda says as he and Gran take their seats at either end of the table.
I’m not hungry but I routinely help myself to the food. Skipping the gravy, I squirt ketchup on the side of my plate. Robbie makes a gagging noise, but I ignore him, not in the mood for his shit.
“So, Noah, what do you do for work, dear?” Gran asks.
Noah peeks at Gran through his black curls, light grey eyes wide as though he’s surprised the attention is suddenly on him.
“I, um, work for Jake’s landscaping company, in the back office.
” He points to his uncle at the other end of the table, who’s deep in conversation with Granda. “Basically admin.”
Bailey laughs softly and I fight the urge to look at him. “He goes to clients’ houses to discuss what they’d like done, and takes measurements and photos. Then comes back to the office and books them in,” Bailey tells Gran. “You can tell he loves it.”
Noah rolls his eyes and goes back to his food.
“And you, Bailey, what do you do?” she asks, smiling kindly at him.
“I’m the grounds manager for Jake …”
I tune out the rest of the conversation.
Everything about him sets me on edge—his voice, his smile, the way he seems more confident than he used to be.
I seem to have forgotten so much about him—except for how he was in those final moments we’d spent together.
Wild. Scared. Out of control. It had been like the two years before that night just dissolved before my eyes.
Robbie asks me a question, dragging me from my memories, and I’m grateful for the mundane conversation to help me get through the rest of the meal.
An hour later I’m at the kitchen sink, scrubbing the roasting tin as I wait for Gran to find me for our little “chat”. The sound of a shoe scuffing on stone tiles comes from behind me and my shoulders tense in anticipation.
“I’ll be done in a minute, Gran.”
There’s a moment’s silence.
“Um, it’s me …” a quiet voice says.
No, no, no.
I can’t talk to him right now, not when my head’s a fucking mess. My throat tightens. “Go away,” I say, scrubbing the pan harder than before, determined to get all the burnt fat off.
“We need to talk.”
“I don’t need to do anything. You don’t get to demand anything from me anymore.”
“I’ve never demanded anything from you,” he huffs, voice getting louder.
I keep my back to him.
“I don’t know why you’re acting like this, Teddy. Would you just look at me while I’m talking to you?”
My shoulders are so tense that pain shoots across them.
I throw the tin into the sink with a clatter and grab the kitchen towel.
“What?” I ask, turning to face him, pushing down the nausea when I look into his eyes.
“What do you want to talk about, Bailey? You said you never wanted to see me again and made sure the message got through. What could you possibly want?”
His face crumples, and I could almost fool myself into thinking he looks hurt. But I’m not falling for it again. I move around him towards the kitchen door, when a tug on my jumper stops me in my tracks. I look down to find him clinging to me.
“Wait, Teddy, I never meant that, I—”
I smack his hand off and growl, “Don’t fucking touch me.”
He pulls his hands to his chest, wringing them together.
“You made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me.” I loom over him, getting as close as I can manage, testing myself to see if I can stand up to him without my chest collapsing in on itself.
“Stay away from me,” I order, shoving him backwards.
He doesn’t say a word as I wrench the kitchen door open and walk through the house to the front.
“I’m going!” I don’t wait for anyone to respond before I’m out the door and in my car, heading back to Robbie’s house alone.