Chapter 14
THEO
“Where’s Bailey?” I ask, moving to stand in front of television. Isla and Robbie both lean to the side, trying to look around me.
“Well, good morning to you too, Theo,” she deadpans. “Why do you need to know where Bailey is?”
“I need to talk to him about something.”
“Sure, because that’s just what we need, even more injuries before the wedding,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes.
My stomach turns over at the reminder. If I find out I was wrong all these years, blaming him for something he never did, then I don’t know how I’ll forgive myself.
“Shush a minute, this shit in Surrey is getting wild,” Isla says, pointing to the TV.
“ ... East Surrey Hospital said that they have a zero-tolerance policy and have suspended a member of staff based on the allegation that medical supplies had been taken without authorisation over a period of time. They will be conducting their own internal investigation. However, after toxicology reports showed traces of propofol in one of the bodies found in Banstead Woods, police are not ruling out that the two investigations may be linked.”
“I don’t give a shit about what’s going on in Surrey, Isla. Where is he?” I ask again through gritted teeth.
“Gone. You missed him,” she says, casually sipping her coffee like that one word didn’t just slice through my chest.
“Gone where?”
“There’s been issues at the office. Jake needed to go back to Cumbria to speak to his staff about the temporary manager. Bailey offered to go instead.”
“He’s gone home? How long ago did he leave?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. Richard was told like an hour ago. Apparently Jake offered Bailey the car, but he insisted on taking the train. Said he needed the time to himself to think about some things. What’s going on?”
“Text me his number and address,” I shout, already jogging up the stairs. I’m working on autopilot, practically vibrating out of my skin as I throw clothes into a bag. There’s no plan. I just need to find him.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Robbie makes me jump, standing in the doorway, arms crossed, looking far too serious.
I shake my head. This is between me and Bailey. “No, Rob. I’m good.”
“You sure?”
Zipping up my bag and throwing it over my shoulder, I turn to him.
“I need to figure something out. I’ll make sure we’re both back in time for the wedding, it’ll be fine.
” My phone dings, and I see Isla sent me Bailey’s details.
“I gotta go—can you let Luke know I’m going to be off work tomorrow and that I’ll call him when I get to Bailey’s? ”
“Of course I can.” He pulls me to a stop. “Theo, I don’t like it. If he’s the reason you were so messed up when you came back to Skye, I—”
I put a hand on his shoulder. “Stop. My head’s so fucking messed up right now, Rob. I thought Bailey did something bad, but I think I was wrong. We need to work that out together, alone.”
He frowns at me. Then, slowly, his face relaxes. “Fine, but I want a hug before you go.”
“You don’t need a hug.”
“I want a hug, Theo.”
“No.”
“Yes. Or I’ll tell Isla that you lied when you said you liked her wedding dress.”
“I did not lie! I just—” My eyes narrow. “Fine, hurry up.” I stand still and let him wrap his arms around me, squeezing me tighter than a boa constrictor. I pretend it doesn’t affect me, and that I’m not ten seconds away from hugging the clingy bastard back.
We pull apart and head out to my car, followed by Isla. As I throw my bag in the back and get into the driver's seat, I’m met with twin looks of concern. I sigh and turn the engine over. “It’ll be fine. I’ll tell you everything when I get back.”
Isla leans in through the open window, smiling sweetly. “If either of you come back with a black eye or split lip, Theo, I’ll slap you both myself.”
I frown, then put my hand on her face, shoving her away from the car. “Goodbye, Isla.”
After setting the satnav for Bailey’s home address, I pull out of Robbie’s drive and head down the A87.
Only a few minutes pass before I’m debating calling Bailey to ask how far he’s got.
I wonder whether I should warn him I’m coming, or just turn up on his doorstep.
I’m not sure if he’d turn me away after how I acted yesterday.
As I pass a bus stop, a flash of blonde hair snaps me out of my thoughts. I slam on my brakes, then reverse back. Bailey stares, wide eyed, hands gripping onto the bus stop seat.
“Get in,” I tell him.
“W-what?” He stands up hesitantly. “I need to get the bus to—”
“I know, you need to go home. I’m driving you, get in.”
He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth. I wait patiently, trying not to snap at him to just get in the fucking car. My heart is already racing at the thought of being in such close proximity to him.
Bailey finally moves; he puts his bag in the back and slides into the passenger seat. I thought I’d have several hours to myself so I could think of what I want to say to him, but now I’m drowning in the silence, unsure how to approach any of this.
“Why are you driving me?” Bailey asks, just as I finish crossing the Skye Bridge.
“We need to talk.”
I can feel his gaze burning into the side of my head, but I keep facing the road. It’s hard enough to concentrate with him sitting so close, let alone being tempted to check if his eyes are the ones from my nightmares.
“I tried to talk to you yesterday, but you wouldn't let me,” he says, voice tight.
“I couldn’t talk to you yesterday.”
He’s silent for so long that my eyes drift over to him. He’s facing away from me, staring out the window, left hand balled into a fist under his chin, and his right, bandaged up, resting on his thigh.
“I’ve done some thinking since, and I think we need to—”
“My therapist told me that I should remove myself from a situation when I feel overwhelmed.” Bailey interrupts.
“I should have left when you said you wished you’d never met me.
I knew I wasn’t in control, but I kept pushing.
I’m sorry, Teddy—I didn’t mean to scare you, but that fucking hurt.
” His voice breaks, and when I look at him, he’s staring right back at me with tears in his eyes.
“I haven’t felt like that since the night you left.
Like you shoved your hand into my chest and ripped out my heart—throwing everything back in my face like that. ”
I bristle at the accusation and turn back to face the road. “Why can’t you remember anything?” I ask through a tight jaw.
“I didn’t want to do it,” Bailey says, so quietly I almost miss it.
“Do what?”
He lifts a hand to swipe at his cheeks, and I shift in my seat, instantly uncomfortable.
My mind decides to assault me with images of a younger Bailey breaking down, crying in my arms. I had always been the one he could rely on to hold him together, and now I’m the one breaking him apart.
I try to tell myself that he broke me first, but it feels like a lie.
The truth is staring me right in the face.
I just need to piece it all together before I let myself fully pull down the walls I’ve been struggling to hold up for so long.
“I didn’t want to break up with you. Shane made me do it.”
What? “How did Shane make you break up with me?” That’s the second time he’s mentioned his brother in two days. When Bailey moved in with me, he cut contact with not just his mother, but Shane also, as far as I was aware.
“I thought that he’d hurt you.” His breathing gets louder, coming in quick bursts, until he’s gasping for air. “Pull over!” he says suddenly.
I drive another few hundred yards, then pull into a lay-by, stopping just in time as Bailey swings the door open and jumps out. He doubles over with his hands on his knees, sucking in air. A few seconds pass by as I war with myself over whether I should help him or not.
My body moves before my mind’s made up, rushing over to him, hovering by his side. Being this close to him settles me slightly, but I can’t bring myself to touch him.
“Why would he hurt me?” I ask.
Bailey rocks back, collapsing onto his arse, resting his head in his shaking hands. “He didn’t want me getting in trouble, so he said that if I didn’t break up with you and come home, he would make sure you’d never want to go near me again.”
“He what?” My jaw clenches tight. I feel my reality dissolving around me, the edges of my vision darkening.
“Why would you get into trouble?” I stare down at him, waiting for an answer, heart pounding in my chest. When he finally looks up at me and we lock eyes, I see it again—rings of gold, flaring out into a sea of blue.
Something I’d never thought too hard about when I was a kid.
I’d known he was beautiful, but I’d never paid enough attention to his face.
I saw him every day for a year, yet somehow I missed this. He was just Bailey. My Bailey.
I should have paid more attention. I should have counted his freckles every day, should have noticed the patterns in them, the curve of his lips. I should have realised that those weren’t the eyes staring back at me while I begged for my life.
I grab Bailey by his good hand and haul him up. We stand inches apart, and for the first time in a long time, I’m not scared. “Get in the car.”
I need to tell him what happened to me that night, and if what I’m thinking is correct, then it’s something he deserves to know.
Bailey gets back in the car, and I slam my door. I’m not dealing with this in a lay-by on the A595.