Chapter 15 #2
As though he can read my mind, Teddy rips his mouth from mine and sits back on his knees.
He pulls my hips so my arse is in his lap, then thrusts into me.
My vision goes white for a second, and my whole body tenses as he hits my prostate.
I yell out, and Teddy’s eyes snap to mine.
My teeth clamp down on my bottom lip, hoping to trap any other noises that try to escape.
When he realises the yell was from pleasure and not pain, his mouth curls into a wicked smile.
My stomach clenches, cock leaking. He thrusts again, hitting the same spot over and over.
“You’re doing so good, Bay,” he pants.
I shake my head. I’m not good.
“You are, mo leannan. I’ve never felt anything like this. You’re so tight and hot around my cock; I don’t know how much longer I can last.”
I wish he’d stop saying that I’m good. Guilt tries to push its way through the ecstasy, and I shut my eyes again, hot tears slipping down my cheeks.
“Shit. Have I hurt you?” Teddy stops immediately, his voice wavering. I feel him slip out of me slowly, and if I could, I would scream at him for stopping right now. I scramble upright and take his cock in one hand, tugging him towards me.
“Please,” I whine. I know I don’t deserve any of this. But I want him. I need him. I’ll deal with the consequences when they come, but no way in hell am I stopping now. I was so close.
“You want to carry on?” he asks.
I nod with determination.
“Did I hurt you?”
“N-no,” I rasp.
He looks sceptical at first, but the frown lines smooth as I hold his gaze.
Lining up his cock, he pushes back into me.
My whole body jolts and I collapse back onto the mattress, reaching up to hold on to the headboard.
My cock slaps against my stomach with every thrust. I’m so close, the feel of him inside me is like nothing I’ve felt before.
“Okay—okay, fuck. Bay, I’m close. Are you?”
“Yes,” I pant, the word clawing its way out of my throat.
Teddy wraps his fist around me and pumps in time with his thrusts—and I’m done. My body tenses, and then the dam breaks. A wave of ecstasy crashes over me. It almost feels like it’s washing away the touch of my brother and stepfather. My cock pulses, and cum shoots all over my stomach and chest.
As I start to come down from my orgasm, everything starts to feel oversensitive.
Every thrust leans towards discomfort over pleasure.
Then Teddy’s movements stutter. He hunches over me as I feel his cock pulse inside me.
He collapses onto me, chest covered in sweat, sliding against the mess of cum on mine.
His mouth goes straight to the side of my neck, kissing me, making my whole body shudder.
After a moment he gently pulls out and goes into the bathroom, coming back with a warm, wet flannel to clean us up.
He tosses it to the floor when he’s done and settles next to me, pulling the duvet over us.
We lay there in a tangle of limbs, facing one another as he strokes his thumb across my nose and cheeks, tracing my freckles.
“Bay,” he whispers. “I love you so much. You know that, right?”
It feels as though there’s a vice closing around my heart—I didn’t know that.
I want to say it back, but it won’t come out.
My breathing speeds up the more I try, and I stare at him desperately, hoping he’ll understand.
He meets my gaze, smiling nervously. The words still won’t come.
I make an undignified sound of frustration and roll onto my back, pushing the heels of my palms into my eyes.
“I know,” Teddy says, pulling my hands from my face. “Hey, I know, okay? You’ll say it back when you can. Don’t force it.” He kisses me softly, pulling me against his chest.
Eventually, the noise of his rhythmic breathing fills the room. I lie there on his chest, counting his heartbeats, and whisper weakly. “I-I love you too.”
There’s half an hour to go until Teddy finishes his shift at the coffee shop.
He only has a couple more weekends to work his notice, and then we’ll be packing up and moving to Skye.
The closer we get to it, the more nervous I feel.
I’m not sure how I’ll cope being somewhere new. If I lose control while I’m up there …
Shaking my head, I try to push the thoughts away.
It’s just the anxiety messing with me. I carry on walking down the high street towards Teddy’s work.
At the last minute, I notice a puddle and sidestep it, slamming into something hard.
When I look up, Shane’s staring back at me.
Silent, with his arms folded across his chest. “We need to talk,” he insists.
“N-no, Shane, I haven’t done anything this time.” I haven’t seen him in three months. There’s been no more blackouts—I’m sure there hasn’t been.
Desperate to get away, I push him and run. If I can just get to Teddy, then everything will be alright.
Shane grabs my arm, pulling me to a stop, then drags me down an alleyway.
“Get off!” I yell, tugging against his hold. “I haven’t done anything, I swear! I’ve been good, Shane. Get off me, please.”
He steps into me, baring his teeth. “You’re never good, Bailey. Never.”
I flinch at the accusation.
“You can’t stay with him. You know that. What the hell do you think you’re playing at?” His grip on my arm tightens, and I cry out in pain.
“I’m leaving,” I gasp out. “You’re wrong, I-It’s not me … it’s that house. I’m fine when I’m not there. I’m good with Teddy! When he goes back to Scotland, I’m … I’m going with him.”
Shane releases my arm, a flash of something on his face morphing from concern to rage, then back again. “You can’t. If something happens when you’re up there, what do you think will happen?”
I shake my head. I don’t want to think about what ifs. “I love him, Shane,” I cry.
His nostrils flare and his jaw tenses. He grabs me by the throat so fast, I can barely take a breath. I claw at his arm, but he slams me against the wall, my head bouncing off the bricks. White spots dot my vision and dizziness overwhelms me.
“You’re going to break up with him—”
“I will not!” I shout, struggling against his hold.
“You will break up with him, Bailey,” he repeats. “I swear to God, if you leave me … if you go up there and fuck up, they will arrest you. You’ll be thrown in prison, and you’ll never see the light of day again. Is that what you want? Is he worth that?”
My heartbeat pounds so hard, I swear I can hear it. I hate that he’s echoing all my doubts and fears.
“If you don’t do it, then I’ll make sure he never wants to go near you again. I’ll tell him all about your sick secrets. About what you did to Dad.”
I freeze, hands going limp where they were trying to pull him off me.
“How much will it hurt him to know he’s been fucking a psychopath.
That you’ve been lying to him for two years.
That you put his life at risk because you have no self-control.
” He puts more pressure on my throat until I can’t draw breath.
Blood rushes to my ears, and my head swims. “If you leave with him, and he ends up hurt—or worse—then you’ll have to live the rest of your life knowing you could have stopped it.
You don’t deserve him. You’ve done nothing good in your life to deserve that happy ending,” he growls.
I don’t deserve Teddy …
“Come home with me,” Shane says, releasing my neck.
I collapse to the floor, dragging in sharp, ragged breaths. “I-I can’t go back there, Shane,” I rasp. I won’t go back to a mother who hates me and a stepfather who touches me when I’m too weak to stop him.
“Then we’ll leave together,” he says, crouching so we’re eye to eye. “Just you and me; we’ll go somewhere. I’ll make sure you’re safe, and you’ll never have to worry again. You belong with me, Bailey.”
I look up at him through eyelashes heavy with tears.
Going with him isn’t an option, either. He thinks that hurting me keeps me under control, but it doesn’t.
I can’t deal with it anymore. Every punishment strips something from me, and I know if I go with him that eventually there’ll be nothing left. I’d rather be on my own.
My stomach roils like the sea in the midst of a storm as I stand in Teddy’s bedroom with my bags packed at my feet. The front door bangs closed, and I hear the thumping of Teddy’s feet as he runs up the stairs.
“Hey … what’s up?” he asks slowly, eyes darting to the bags.
Oh God. I don’t want to do this … if I open my mouth right now, all that’s going to come out is the contents of my stomach. My throat tightens painfully as I swallow.
“I-I need to talk to you,” I start, begging my voice to hold out. Teddy stays silent, staring at me. I’m sure he already knows what's about to happen. “I want … I want to end this.” I motion between the two of us. “Us … I want to end us.”
His eyes go wide at that, and I realise I’m wrong. He has no idea where this is going. Of course he doesn’t—he’s being completely blindsided. We’re happy together. Why would he ever think it would end so abruptly?
“I don’t understand … Did I do something wrong?”
No, Teddy. You did nothing wrong. It’s all me.
I clamp down on my bottom lip to stop those thoughts coming out of my mouth.
“I just can’t be with you right now. I-I don’t want to go to Scotland with you, and living—” I swallow back a sob, choking on my lies.
Blinking rapidly, trying to hold back the tears for just a little longer. “Living with you has been too much.”
“What?”
“I’m not ready! We’re only eighteen for fuck’s sake, Teddy.”
He just stands there, letting me spit vitriol, looking so calm, while I’m static in the air before a lightning strike.
I hate not knowing what’s going on in his head.
Why isn’t he fighting for me to stay? It’s a selfish thing to think—I know I’m doing this for him, but does he not care if I walk out of his life?
I take a deep breath before carrying on. “I’m not ready for all of this. I don’t … I don’t want to be with the first boy I fucked forever.” I don’t even know what’s coming out of my mouth. It’s all lies. I’m always lying to him. Ever since I first met him.
Teddy’s face crumples, finally. “You said you loved me—”
“I lied!” I yell, feeling my cheeks heat.
He flinches. “I … I don’t believe you,” he says, looking me up and down as though he can see the lies written on my skin.
I love him. More than I thought possible, and I’d choose his safety over mine, every damn time.
He’s not safe with me. I’ll never be able to tell him the truth about me without breaking us both.
At least doing it this way, he’ll be free to move on with his life.
I’ll just be that arsehole ex that broke his heart.
Broken hearts can be fixed—I can’t.
“Believe me, Teddy, I’m leaving.” I pick up my bags and try to step around him, but he puts his arm out to stop me.
“Please, Bay,” he whispers. We’re so close, I’d just have to lift my chin to kiss him one last time.
His eyes wander over my face, then go wide.
“What happened to your neck?” He hooks a finger into the turtle-neck jumper I’d stolen from him.
I grab his hand to stop him. My neck’s still tender from when Shane grabbed me.
In my panic, I shove Teddy back and he loses his balance, collapsing to the floor with a grunt.
I’m out of the house within seconds, already at the end of his driveway when I hear him.
“BAY!”
I start to run.
“BAILEY!” His voice breaks, and so does my heart right alongside it. I run as fast as I can, knowing if I stop for even a second, I’ll crawl back to him and beg for forgiveness.
And that will destroy us both.