Chapter 31
BAILEY
A low hum vibrates against the side of my neck, and I’m pulled from my sleep, floating close to the surface.
Teddy’s squeezing me so tight I can barely take a full breath.
He pushes his nose into my neck, breathing in, sending a shiver down my spine.
I wriggle against him, trying to get away from the tickle of his beard, but end up brushing against his hard cock.
His hand stroking along my hip pauses, and he grips me hard when I grind my bare arse against him.
“What time is it?” I mumble.
“Ten. You slept like a rock.” He kisses the underside of my jaw, continuing to rub his beard all over me. My morning wood aches, feeling tight and oversensitive. I clasp my hand around it, pumping a few times to take the edge off.
“What are you doing?” Teddy asks, lifting the duvet. “Are you needy, Bay?” His large, rough hand replaces mine, as he grinds his erection between my arse cheeks.
“Fuck, Teddy,” I groan.
“Roll over,” he whispers in my ear. I feel him move away, and when I turn around, he’s on his back, the duvet pushed off.
His stiff cock lying against his stomach, twitching as he reaches for me.
He pulls me onto his lap and cups my arse, digging his fingers into my flesh, dragging me along his body until our cocks grind against one another.
A deep rumble comes from the back of his throat as he thrusts up against me at the same time.
“Use me,” he says on a breath.
“What?” I lean against his pecs to brace myself.
“Make yourself cum.” He squeezes my arse again, forcing my hips to work, and I rub myself against him, stomach tensing as the friction pulls me deeper.
One of his hands wraps around our lengths and tightens, while the other runs up my hip and side until it’s on my pec.
He pinches my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and I gasp, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Do you want to cum?” he says softly. When I open my eyes, he’s looking up at me through hooded eyelids, cock throbbing against mine. Every time I thrust, my foreskin rolls down and my head catches on his.
“I’m—I’m close,” I pant.
He starts to pump us, jaw clenching as he groans, “Cum on me, Bay, I want to feel it, give it to me.”
A few more thrusts and I’m done. I arch my back as cum shoots across his stomach and chest.
“Fuck,” he moans, letting me slide my softening cock out from his fist. He strokes himself a couple more times and then his whole body shudders, ropes of cum shooting up his body, mixing with mine.
He barely has time to catch his breath as I lean down to kiss him, trapping his bottom lip between my teeth.
My mind is blissfully empty—it’s just him and me. No one can separate us again.
Once we’ve calmed down, we take turns in the shower and get dressed. I put on his tracksuit bottoms and hoodie again because even though I have my own clothes here, I like the way his are slightly too big. His smell is so deeply ingrained in the fabric, it feels like he’s holding me.
He lifts the lid of the cedarwood chest at the end of his bed and starts rooting around inside. He used to have one when he lived in Surrey, too. “She’s still knitting you jumpers?”
“Yeah, every birthday. Pretty sure I have thirty. Ma kept all the ones Gran made when I was a baby, and I haven’t got rid of any since I moved back to Skye, so there are thirteen in here.
” Pausing, he squints at me. “Actually, there are twelve. My ex-boyfriend ran off with the one I got for my eighteenth birthday.”
I feel hot all of a sudden, remembering I’d picked it up from the bed as I packed my things the day I dumped him. He’d worn it a couple of days in a row, and it smelled of him. “That’s not funny,” I mutter, my throat tightening at the memory. “I still have it.”
He finally pulls out a dark green cable-knit. “You do?”
“Yeah. I can send it back to you when I get home,” I say, trying to ignore the pain I feel at the thought of leaving him.
“You can keep it … but maybe the next time I see you, you should wear it.”
The next time … I swallow, not wanting to hope for that.
This is already more than I could have ever hoped for—finding him again, fixing things between us and having a few days alone together.
I’m not sure how things would even work once our lives settle back into their normal routines, or whether I’m getting ahead of myself thinking Teddy would even want more.
“I want to take you out for the day,” he says, cutting through my thoughts. “Some fresh air might do us good.”
I side-eye him. “I’m not climbing trees.”
“Why would we—” He groans, rolling his eyes. “It was one time.”
“You almost killed yourself.”
He scoffs. “I did not almost kill myself.”
“Looked like it from where I was standing,” I say, grinning.
“From what I recall, that day ended pretty well for both of us.” He smirks, grabbing my waist, pulling me in for a kiss. It’s short and sweet, with an ease so familiar it steals my breath away.
“Come on, we’re going to the Fairy Pools.”
We traverse stepping stones and planks as we follow the trail along the stream.
There’s a slight chill on the breeze today, and by the look of the grey skies, the weather might be on the turn.
I’m so busy concentrating on where I’m treading that I jump when Teddy slips his warm hand into mine.
There are groups of people walking all around us, but when I look at Teddy, he doesn’t seem bothered by the public display of affection.
“Are you out?” I ask cautiously. When we went to the pub, Isla and Robbie didn’t know that Teddy was queer, yet out here he doesn’t seem to care that everyone can see us.
He frowns at me, then looks down at our hands. “I haven’t exactly come out to anyone other than my parents, but it’s not because I’m closeted; I just don’t date men.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t really date anyone, actually. I’ve tried over the years, but it never works out.
” He pulls me to the side to let two kids run past. “I dated one woman for a year when I was twenty-five, but we both agreed it wasn’t working and split up amicably.
The other women I dated, it either didn’t work out, or they didn’t like to wait. ”
“Wait for what?” I ask as I continue to walk, jumping unsteadily from one stone to another to avoid a large puddle, gripping Teddy’s hand for stability.
“It takes me a while to feel comfortable enough to be intimate,” he says, cheeks tinged pink.
“You like to wait before having sex?”
“Kind of. If I don’t have strong feelings for them, then I can’t.” He stares straight ahead, refusing to look at me. “I’ve forced myself before, but I don’t like it.”
“How come you haven’t dated men since, you know …” I trail off, not wanting to mention our breakup again. “Would it make a difference?”
“No. I tried once and it was a shit show. I freaked out on him when he tried to kiss me goodnight, and then he called me frigid, got in his car and drove off.” He shrugs it off, like it wasn’t a dick move.
“After what happened in Surrey, I didn’t feel safe being alone with men anyway, so after that, I didn’t try again. "
My mind paints a vivid picture of Teddy tied up in that shed, with Shane holding a knife to his throat. I see red, hating that my brother affected him so badly. I squeeze Teddy’s hand tight, and he winces.
“It’s fine, Bay. I liked being on my own. Pretty sure I have the world’s lowest sex drive, anyway.”
“What? You absolutely do not have a low sex drive,” I scoff.
Back when we started dating, as soon as he discovered the wonders of a blowjob, he was insatiable.
And over the past two days, he’s initiated everything without hesitation.
None of it felt forced. All of this reminds me of something Noah mentioned once.
“Have you heard of the term demisexual before?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“It means that you need to be emotionally close to someone before you start to feel sexual attraction for them. If you don’t trust the person you’re dating, then it makes sense you wouldn’t feel any desire to take things further.”
I’m pulled to a stop, and when I turn, Teddy’s standing there, looking perplexed.
“That makes sense, I guess,” he says. “I didn’t know there was a word for it.”
“I think the fact people are being more open about their sexuality now is helping them realise they’re not alone in how they feel. It definitely wasn’t talked about when we were kids.”
“No. Even back then, I wondered why Robbie was running around like a rampant rabbit, and I was happy to just be by myself.” He tugs on my arm, pulling me close. “Until you, of course. It’s always easy with you.”
My stomach flutters as I look into his eyes and realise the implication of the last few days—he trusts me again.
“What about you, anyway?” Teddy asks, brushing a stray curl behind my ear. “Did you date much?”
There’s really not much to say about that.
Living twenty years thinking you could suddenly black out and hurt someone, or worse, is enough to dampen any sexual appetite I may have had.
I’d never taken a risk like I had with Teddy again.
“Not dating … um, a few hookups.” I swallow, feeling embarrassed all of a sudden.
“When I started therapy they put me on antidepressants, and it messed with everything. I either couldn’t get it up, or couldn’t finish when I did, so I’ve been single for a while.
Came off the pills a couple of years ago, but I felt a little out of the game by that point. ”
Teddy leans in, breath tickling my ear as he says, “I don’t think that’s an issue anymore.”
“Apparently not,” I mutter, as my stomach tightens.
His phone dings, startling us both. He pulls away to check it, and I watch as his eyes widen. “What is it?”
He turns the phone around to show me a picture of us on the dance floor; Teddy crowding over me, my back bending slightly as he cups my face. “Who …? Why would they upload that?” I splutter.