Chapter 44
BAILEY - FOUR MONTHS LATER
“How’s the office coming along?” Teddy asks as he prepares some sandwiches.
The last month has been spent getting everything set up at the new office, and there’s been a lot of driving back and forth between Skye and Cumbria.
Much to my annoyance. I don’t like leaving Teddy for long, and every time I go, I feel sick, like I’m never going to see him again.
“It’s coming …” I mutter, walking over to him and giving him a kiss.
“Do you need to go back again soon?”
“No, that should be it. If there’s anything left, then Noah can bring it up when he visits next.”
Teddy stops making his sandwich and grabs me around the waist before I can walk away, pulling me back against him, my hand getting trapped between us. “Good, I miss you when you’re gone.”
The tips of my ears heat up as I feel his voice rumble in his chest. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He grins at me, hands slipping down to my arse, squeezing.
I push him away and run, adrenaline coursing through my veins as he chases me up the stairs.
We stumble into the bedroom, pulling at one another's clothes as we go. Teddy’s mouth is everywhere: biting at my lips, sucking at my neck, working his way down my body until he gets to my hips.
He drags my briefs down, kissing the tip of my hard cock softly as his hands stroke over my scars.
My knees buckle and I go limp, gripping onto his shoulders to hold myself up.
He sucks me into the heat of his mouth, and my toes curl at how tight it is.
“Fuck, Teddy,” I moan as he bobs up and down along my length, over and over, until he pulls off to suck my balls into his mouth, one after the other, making my stomach tighten and my thighs tense from trying to control myself.
When he comes back up, we’re chest-to-chest, and I can feel his heart thumping just as erratically as mine.
I grab his hand and walk backwards towards the bed until my legs brush against it.
I take a deep breath, making a decision—one I’ve thought about a lot recently.
I slide backwards, pulling Teddy with me.
His brow furrows, but he puts a knee up on the bed anyway, climbing on with me.
I pull him until he’s pressing his weight down on top of me.
Teddy’s legs weave between mine, and his cock presses against my hip as he rests some of his weight on one elbow. I hold my breath, waiting to see if I’ll panic from being caged in. I never take my eyes off his, feeling the length of his body—how it fits against mine.
I’m safe here.
It’s just Teddy.
He won’t hurt me.
“Like this,” I say quietly, spreading my legs so that he can move between them.
“Yeah?” he asks, eyes slightly wide.
“Yeah.”
Teddy leans down and presses his lips to mine, running his tongue along my bottom lip, teasing the entrance before slipping it inside to tangle with mine.
My cock throbs, pushing against his in response.
He pulls away, reaching into the bedside drawer to grab the lube, then squirts some on his fingers.
I suck in a breath when he pushes against my hole, rubbing circles until it gives. He works me open while kissing my neck, and I writhe on the bed, relief washing over me—I don’t feel trapped this time. I can lie here and let him take care of me, just like he used to.
Teddy sits back on his knees, lining himself up. “Still okay?” he asks, brow creased in concern.
“I’m good,” I say, voice coming out husky. He goes to push forward, but I quickly sit up and put a hand on his chest. “Wait—your leg. Can you … are you okay to?”
“I’ve been cleared for exercise. I’m fine, Bay.”
I lie back down, and he slowly pushes inside me, lighting up my nerves as he bottoms out. I squeeze his forearms and hold on as he pulls out of me again, then back in. He does it again, and everything is so slow and controlled—I can’t stand it.
“Teddy,” I whine.
“What’s wrong, mo leannan?” he asks, barely hiding the laughter in his voice.
“Please.” I grip his arse, pulling him into me again, making my whole body light up.
“You like the feel of my cock buried deep inside you, Bay?”
I nod repeatedly as he picks up speed.
He hooks his elbows under my knees and leans over me, whispering in my ear. “Want me to fuck you hard?”
“Y-yes.”
He pulls back then slams back into me, and my back arches as I cry out. He does it again and again, deliberately controlled yet forceful, hitting my prostate every time. His mouth latches onto my neck and sucks there, teeth nipping until pain mixes with pleasure.
I’m getting close. Every time he moves his stomach rubs against my cock. All I can do is lie here, body loose, mind gone as he drags me closer to the edge.
“Think you can cum for me? I’m barely holding on here,” he chuckles, nipping my bottom lip.
“Faster,” I say, putting my hands under my lower back to tilt my arse up.
He slides in deeper, and I pant as he speeds up.
“I’m close, Teddy; I want to feel you cum in me,” I plead.
He grunts against my mouth as his cock pulses inside me.
His orgasm sets me off, and I feel my cum flood between us as our chests glide against one another.
He continues to move slowly in and out as he softens, tongue languidly exploring my mouth.
When he finally pulls out, he goes to stand up, but loses his balance. I scramble out of the bed and force him to lie down. “What are you doing?”
“I was getting something to clean you up,” he says quietly, rubbing around his scar.
“I can do that,” I huff, going to the bathroom to grab a flannel. “You overdid it, didn’t you?” I ask as I throw it to him.
“No,” he says, avoiding looking at me.
“Are you lying to me?”
He peeks up at me through his dark curls. “Yes …”
“You need to rest.”
“But I want my sandwich,” he says, trying to get off the bed again.
“I’ll get the bloody sandwich, just stay still.
” I shove him back and head to the kitchen.
I’m surprised he’s got as much mobility back as he has.
Trying to force the man to rest has been a nightmare over the past few months.
There have been mood swings and arguments in between all the soft moments, and yet I’ll happily put up with his grumpy arse for the rest of my life now that he’s mine again.
“Teddy?” I call out, looking in the living room for him. I slept like a log and didn’t notice him get out of bed, but now I can’t find him anywhere in the house. My palms sweat, and prickles go up my spine as I open the back door. “Teddy?” I shout.
I try to stay calm, banging the Wellington boots upside down against the wall before sliding them on and grabbing my coat.
It’s four in the morning, and the air is frigid as I step outside.
I make my way across the fields, hopping over stiles and avoiding sheep as I go, until I finally get to the back field where I spot Heather and Rosie lounging about.
As I get closer, I find Teddy wedged between the two of them, fast asleep.
“Teddy, get up.” I shake his shoulder. He groans, batting my hand away.
“Come on, it’s not warm enough to sleep out here. ”
His eyes flutter open, and he rubs his face. “Sorry, I had a nightmare.”
I hold my hand out to help him up. “You should have woke me up.”
“It’s fine. I’m used to them. I like to come down to see the girls anyway,” he says, stroking Heather’s nose.
I don’t know why it didn’t click last time, maybe because I was in a spiral of my own, but now I realise why he said they calm him. “You ground yourself,” I mutter.
“I what?”
“You use the cows to ground yourself. They break the cycle of anxiety, which helps you to calm down.”
“I haven’t heard of that before.”
I’ve been thinking for a while now that I should bring this up with him. We talk about how we’re feeling and about what happened with Shane quite a lot. Neither of us wants to keep things locked up inside again, but I know that’s not enough. “Have you been to therapy at all?” I ask carefully.
“No. I didn’t need therapy. I don’t need therapy. It was all getting better. Just … these past few months, it’s like I’m right back where I started.”
“Everything’s heightened again? The nightmares, the mood swings … flashbacks?”
“Yes.”
“Noah made me start therapy when I was twenty-five because I was yelling out in my sleep and would keep him up all night. It took a lot of persuading, but I did it. I told her about my relationship with my mum, and about what Dean did to me, but I was too scared to tell her anything about Shane because I thought I’d get in trouble.
” I reach out to stroke Heather, flexing my fingers in her undercoat.
“Even without telling her about Shane, I was told I had complex post-traumatic stress disorder.”
“PTSD?” Teddy asks quietly.
“Yeah, but as it was going on for years, it became a little more complicated. Both are the result of trauma, and Teddy, what Shane did to you was traumatic, even before he stabbed you. You get that, right?” The expression on his face cuts right through me.
He still hasn’t told his family about what happened to him in Surrey.
Kept it all inside for years, and now he’s realising that what I’m saying is making sense.
I’ve been there too. I didn’t understand how everything that happened in my childhood was leaving more than physical scars, and I didn’t want to admit that even when I was free of my family, my body still didn’t register that I was safe.
“It’s nothing like what he did to you, though. He was just trying to scare me.”
“No, Teddy. He was trying to kill you,” I say sternly, because I think he’s still not realising the severity of it all. I step close to him and cup his face. “Now I’m here for good, I want to try and find a therapist in Portree. Maybe … maybe you’d want to come with me to check it out?”
He blinks slowly, then bends down to kiss me gently. “I can try.”