15. Ruby
True to her word, Ruby slips out of Dexter’s apartment before dawn, leaving him with a lingering kiss and no words. He texts her while she’s in the Uber that’s taking her back to her hotel, and his words are few and sweet: Let me meet you before you leave New York. Please.
Ruby sets the phone in her lap and looks out the window at the gray, rainy morning. It’s Wednesday, and people hurry along the sidewalks in overcoats. Most of them are carrying briefcases and clutching the ubiquitous accessory of the office worker on a mission: a paper cup of coffee to go.
She knows that meeting Dexter is inviting complication into her life during a time when she can scarcely afford to do so, but it seems wrong to have spent the night with him and left without a proper goodbye, so Ruby gives in.
There’s a cafe in the lobby of my hotel. I’ll meet you there at six o’clock. My flight is at nine.
Banks is awake and ready for the day when Ruby calls his room, and he agrees to knock on her door in one hour, giving her time to shower and drink a whole pot of coffee while she gets ready.
“Shall we?” Banks asks, looking Ruby up and down when she finally opens the door to her hotel room. She’s tired from the short night of sleep, but wired from the coffee, and she smiles distractedly.
“Come in,” Ruby says. She’s moving around the room, picking things up from the bedside table and shoving them into her crossbody purse. She’s dressed in a pair of black leather pants, a black hip-length wool coat, and a black cashmere turtleneck with black ankle boots.
“Who died?” Banks nods at her outfit.
“It’s New York, Banks. Black is never wrong.” Ruby tosses a tube of lipstick into her purse, zips it up, and puts the strap over her head. “Let’s roll.”
When they get to the Graham Academy in Brooklyn, Carmela is already waiting outside, smiling and laughing as she chats with two other mothers who have clearly just dropped their children off for the day. Ruby admires the carefree, assured way that the women all stand around in their yoga pants and puffer jackets, hair slicked back, Ugg boots on their feet. They seem to know exactly who they are and what their day will consist of. They wave goodbye to Carmela as Ruby watches, and she notices that Carmela is not dressed in the uniform of a School Drop-off Mom, but rather in a black floral dress with knee-high brown leather boots and a matching leather jacket. She has her makeup on, and she raises a hand in greeting as Ruby and Banks step out of the car.
“Carmela,” Ruby says, approaching her and giving her a light hug. “This is Banks. Officially he’s my Secret Service agent, but he’s been living on Shipwreck Key as long as I have, and the nature of our relationship has shifted a little.” Ruby is looking at Banks as she says this, and he keeps a steady, calm smile on his face. “Banks, this is Carmela. She and her children were close friends of my mother’s.”
Carmela offers a hand to shake, and as she does, she glances at Ruby like so many people do. “Oh, shoot. Can we shake hands?” she asks, wincing as he takes her much smaller hand in his. “I don’t know about the protocol here. My bad.”
“Protocol is fluid at this point,” Banks says, giving her a reassuring nod. “Trust me. Ruby and I have made our own rules.”
Ruby is aware as she watches them that perhaps Carmela is thinking that she and Banks have a much closer, much more personal relationship than that of First Lady and Secret Service agent, and she has no idea why she wants Carmela to know the truth, but something in her pushes her to speak up. “When Banks started dating my best friend, we basically decided to throw out the rule book altogether,” she says with a laugh.
Carmela’s appraising look changes. “Gotcha,” she says, putting her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. Her long, auburn hair is full and wavy and it hangs halfway down her back. “Shall we go in and have a look around? The kids should already be in their classes.”
Ruby smiles and nods. “Absolutely.” She’s decided that she’ll go wherever this day takes her, and that her mother would clearly want her to get to know Carmela and the kids, to see and to understand why she herself had gotten so involved with these people who, to Ruby at least, are perfect strangers. “Lead the way.”
Inside the Graham Academy, everything gleams as if it has been recently polished. The wooden floors look newly finished, the water fountains have no fingerprints, and the walls look as though they’ve recently received a fresh coat of paint. The overall effect is one of pride, of competence, and of seriousness. The interior says “We care about education and making a solid impression,” not “We’ll take your tuition money and buy expensive office furniture.”
Ruby looks around as they walk, their footsteps echoing through the empty halls. “This is very impressive,” she says. “I’m sure my mother would have loved it.”
“She did,” Carmela confirms, opening a door and guiding Ruby into the main office. “Let’s check in with the principal, and then I have free reign to show you around and take you wherever you want to go.”
Ruby frowns. “Is that okay?” she whispers. “In this day and age, are strangers allowed to roam around a school unsupervised?”
Carmela leans in closer to Ruby and whispers back, her face pulled into a mask of mock-seriousness. “People know you, Ruby. You’re not a stranger. And I’m guessing that Banks has a fairly high level of clearance himself.”
Ruby blushes; she’s forgotten once again that she will be recognized wherever she goes. It’s been easy to do that since moving to Shipwreck Key, and in a way, it’s been a huge blessing for Ruby to just be able to blend back into the world around her—at least in her mind, if not in reality.
Once they all have lime green Visitor badges affixed to their chests, Carmela leads Ruby and Banks to the science lab, where Marcos and the other sixth-graders are intently formulating a compound and taking serious notes on their progress. When he spots them, Marcos gives them a lopsided smile and a wave, then goes back to measuring and working with his lab partners.
“Our science department has graduated kids who’ve gone on to top medical programs around the world, and each year for the past decade we’ve won national awards for our cutting-edge scientific research and projects.” Carmela leads them over to a modest trophy case that holds various plaques and statues, pointing at a gold figure of a girl holding a beaker in one hand. “We have an extremely strong and active Women in STEM program, and the majority of our female students participate in STEM classes and projects at some point during their academic career at Graham,” Carmela says proudly. She glances back at her son, who is hard at work on his lab work. “Marcos wants to become a doctor and find a cure for dementia.” Her eyes grow misty as she watches him. “My dad was diagnosed five years ago and died in the spring. I think it really affected Marcos.”
Ruby blinks in surprise. “Your dad had dementia? So did my grandfather—Patty’s dad. He died when I was in my thirties.”
Carmela smiles sadly as she meets Ruby’s eye. “I know. It was yet another thing that Patty and I had in common. When my dad got sick, she was right there by my side, offering words of wisdom and comfort. She knew what questions to ask the doctors, and what kind of help I should be offering my mom.”
Of course she would have done all that, Ruby thinks. Patty had clearly spent a lot of time and energy on this friendship, and rather than thinking it strange that her mother’s closest friend had been a woman younger than Ruby, it’s starting to make sense how they’d fit together and supported one another.
Ruby pulls herself together and focuses. “And how is your mom?” she asks, still watching Carmela’s face.
“She’s still living in their house in Puerto Rico. She’s come to visit a couple of times, but I can’t convince her to move to New York. Too busy. Bad weather. Her friends are there.” Carmela waves a hand through the air. “But it’s fine. As long as she’s healthy and doing her thing there, I can keep my own life afloat here.”
They move on to the special education wing of the building, where kids are in blended classes of students with higher levels of need and those who are functioning at their academic level. There is a room for nonverbal autistic students, and they find Felix in there, building a tower out of blocks of every size and color.
“Hi, baby,” Carmela says, sinking to her knees in front of her son. “How is your day?”
Felix doesn’t look at her directly, but it’s clear from the look on his face that he hears and senses his mother’s presence. A smile spreads across his round cheeks and he proudly stacks three more blocks.
“This is where Felix spends a fair amount of time,” Carmela says. “Graham Academy has one of the strongest and most inclusive programs for autistic students, and he’s really grown here. I can’t even imagine where he’d be educationally if he wasn’t here.”
They look around the space, admiring the student artwork that hangs on the walls, and they stop to have a conversation with one of the teachers who asks very shyly and politely if she can get a picture with Ruby.
After posing for the photo, they move on to the gym, where Valeria’s second grade class is playing volleyball over a lowered net. The kids don’t seem to notice—or care—that the former First Lady is watching them, but Valeria waves excitedly with both hands, jumping up and down with glee as she steps up to serve while her mother watches. Every child in the gym is dressed neatly in navy blue shorts and white polo shirts, and Ruby notices that they take turns and speak in kind voices to one another.
“When your child is accepted to Graham,” Carmela says, leaning slightly in Ruby’s direction, “you’re required to sign an agreement about electronics. Children are not to be sent to school with phones or Apple watches, and if they are, parents agree that they office can confiscate them for the day and lock them up. There’s a zero-tolerance policy for breaking rules, as Graham Academy is strongly based on the idea that kids do need to be able to foster creativity and independence, but also that they need to learn how to function in society. One of the basic tenets of this school is that we’ve moved too far away from a community-based society and too much in the direction of individuality, which leaves us disconnected from one another and unable or unwilling to work together to improve all of our lives. I stand by that wholeheartedly.”
“I’m impressed,” Ruby says, watching as Valeria spikes the ball. She’s focused on the game, but still beams at them every minute or so. “I’ve seen a lot of schools and toured a lot of educational programs, but this school has very high standards.”
“Your mother helped me get the kids in here,” Carmela says, her eyes on her daughter as she changes positions on the court. “She could sense that my life was falling apart at the seams, and she said the first thing I needed to do was to make sure that my kids were on the right path. And she was absolutely correct. As soon as I had things moving forward for them, I was able to work on myself.”
Carmela leads them out of the gym and towards the front of the school again. “If you have the time, Ruby, I’d love to take you to my office.”
“I’m at your disposal today,” Ruby says with a smile. She’s feeling a little rundown, but she knows that’s her own fault for staying with Dexter all night, and she’s determined to muster as much energy as it takes to get to know Carmela.
It’s a short taxi ride to an office building with a plain brick exterior. Inside, a bank of elevators greets them and Carmela ushers them to the fourth floor.
“Welcome to Hibiscus,” Carmela says, opening a glass door that’s emblazoned with a white hibiscus flower. “It’s really a women’s legal aid program, but your mom and I thought Hibiscus was a prettier name for it to go by than Women’s Legal Aid.”
Ruby frowns as they stand in the middle of a fairly nondescript lobby. She suddenly remembers the blown glass hibiscus flower she’d found in her mother’s house in Santa Barbara. “Why hibiscus?”
“It’s the national flower of Puerto Rico.” Carmela smiles. “Come on, let me show you around.”
Banks takes a seat in the lobby as Ruby follows Carmela through a maze of hallways and they stop to greet several people. Ruby shakes hands with them all, and a picture of what Hibiscus has to do with her mother grows clearer with each interaction.
“Patty Dallarosa was our hero,” a woman with a tight, black bun at the nape of her neck says. She wears no makeup, but giant gold hoop earrings. “She started the whole program with Carmela as a way for women in need to get free legal advice and assistance.”
Ruby looks around, taking in the black and white photos of laughing children that hang on the walls. “My mother did this?”
The woman with the black bun looks at her disbelievingly. “She never told you about this place?” She rears back slightly, looking shocked. “Huh. She was very proud of Hibiscus. Threw a number of fundraisers in New York over the past few years—even when she got sick.”
Ruby shakes her head slowly. “No,” she says. “She didn’t tell me. I don’t know why…this is very impressive. I’m so proud of her.”
The woman with the bun shrugs. “She always said that women with children needed so much more than society gave them. Support, assistance, and protection. One of our most vulnerable populations are women who have kids to feed. They get desperate. They make legal concessions to the men in their lives that do not benefit them or their children. Patty wanted to fix that.”
“Who gives the legal aid?”
“Lawyers in Patty’s personal network. She connected us with various attorneys who could give both advice and would do pro bono work. I can’t even tell you how many women she’s helped with this program.”
Ruby is impressed beyond words, and in fact, for a moment she has no words, just awe. She continues to shake her head. “Thank you so much for bringing me here,” she says to Carmela. “And for working with my mother on this project. What’s your title here?”
“I’m the Program Manager,” Carmela says with obvious pride. “I keep this ship afloat. Run the office, meet with the lawyers. I can be on hand to talk to the women who come in for aid, and with your mother, I planned all of our fundraising events. I’m very proud of our work, and she set up the organization so that I can work here until I retire. It’s been one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, running a place where women feel safe and heard.”
“I can imagine,” Ruby says, blinking back tears. She’s so impressed by all of it.
“Let’s go into my office,” Carmela says.
“It was lovely to meet you,” Ruby says to the woman with the bun. She follows Carmela into a simple office with a small window that looks out onto the street four stories below.
“Please, sit.” Carmela motions to a chair on the opposite side of her desk and then sits in her own. “I wanted you to see the world that Patty helped me to build. It’s so important to me that you understand our friendship, and that she did all these things for me and my children out of the generosity of an extremely big heart.”
“I hope you don’t think that I would do anything to take this away from you,” Ruby says. “Her will is fairly ironclad anyway, but I firmly believe that my mother had the right to do whatever she wanted to do with her resources and her estate. I’m completely fine with her choices. I want to say that up front.”
Carmela gives a single nod and now she’s the one who looks like she might cry. “Thank you for that. I know I didn’t earn any of this, but I feel blessed by the gift of her friendship and love. Even if I had to move out of the apartment today, and even if there was no way to pay for them to stay on at Graham, I know I’d find a way to take care of my kids and to flourish. Because the most important thing that Patty taught me is to believe. I believe in myself, I believe in life, I believe in hard work. I believe in the goodness of people. She gave me that.”
Ruby stands up and walks around the desk, standing in front of a surprised Carmela, who eventually stands as well. The women embrace. “She gave me that too,” Ruby says into Carmela’s shoulder as they hug. “You have no idea how much of who I am is because of that woman.” Ruby takes a step back so that they’re looking at one another, tears streaming down both of their faces. “A woman who lost her husband unexpectedly stepped up and raised a little girl, showing her how to kick ass and take names. Everything I’ve done is because my mother made me think it was possible.”
“You are an impressive woman, Ruby Hudson,” Carmela says, wiping away her own tears with the pads of her thumbs. “And she loved you dearly. She spoke about you all the time—mostly stories about you as a girl.”
Ruby smiles at this image. “She was a proud mother, for sure. And a proud grandmother. I miss her all the time. It’s still weird that she’s not here.” Ruby frowns briefly. “And weird how little it seems I actually knew about her.”
“You knew the important things,” Carmela says firmly. “You knew she was smart, brave, strong, funny, and good. The rest of it is just gravy.”
Ruby laughs at this. “Well, there’s a helluva lot of gravy,” she says, glancing around at the office space to indicate some of the things that she’d never known about. “So much that I’m learning about only now that she’s gone.”
“Keep going,” Carmela says. She gives Ruby a long look. “Keep learning. Even when they’re gone, our parents can still teach us.”
“You’re right,” Ruby says. “You are so right.” She takes a long, deep breath and composes herself. “Thank you for letting me into your world for the day. I know that I have nothing to say or do with any of this, but I’m so happy to know that Patty loved you and your kids, and now I know why.”
“Come again, will you?” Carmela asks genuinely. “Come visit—any time. There’s room for you in the apartment if you want to stay with us, and I promise you’ll get tons of attention from my kids next time.” She blushes as she realizes that she’s just asked the former First Lady to crash in her apartment with three kids. “Or you can stay somewhere nicer and we’ll show you around the city.”
“I’d love to stay with you,” Ruby says, reaching out for Carmela’s hand. “I’d be honored. But for now, I have to finish this journey and find out the rest of the story.”
“Texas?” Carmela asks.
Ruby nods. “Texas. I have a flight this evening.”
Carmela looks into her eyes as they stand there, sharing a moment of reverence for the woman who did so much for both of them.
“Safe travels, Ruby. I hope to see you soon.”
“You will,” Ruby promises. “You will.”
Dexter is sitting in the cafe when Ruby rolls her suitcase across the lobby. She’s sent Banks to have a beer in the bar and to watch the Yankees game that’s playing on the big screen in there.
“Hi,” Ruby says breathlessly, setting her case next to the chair across from Dexter’s.
He stands and leans in, kissing her lightly on one cheek. Even after all this time, in public he is a perfect gentleman, always aware of how it might look if they’re spotted kissing or being overly demonstrative with one another.
They sit in their chairs and Dexter orders a pot of tea for them to share.
“I think this is good,” he says. Dexter is watching her across the table, hands laced together. “You doing this trip is good for you, and us taking our time is wise.”
Ruby waits for the barista in her black cotton apron to set the tea and two cups and saucers on the table. When she retreats, Ruby looks right at Dexter.
“I do agree, but I feel like I’ve been waiting forever to talk things out, and waiting longer is hard.” Ruby pours a packet of sugar into her cup of tea and stirs. “I don’t want to wait. I’m ready to hear what you have to say.”
Dexter’s nostrils flare slightly as he inhales. He doesn’t look angry, just conflicted. “I hear you, and believe me, I want to grab you and kiss you and take you home with me for another night—or forever—but I still think this trip is something you need to complete without me mucking it up.”
Ruby ignores the fact that Dexter has insinuated that he might muck anything up, because he’s essentially told her everything that she wants to hear: that he wants to hold her, kiss her, love her, be with her. She smiles, and tears of happiness prick at the backs of her eyes.
“So…you don’t want to tell me that it’s over between us?”
“Ruby, it was never over between us. You got really in your head about the notion that I needed or wanted someone who could give me children, and yeah, of course that’s something worth thinking about, but it’s never been the issue that my heart hinges on. I’m someone who believes far more in love and happiness in the now. After all, no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. And you make me happy today.”
Dexter reaches across the table subtly and takes Ruby’s hand in his. He winds his fingers through hers and they hold one another’s gaze, forgetting for a moment that other people are there and that anyone could be watching and taking notes on the love life of the former First Lady. In fact, Ruby pushes it from her mind altogether, because she honestly doesn’t care. Her life is hers now, and she gets to live it however she wants to.
“You make me happy today too,” she says in a voice that’s almost a whisper.
Dexter holds her hand tightly as he leans forward. “Then go and do what you need to do, and let’s spend Christmas together—can you do that? Maybe you could come here and we could do Christmas in New York?”
Ruby’s face falls. “I’d love to,” she says. “I would, but I’ve already invited Helen Pullman and her husband down for the holidays, and both Athena and Harlow will be there as well. Do you think you can come to Shipwreck?”
Dexter’s mouth quirks in a half-smile. “I think that could be arranged,” he says. “But let’s worry about details in a few of weeks. Right now, you need to hit the road again. And you have your mom’s memorial to do as well.”
“I do,” Ruby confirms. She nods grimly. “All of this discovery I’m doing right now is kind of keeping my mom alive for me, and I’m worried that actually holding a memorial for her will be my first realization that she’s truly gone. I’ve kept myself on the move here, and that makes it easier for me to forget.”
Dexter is still holding her hand and looking at her pensively. “I heard something once that I think is true,” he says. “I might be paraphrasing slightly, but the idea that we only have a relationship with someone while they’re alive is all wrong. Our relationship doesn’t die with them, it just changes. It shifts.”
Ruby thinks about this. “You’re so right,” she says. “My dad has been gone for almost forty years and while I miss him and I mourn the relationship I might have had with him as an adult, I do still have a relationship with him in some ways. Part of who I am is because of him, and the fact that he loved me as much as he did really informed my entire life.”
“And the same goes for Patty,” Dexter says.
Ruby is having a hard time holding back her tears now. She nods. “Hey,” she says, squeezing his hand and jiggling it a bit on the table to let him know she’s changing topics. “What about the book? We haven’t talked about it at all lately. Where do things stand?”
Dexter lets go of her hand and pulls his leather satchel from the back of his chair, where it’s been hanging. “Actually, I have the first five chapters here for you,” he says, sliding out a manila folder and setting it on the table between them. “I could have just emailed it, but I wanted to print it out for you so that you could read it and write on it or mark it up however you see fit.”
Ruby stares at the file on the table. This is the first five chapters of the book she and Dexter have been working on for more than a year now. It’s the culmination of their discussions, her tears, their heart-to-hearts, and everything that Ruby wanted to say about Jack. This book was also the source of her separation from Dexter, if she’s being honest, as they’d grown so close that he lost his ability to be objective and his editor had some real concerns about whether or not he’d be able to deliver a biography about President Hudson while he was falling in love with Ruby.
“I’m looking forward to reading it,” Ruby says carefully. She slides the folder towards her and holds it in her hands. It’s heavy with the weight of Dexter’s words, and she knows that this book has cost both of them in many ways, while also bringing them to each other. She would go through it all again just for the chance to have met Dexter. “Thank you.”
Dexter is looking at her seriously, watching her as she holds the folder in her hands. “Getting a little space and perspective while I worked on this was necessary, Ruby. I’m sorry if my leaving hurt you, but I really think the book is going to be better for it. I’m eager to know what you think.”
Ruby slips it into her shoulder bag and stands. “I should probably grab Banks and get to the airport,” she says. “Austin awaits, and if it’s anything like the rest of this trip has been, I’m about to find out some things about my mother that I never knew.”
“I hope you do,” Dexter says, standing and helping Ruby slip into the coat she’s slung over the back of her chair. “If the people we love stop surprising us, then life gets pretty dull.”
Ruby tugs at the collar of her jacket and buttons it. “The people I love never stop surprising me,” Ruby says. “And I hope that I occasionally surprise them too.”
As if to prove her point, Ruby takes a step towards Dexter, grabs the lapels of his jacket, and pulls him to her sharply. With no regard to anyone else in the cafe, she tugs him closer and then puts her lips to his, lingering in a long, chaste kiss that’s filled with unspoken promise.
“See you at Christmas, Dexter North,” she says, grabbing the handle of her suitcase and dragging it behind her as she walks straight out of the cafe. She doesn’t even bother to look back because she already knows that he’s standing there, watching her with a smile.