Chapter 2
Y ou’d think my final week would pass at a slow crawl, instead, it skips by. In a way, it’s the perfect week, other than the dark cloud hanging over our heads.
Dad stays the entire time. We eat nothing but my favourite takeaway and watch all my favourite shows. When I sneak off to see Dae, he’s extra nice to me, which starts to get a little annoying, as he lets me win every play fight and every race, and they lose all their joy.
“You’re twenty tomorrow,” Mum says the morning before I begin my slow crawl towards death. Her voice has that flatness that people put on when they’re trying to hide their emotions. She’s tried to remove all inflection, but I can still hear the pain.
“Yes.” I stuff cereal into my mouth.
“Stay close, okay?”
“Okay.” I promise.
I don’t stay close. Instead, I run into the dark forest and spend hours reminiscing with Dae. We talk about the first time we met. We talk about my first kiss, the boy in school whose name I can’t remember. “Sam,” Dae tells me. “His name was Sam.” I’d been fifteen when Sam and I had snuck out into the forest. He’d pressed his thin, wet lips to mine and then, after only a few seconds, screamed and ran off.
I’d poked my head through a bramble and there was my little Faerie, grey eyes shining in the moonlight, half-grown horns immersed in the branches. “That was very naughty of you,” I tell Dae. “Scaring him off like that.”
He shrugs. “I don’t care.”
And then, because it’s my last day—my last chance—I decide to be brave. “It’s not fair of you to deprive me of a proper first kiss if you’re not going to provide one.”
He rolls over, his entire body pressing in on mine. His lavender-scented fingers trail through my hair, and he leaves a kiss on my forehead. “Is that what you’d like?” His voice is breathless.
“Yes.” My breath hitches. My chest presses against his as it rises.
He rests his forehead on mine. “Okay.”
I don’t breathe. I don’t move. The entire world stops spinning as I wait. He’s hard against me, I can feel him right between my legs. Our clothes are the only things stopping him from entering me. I’m seconds away from grabbing his head and slamming it down on my lips when he says, “Tomorrow.”
“That’s not fair.” My voice is all high-pitched and squeaky.
He smirks, the movement turning the sharp angles of his face inhuman. “Promise me you’ll come back tomorrow, and I’ll promise to kiss you.”
I’m beginning to get frustrated. “You’re not doing me a favour, Dae.”
“Please.”
I roll my eyes.
He catches my cheeks between his fingers and brings my attention back to him. “Please.” His voice cracks, and his eyes fill with emotion.
I sigh. What does a broken promise matter now? “Kiss me now, and then I’ll come tomorrow.”
He shakes his head, soft black curls falling across his eyes. “No.”
“Fine.” I shove him off me. I don’t usually have to lie and pretend for Dae. I suppose I can do it for him, too, just this once. “I promise.”
He falls to the ground, a sigh falling from his lips, and his shoulders slump. Does he actually think a promise is going to keep me alive? Sometimes, I worry about my silly guardian angel. He’s got very odd notions. Maybe he imagines I’ll be well enough during the sickness to steal a few more months together. I’d wager every paintbrush I own that he’s wrong.
It’s time for me to leave, and really, what is a promise to see you tomorrow if not a cue to go? But I don’t want to leave him on a frustrated note. “Say goodbye to me.”
He glances to the side. “No.”
“Please.”
“Don’t do that. You know I can’t refuse you.”
“Then don’t.”
He says, “I’ll run through the Nori before you can catch me.”
I laugh and stand. He kneels, and his hands spider up my legs until they reach my hips. He grabs my thighs and presses his nose into me, taking a deep breath. I gasp and shove him back onto the grass, climbing on top of him. “Degenerate,” I say.
“Stay.” He looks up at me like I’m the most precious star in the sky.
I shake my head and drive my hips down onto his lap. He lets out a low groan, one that sends shivers crawling down my spine. His hands find my thighs again, and he grabs hold, squeezing until they’re burning just on the right side of painful. I drive my hips up and down again, relishing the feel of how hard he is beneath his trousers. I wiggle around until he’s positioned right at my entrance.
“I can’t,” I say, and he groans again, this time in frustration. My last night alert and healthy belongs to my parents.
He nods before flipping me over and grinding into me. This time, it’s my turn to groan. “Fuck, I like that sound,” he says, leaving kisses on my neck before jumping up and holding his hand out to me. My whole body feels cold and empty. “Go on. Get out of here before I rape you.”
I let out a choked sound, something between a gasp and a laugh. “I’d scream.” I know what he’s doing—making me laugh and run so we don’t have to say goodbye, so we don’t leave on a sad note. At least, I think that’s what he’s doing.
He pulls me up, his arms snaking around my waist. “That would only make me harder. And we’re on the border of Faerie. I only have to drag you a few meters, and then there would be no one to save you.”
“You wouldn’t.” I’m still laughing, but now I’m not so sure he’s joking.
“I would.” His eyes grow cold. “Five, four?—’’
I burst into a sprint, playing along.
“No, no,” he calls out in warning. “Don’t run. The sight of you fleeing will completely break my self-control. Go slow, baby.”
I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. I laugh all the way to my house before the tears start to fall. I appreciate him making it easier to say goodbye, but the thought of never seeing him again has me clutching my chest. I guess I won’t notice once it’s over. Maybe the sickness will steal my mind before it takes my body, and I won’t spend the next few months bed bound thinking of Dae. I stand on the precipice, the threshold of home, and hurriedly wipe the tears away before walking in the front door.
When I get home, both my parents are there. We decide to sleep on the sofas in the living room and watch old films. Mum cries, she thinks I can’t see her, but I can. Dad doesn’t, but he reaches out across the sofa at several points and touches the inside of my wrist, as though he’s checking I’m still alive before retreating again.
I lie on the couch, and in the moments between sleep and life, I wonder if Dae will find me in the afterlife.