Chapter 18 #2
My stomach drops, and my tongue cramps at the back of my throat.
The video cuts off right after that, but the damage is done. The caption below it reads, “NHL Voodoo player, Grammercy Graves, shows frat douche how real men treat a woman . R.I.P my ovaries,” and the comments are…numerous.
“See? You did good,” the girl says, chucking me on the shoulder with a fist. “Total positive masculinity, you know?”
“Yeah,” I mutter.
But I do not know. I know absolutely nothing right now except that sometime in the past fourteen hours, I’ve become internet famous and didn’t even know it .
“How many views does that have?” Parker asks, leaning over my shoulder.
The girl glances down. “Um, this version, like…three million? But your team account shared it, too.” She frowns as she glances between us. “You guys should set up an alert for your names on your phones.”
Shit. My phone.
I’m pretty sure it’s still on silent from before I went into the jazz club last night. I was so distracted by everything going on with me and Elly, I don’t think I ever turned it back on.
“Excuse me, I need to…” I stumble toward the counter, the only place where people aren’t staring. “I should probably?—”
I pull out my phone, and the screen lights up like a slot machine hitting a jackpot.
Five missed calls from Schwartz, my agent.
Two texts from Nix.
Two from my brother.
One from Blue.
Four from Torrance.
And… so many from my mother.
Fuck.
The texts are a shit storm tsunami.
Grant: Well, well, well…you’re making a splash in your first hometown season, little brother.
Grant: If our mama is as shocked by this news as I am, you can kiss you ass goodbye. Call me. We clearly need to talk.
Schwartz: Call me. NOW.
Schwartz:I’m serious, Grammercy. There’s no such thing as the weekend when you’re at this level. We have to move on this. Now.
Torrance:brO, you’re TikTok famous!
Torrance:Also, Coach wants to talk to me on Monday about social media guidelines. Guess he doesn’t think I should have shared that, but whatever.
Torrance: The team PR account shared it like 15 minutes later.
Torrance: Also, you should NOT be keeping that BAE on the down-low. Girl is FINE as hell.
Nix:Saw the video. Nice work. That punk had it coming.
Blue:
Nix: Also, I KNEW you were crushing on that server at the party, but WTF man. You should have told me you two were fucking dating or MARRIED or whatever. That’s weird. Why are you weird?
Beanie:GRAMMERCY GERMAINE GRAVES, call your mama. Right now. We need to TALK. And you know exactly why, don’t even pretend you don’t.
Beanie:That looks like Elly in the video. I’m at brunch and don’t have my glasses, but sure as heck looks like her. It had better be her. If this is some OTHER mystery woman, you just bought yourself a one-way ticket to an intervention.
Beanie:All right, Adelaide showed me the video again on her iPad. That’s definitely Elly. Which is a relief. But what the actual hell, cher?
Beanie:When did you two get MARRIED? I thought you JUST moved in together? And what does Mimi think about all this? You’re going to give that sweet baby whiplash. I just met this girl LAST WEEK.
Beanie:I thought moving in together was rushing things. Is that why you didn’t mention that Elly’s already my DAUGHTER-IN-LAW?! Since when do you lie to me, bébé? I thought we had a different kind of relationship than that. I thought we had trust.
Beanie:Now, I have high blood pressure! For the first time in my life! And I need wine at one in the afternoon.
Beanie:Adelaide just ordered wine. We’re going to have mimosas and embrace the fact that our children are fully grown and capable of cleaning up their own messes. But we WILL discuss this. SOON.
Beanie:And, of course, I’m not saying Elly and Mimi are messes. They seem sweet, and if they end up being family, I’ll love them hard and tight, the way we do. BUT YOU STILL SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOUR MOTHER YOU WERE MARRIED. I AM IRRITATED, MY BOY. AND SOON, I WILL BE DRUNK IN THE AFTERNOON.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I mutter, pressing a fist to my chest, above where my heart is slamming faster and faster.
“Yikes. Beanie is pissed,” Parker says over my shoulder, making me flinch .
“Shit, you scared me,” I say, my breath rushing out.
“Don’t freak out, dude, it’s going to be okay,” College Girl says, waving as she gathers her things and heads for the door.
“Sorry to ruin your coffee date, but seriously, we Stan a protective king. Keep that energy. Just like…get a social media manager if you’re too old to keep up with it or whatever.
You can afford it, and you obviously need some help. ”
She bolts for the door before I can inform her that I’m only a few years older than she is.
I’m old-fashioned , not old.
I’m also in deep shit with half the people I know, and I haven’t even heard from Elly yet.
Elly…
She had her phone on silent last night, too.
She might be just as in the dark as I was a few minutes ago.
“I have to call Elly,” I say, heading back to our table. “I don’t think she knows.”
“Knows what?” Parker asks as he trails after me. “That she’s your wife? Is she actually your wife? Or was that just…weird Friday night roommates-who-are-about-to-become-fuck-buddies date night energy?”
“It’s complicated,” I mutter.
“Dude.” His jaw drops. “No, way. You married this girl? Avery is going to shit therapist bricks when I tell?—”
“No.” I point a finger at his face. “You’re not telling Avery anything. Because you don’t know the whole story. It’s not what you think.”
He snorts. “So, it’s not that Mimi needed health insurance, so you married Elly so the kid would be taken care of? It’s not that?”
I exhale. “Okay, fine, it is what you think. But it was my idea. Not Elly’s. So don’t start with ‘she had schemes’ thing again.”
“Okay,” Parker says, clearly still thinking she had schemes. “But I hope you signed a prenup. You did sign a prenup, right?”
“I have to call Elly. She needs to know what’s happening,” I say, ignoring his tragic sigh in response. I press Elly’s contact, cursing as the call goes straight to voicemail. “Her phone is on silent. She’s at a birthday party with Mimi.”
One of Mimi’s best friends from school is celebrating her birthday at an alligator farm outside the city.
And an alligator farm isn’t a place where you want to be distracted by random calls.
Knowing Mimi, Elly could turn her back for five minutes and Mimi would be trying to share her cake with the baby alligators.
“Just a second, I’m going to text her,” I mutter to Parker, my fingers already tapping— Hey.
Call me when you get this. DON’T get online or check your other messages first. Just hang tight, okay?
I’m coming to meet you at the alligator farm.
There’s a situation, but we can get ahead of it if we put our heads together. Be there soon, chère.
“Well, that’s going to ensure she checks all her texts ASAP,” Parker mutters, still reading over my shoulder. “Way to be alarmist, Graves.”
I press my phone to my chest. “A little privacy, please?”
“Nope,” he says, not even pretending to be sorry. “I want to come to the alligator farm, too. I want to see the look on Elly’s face when you tell her that your weird secret marriage is now a weird public marriage.”
“You can’t come. It’s a kid’s birthday party, and you weren’t invited. ”
“You weren’t, either,” he counters.
I start toward the door. “No, but my wife was, so I’m good.”
Parker falls in beside me. “Aw, you like saying that, don’t you? It’s pretty cute. Isn’t it Share Bear?”
“Very cute,” Sherry agrees. “You leaving, Parker? I can get that carrot cake wrapped for you.”
“Nah, I’m staying,” he says, stopping at the counter. “Good luck, buddy. Try not to get eaten by an alligator. Or your agent. Or Beanie.”
“Thanks, will do,” I say, lifting a hand as I reach the door.
I push out of the café into the autumn afternoon, ignoring a couple who are pointing and whispering on the next corner as I dart past them on my way back to my car.
Three million views and counting.
By tonight, everyone in New Orleans will have seen that video. By tomorrow, who knows? Half the world might know I’ve acquired a surprise wife.
But I can’t worry about that right now.
Now, I just need to get to Elly and make sure she’s in the loop. We may have only been friends for a week, but I already know Elly hates being in the dark. She likes to be fully apprised of a situation.
So, that’s what I’ll do.
I’ll go to her, I’ll apprise, then apologize, and then promise to fix this somehow.
But as I jog to the car, deep down, I know wanting to “apprise” Elly is only part of this. It’s not just that she needs to know, it’s that I need to see her. I need to be with her. I need to hold her, look deep into those big eyes, and see that she still trusts me .
Trusts us…
And doesn’t want to toss me into the cage with the alligators for making a “social media worthy” scene last night.
Heart hammering, I pull out of the parking lot and head for the highway, bracing for whatever comes next.