Chapter 5
NADINE
River is already dressed, and all I can think about is he fills out a suit jacket the way suits are theoretically designed to be filled out but rarely are in practice. He has no business looking this hot. I mean, he's already devastating in plaid shirts and Henleys, but this version of River?
I might as well forgo the underwear because it will just get drenched anyway.
He's sitting on the edge of the bed reading something on his phone, completely unbothered, which is either genuinely relaxing to be around or the most effective passive pressure I've ever experienced.
I set my hand down on the bathroom counter, finish the eyeliner, and step back from the mirror.
The dress is good—navy, simple, also beyond my budget.
But what the hell. We got fake wedding rings, so might as well go all out.
Also, maybe I bought the dress because of how River raked his gaze up and down my body.
At the time, I was still living in denial island, but after last night and the pool, I know for sure River sees me so much more than his sister's best friend.
Speaking of my sister. God, Rachel. How would we tell her? Am I the worst best friend in the world? She trusted us—trusted ME—to behave because it's supposed to be fake. Now, how do I even admit I basically just had the most erotic weekend with her brother? And we haven't had actual sex yet!
Does she have her suspicions? I haven't exactly responded normally to her texts. Instead of lengthy, run-on sentences with details that border on TMI, I just told her we're good, it's working, and both Derek and Alice are affected. I did compensate with a million emojis.
Taking a deep breath, I fluff my hair a bit, even though I've already used enough hairspray to suffocate and kill me.
When I finally emerge fully prepared, I do a small turn. "How do I look?"
River sets his phone down but doesn't answer immediately. He drops his phone to the bed and drags his eyes over me, from my bare feet to my mouth, then dropping to my chest. His throat works once, and that's enough to convince me I look good.
"River, is that good or bad?"
He tilts his head to the side, and that slow, dangerous smirk curves into place. "Baby, you look like you're about to make some people reconsider their life choices. You're about to reduce everyone else into a knockoff version of you."
Oh God. I'm keeping that.
The chapel is simple but elegant—white folding chairs, a driftwood arch, string lights already glowing in anticipation of dusk. Derek stands at the altar looking polished and precisely one inch taller than usual, which I recognize as his Italian leather wedding shoes.
He wears a suit with something glittering … wait, are those crystals along the stitches? God, he really wants to shine literally.
Alice arrives in organza and lace, her train carried by a small child. The dress shows off her curves, the shade complements her skin perfectly. She looks like she belongs at the end of this aisle with Derek waiting for her.
This observation comes with no particular emotion attached to it, which is perhaps the strangest part.
River's shoulder is warm against mine. The one I bit last night. I wonder if it still has some bite marks? He really turned me into an animal at the pool.
His hand covers mine on my thigh, and yes, it's a simple hand holding, but his hand is way too close to the junction between my thighs that my brain just goes … there.
The next hour is a blur of promises, smiles, and kissing of the bride.
When I received the invitation, there was a tiny part of me that was scared I hadn't actually moved on. That I'd take one look at Derek being happy with someone else and feel crushed.
That's so not the case.
I spent six months trying to be the right kind of person for Derek.
Watching him choose Alice Allison—I think about the alliteration every time—I understand, maybe for the first time, that the problem was never that I wasn't the right kind of person.
The problem was that I was trying to be the right kind of person for Derek, which is the single most avoidable mistake I have made in my adult life.
If there's anything I learned from these past forty-eight hours, it's that you should never force yourself to be someone you're not. The right person will like you for who you are—disgusting flaws and all.
The proof? River. I wasn't kidding when I said he's seen me at my worst. Bringing me tampons? Check. Tending to me when I thought I was dying from flu? Check. Bringing me to the hospital because of an infected toenail? Check.
River was there through all of that and still liked me, still chose me.
River drapes an arm behind my chair, and I scoot closer and lean against him.
If Derek and Alice truly love each other, then good for them. From the bottom of my heart, I don't care about them. Whatever it was between River and me has changed from fake to real.
Maybe, in a way, I can thank Derek and Alice for that. If not for the pressure to look like I really moved on, I wouldn't be here.
This is my life now. I'm okay with this.
The reception is held on the resort's main terrace, white lights strung overhead, the infinity pool gleaming just below us. The same pool where last night River's hands were—
"What are you thinking about?" River's voice is low in my ear. "You're smiling."
I nod toward the pool. "Just admiring the view."
"Ah. Yes. Beautiful. Lots of privacy, too."
I chuckle, and River cuts off the sound with a kiss that leaves me breathless. God, I cannot wait for this party to be over.
Priyanka and Alec stop us near the railing, and we know they're about to ask the deets. I squeeze River's hand. We got this. We've had practice. The story has smoothed out over the course of the weekend. The edges no longer catch.
"Nadine! And the famous husband. Good to see you both." Alec shakes River's hand enthusiastically. "Have to say, I was surprised to hear about marriage. Never even knew you were dating someone."
"Nadine likes her privacy," River says.
Priyanka waggles her eyebrows at me. "So, what? Vegas? How'd you do it?"
We've planned for this, but River answers before I can. "Small ceremony, just us and one witness. Nothing fancy. When you know, you know."
Alec bumps his elbow with River's. "How'd you two meet, anyway?"
River interlocks with fingers with mine. "Freshman year of college, actually. Through her best friend Rachel, my twin sister."
"Twins! Wow. And you waited that long to make a move?" Priyanka laughs.
"I played the long game," River says, and his eyes meet mine with a look that contains several things at once—amusement, warmth, and something quieter that I'm still learning how to read, something that makes both my core and my chest clench.
The reception flows around us in eddies of conversation and laughter. River stays close, his hand occasionally finding my lower back or my elbow, planting kisses on my temple or forehead, his attention returning to me even when engaged elsewhere.
From the outside, you'd think I was the social one, but no. River is actually more experienced with socializing, mostly because of his high-end clients.
"I'm going to grab another drink," River says. "Same?"
"Please."
He squeezes my hand once before disappearing into the crowd, leaving me alone at the edge of the terrace. The sunset behind me, staining the sky pink and orange over the ocean, is beautiful, but I cannot seem to take my eyes off River's retreating back—the broad shoulders, the confident walk.
A flash of white blocks my view. Alice, bride of the hour, was still sparkling despite hours of mingling and champagne toasts. Her dress rustles as she positions herself directly between me and my view of River, as if she can't bear the thought of me looking at something I want.
"The resort is gorgeous, isn't it? I'm so glad you could make it.
" Alice leans in, dropping her voice to a confidential whisper.
"I have to admit, when Derek told me you were bringing someone, I was surprised.
A husband, no less. We had no idea you were even seeing anyone. You're always so private at work."
"I keep my personal life separate from work. Always have. Besides, if you didn't know, maybe because you didn't matter enough to me."
Alice laughs like we're sharing a joke. "Of course, of course.
It's just … and forgive me for being direct, but we're friends, right?
I'd like to think we're friends since we work at the same company.
Did you actually get married in Vegas? Was Elvis there?
I always thought Vegas weddings were for bets or …
impulsive people who might get divorced a week later. "
I always thought Alice had the personality of a wet tissue, but she apparently can be pretty funny.
In case she hasn't noticed, I have moved on. So far beyond Derek that he's practically in my rearview mirror. The fact that she goes out of her way to be mean to me on HER wedding day speaks volumes about their relationship.
God, why are they so bothered about me? On that note, why are they so obsessed with my love life?
"Sometimes, Vegas weddings are for couples who don't need an audience for validation," I say.
"That's nice, but it doesn't exactly scream stability."
"Neither do affairs."
Derek appears to Alice's right, pulling her close to him.
"Nadine, there you are. I see Alice has found you.
We wanted to make sure you were having a good time.
It means a lot that you came." He pauses, looking around the terrace with exaggerated curiosity.
"Where's River? I never got the chance to say hi to him properly. "
"Getting drinks."
Alice trills with another laugh. "How convenient that he keeps disappearing."
Derek chuckles. "Alice, come on."
River appears with two drinks and moves directly to my side. One drink pressed into my hand, his other hand finding my hip.