58. Nora
CHAPTER 58
NORA
West hasn’t been himself since the night of the Spring Ball.
He’s busy, and so am I, working from early in the morning until late to perfect the pieces for the Fashion Showcase. It’s only days away. West used to be around, though. Popping by with a cup of tea for me or texting to suggest we grab dinner.
But now he’s not around at all; not at the estate. Not in his office, not in the library. And when I see him, it’s brief interactions, short conversations with a heaviness in his eyes.
He’s here. He’s holding me. His lips brush over my temple, and his kisses are still hot and hungry, but his whiskey eyes have shuttered.
Yesterday, I woke up to him sliding into my bed and turned toward his warmth instinctively. Didn’t mean to wake you, he’d murmured into my hair, and pulled me to drape over him. He once told me he slept better if we were connected somehow. A hand on my waist, a leg intertwined.
None of that has changed. He still wants me, I know that, deep in my bones. Even if he hasn’t brought up the marriage thing once since I said it.
“Where were you?” I asked.
“Worked late. Trying to map out Wilde’s movements.” He sighed in what sounded like relief when I pressed close to him. “God, you feel good.”
“Mmm.” I was sleepy and annoyed at his absence, but too glad that he was back to protest. I fell asleep again, warm and happy and determined to talk more properly the next day, only to find him gone again when I woke.
So I stick to my usual routine. Go for a run with Sam and Madison, eat breakfast in the kitchen, perfect hems and stitches and folds.
Ignore my brother’s calls.
He’s called every day since the party. Twice the day after, three times yesterday. But on the third day, he sends me a text I can’t ignore.
If you don’t talk to me, I’m coming to pick you up this afternoon.
He answers on the first ring.
“Nora?”
“Yeah. Hey.”
“Finally,” he says. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, of course I am. Though West still has a black eye.” My voice is calm, but I can’t help myself. “Courtesy of you , I heard.”
He switches over to French. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s at work and doesn’t want people to hear. “I’m getting you out of that house.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Nora, I can’t have you stay there.”
“It’s not your decision.”
Rafe keeps going as if he hasn’t heard me. “I’ll send one of the drivers to pick you up by three p.m. You can stay in the New York apartment. His security team is good, but I can find one just as good. You won’t have to worry about a thing.”
“Rafe,” I say, “you won’t do anything.”
There’s a brief pause on the other end. “What?”
“I’m fine where I am. I don’t need you to come save me because I’m not in need of saving.” I play with the bracelet on my right wrist. I haven’t taken it off since he gave it to me. Be a good girl and get angry.
“Nora,” he says, his voice tight, like he’s trying to rein in his temper. “I don’t know what he’s told you, but I don’t want you to be taken advantage of.”
“What makes you think I’ve been taken advantage of?” I ask. “You haven’t asked me once how I feel about this. About West or dating him. You’re just making demands. West hasn’t done anything I didn’t want.”
“He hasn’t told you about needing to be married to keep the estate.”
“I know about that.”
“Then you know he’s going to marry someone else in a matter of months? Are you okay with that?” His voice sharpens. “Or he might be planning to ask you.”
“He’s your best friend, Rafe. He’s not trying to trick me. If anything, he didn’t want this to happen because of you. Do you know how big of an obstacle you have been? And I don’t even understand why, because it’s so stupid. You two are friends.”
“He’s strategic. He looks ahead, and he?—”
“I asked him to marry me,” I say.
There’s total silence on the other end. One heartbeat, two… “What did he say?”
I don’t want to share that with my brother. Not when we haven’t spoken about it since it happened, not when uncertainty makes it hard to think. “We’re working on it,” I say instead.
Rafe takes a deep breath. “He said it’s been going on for over a month. In Costa Rica, you two pretended to be… nothing but friends.”
“Yes.” My pulse is high. I don’t like having this conversation. But I’m not going to run from it either. “Because he was scared of your reaction. And so was I.”
Rafe’s voice turns low. “I asked him to look after you. I trusted him, and he?—”
“Did what? Made me happy?” I squeeze my eyes shut. “The only reason you’re reacting like this is because you still see me as your little sister who needs protection. Not someone capable of making her own decisions. And you’ve felt this way about me for years. For as long as I can remember. After we lost Etienne, and you went to Belmont… It changed. We changed.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s not?”
“You’re my responsibility, Nora.” Rafe’s voice is tight. “Wilde wanted to target me, but he used you to do it. Do you know how angry that makes me? You were only made to feel afraid because of me.”
“I’m not angry at you for that,” I say.
“Well, I am. Enough for the both of us,” he says. “And now West and you? Marrying him? You’ve been under so much stress these last months, and with your fashion show, too, and the stalker…”
I blink a few times and find that my vision shimmers. I always get teary-eyed when I’m angry, and I hate it. Traitorous tears. “Remember when you said the Fashion Showcase was silly?” I pause, swallowing the lump forming in my throat. “But I want to do this without your help. Because I’m genuinely good at it. Because I have talent and skill, and not because of our family resources.”
“I’ve always thought you had skill.”
The admission hits me harder than I expect. My throat tightens, and I say, “It’s never felt like that.”
“It hasn’t?”
“Dad never allowed mistakes. Mom never allowed any but her own. And you—you never made any . It made it so hard to try new things. To be okay with failure. To be okay with not living up to the person you all wanted me to be.”
“Nora,” my brother mutters on the other end. “You’ve never said any of this before. None of it is true.”
I look up at the beautiful spring sky. “I like West. I like him a lot. Whatever happens, I won’t regret it. Not a single thing that’s happened between us. And you can either treat me like an adult and trust me when I say that… or you can ignore what I think so you can keep being mad at West because he broke the rule you all made back at Belmont.”
“He told you about that? About… Amber?”
“Yes. Well, some of it. Rafe, you punched the man I’m dating instead of talking to me.”
“He’s my oldest friend.” His voice sounds tired all of a sudden, and so much older than his twenty-nine. “I trusted him, and he hid this from me.”
“I was the one who came on to him first,” I say.
“ Sure . He always watched you too closely,” Rafe mutters.
There’s nothing to say to that. I take a deep breath. “I don’t like feeling like I’m disappointing you, but I’m not going to back down here. It’s my life, and I can’t live it on other people’s terms.”
He’s quiet for a few long seconds. “So you don’t want me to come pick you up?”
I laugh a little. “No, I’m fine where I am.”
“Fairhaven is a beautiful house.”
“It really is,” I say. “And don’t let this ruin your and West’s relationship, okay? No one is in the wrong here.”
“Maybe,” he says, and I know it’s the best I’m going to get.
“I’ll talk to you later. Bye, Rafe.”
“Bye,” he says softly, and I hang up the phone.
It takes me a long time to relax after that. I sit by the ocean, next to the boathouse, and watch as the waves come in. A single sailing boat passes out on the open water, and I breathe in deep. Let the air fill me up. The clouds are rolling in, heavy and dark, and there’s rain in the air. There’s a spring storm coming in, and I breathe it all in.
I’m not the person I was when I came here.
And I’m not going to wait for West to open up to me. Not going to sit pretty in a corner and give him sweet smiles. I turn my bracelet around, feel the engraving against my skin.
I don’t doubt that he wants me. That this is more than a convenient solution, that there’s something real here. I see it, and I feel it, and I’ve never been more sure of anything.
But I’m going to have to force him to admit that. I’m going to have to get a bit angry. And I’m going to use the skills he’s helped me hone.
When I call Amber, she answers on the fifth ring. “Have you recovered from the hangover from the party? Because I swear to god, it’s taken me three full days.”
“Just in time for another one,” I say. “Want to go out tonight? I feel like dancing.”
“Absolutely, I do. Let me guess. My brother?”
“He’s frustrating me at the moment.”
“He does that sometimes.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “I’ll come pick you up. Are we bringing your guards?”
“Yes.”
“Be there at eight.”