6. Logan
SIX
LOGAN
If he drops her one more time, I swear to god…
Right as I think it, she falls out of his arms and onto the mat.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to calm myself down. They’re still learning this routine. It’s going to take time. But at this rate, her entire body is going to be bruised before the end of the week. At least she’s not fighting the ice baths anymore. One small victory for me, I suppose.
We met with the choreographer for the last two days, and they’ve been working with the lift coach all morning, but he had to go work with another couple, so it’s just me and them.
“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” Max says as he lifts his shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He’s been at this for over an hour, and I imagine his arms have had about all they can take at this point.
“I think your hand might be in the wrong place when she twists around your neck.”
He throws his arms up in defeat. “I don’t know where else to put my damn hand.”
“Alright, take a breather. Let me see if I can figure it out.”
I walk over to the mat. The lift is difficult, but with their strength and flexibility, it shouldn’t be impossible. “Savannah, do you mind if I try the lift with you?”
She hesitates. “Are you going to drop me?”
“I mean, it’s possible, but that’s why we’re on mats. It won’t hurt,” I tell her like she doesn’t already know this. Like she hasn’t fallen a hundred times already today.
“Yeah, tell that to my aching body,” she grumbles as she comes closer to me.
She stands in front of me, and I position my hand down her leg. Even though it’s been a while since I’ve done any lifts, and I know my muscle memory will kick in, I’m nervous to do this with her. Like I have to prove myself capable or something. Which is ridiculous since I’m not even her partner.
I push all that aside and lift and flip her into the upside-down position the lift coach showed us, keeping my hand down the side of her torso.
Then her leg swings around my neck and I help twist her over until she’s down and bracing on my knee.
She jumps down quickly, like she can’t get away from me fast enough.
“Ok, yeah, your hand needs to be closer to her belly button when she’s upside down, and then when she goes around your shoulders, move your hand to be right under her armpit.”
“Are you kidding me? I’ve been practicing this for an hour, and you jump in and do it on the first try?” Max is getting frustrated. It’s the first time I’ve seen him like this. He’s usually the positive one.
“I’ve been watching you do this over and over, so I knew what I was trying to do before I went into it. I’m sure if I had tried it from square one like you did, it would’ve taken me a lot longer.”
Max scoffs. “Can we take a break?”
“Yeah.”
Max storms out of the room without another word.
“Is he alright?” I ask Savannah who is currently stretching out her legs.
“Yeah. He gets like this when he can’t figure something out for himself. He’ll get over it.”
I start to grab my water bottle and head out to the main rink when she stops me. “Hey, would you mind doing the lift with me one more time? I haven’t been able to get my leg straight since he didn’t have me in the right spot.”
I try to hide my surprise that she’s actually asking me for help. “Yeah, of course.”
I get back into position behind her and slide my hand down her leg. “Ready?”
She takes a deep breath. “Yeah.”
I lift her again. She starts in the upside-down position and then uses her legs to hoist herself up and around my neck. Through the mirror, I can see that her right leg isn’t as straight as it needs to be. Finally, she jumps off my knee.
“That was better,” I start to say.
“But not good enough.”
“Let’s do it again, and I’ll video it so you can see it.” I prop my phone up and start recording before getting back into starting position.
We do the lift again and watch the video together.
“One more time.”
She’s determined, I’ll give her that. We do the lift one more time, and finally, it clicks. She’s got it.
She’s smiling when she lands back on the ground, and it might be the first true smile I’ve ever seen from her.
“Nailed it,” I tell her. “Now you just need to do it with Max.”
“He’ll get it. Now that I know what it’s supposed to feel like, I can help guide him through it.”
In my previous partnership, I was the one guiding my partner through the lifts, but maybe Max and Savannah have a different dynamic. Either way, I’ll support whatever they need to do to get it done.
“Thanks for working through that with me,” Savannah says with a pained look on her face.
I laugh. “Was it that hard to thank me?”
“Yeah, kinda,” she admits.
“Well, it is my job to help you, Savannah.”
“Yeah, I know.” She grabs her water bottle and takes a long sip.
My eyes fall to her throat and then her chest and down her stomach.
It’s inappropriate for me to look at her like this.
I’m her coach. But there’s no denying how beautiful she is.
Even after hours of hard work when she’s covered in sweat, she’s easily one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever laid eyes on.
I look away quickly, because it doesn’t matter how beautiful she is; I can’t be looking at her like that.
“Can I ask you a question?” Her voice startles me out of my head, and my eyes snap to hers.
“Yeah. Anything,” I say quickly. Jesus, don’t sound so desperate, man.
“Do you think we have a chance?” she asks.
“At what?”
“Going to the Olympics. And I want your honest answer. Not some bullshit motivational coach answer.”
I chuckle. Lucky for her, I don’t have many motivational quotes under my belt. The best I have is “get out there and fucking do it.” Which, for some reason, I feel might actually work for her.
“No bullshit? Yeah, I think you have a chance. You guys are good. There are obviously some high contenders going up against you so that’s why we need to make sure you stand out.
We have to take a chance on the difficult moves, like this lift.
We’ve got to show Team USA that you’re the best. So, yeah, I believe you guys can do it. ”
Her shoulders relax like that was exactly what she needed to hear. Not gonna lie, that makes me feel pretty damn good.
She nods. “Ok.”
Savannah hasn’t been quite as hostile since we had lunch the other day, but I still wouldn’t say she’s friendly toward me.
Sometimes I feel like I’m grasping for crumbs with her, watching to see if her lips move up in any semblance of a smile or that her shoulders aren’t squared off like she’s ready to attack me when we talk.
Baby steps, but we’re getting there. Her allowing me to help with this lift today was huge.
“I’m going to go find Max and get his ass to dance class.”
“Alright. I’ll see you both back on the ice in a few hours.”
Their schedule is intense, especially with an upcoming competition. This is one thing I loved about skating. It’s all day, every day. You push your body to its limit. It’s hard to not be doing that anymore. I’ve been using the rink’s gym to work out, but I still haven’t stepped out onto the ice.
Savannah leaves the room, and I gather my things before making my way to the ice. Technically, I’ve got some downtime right now and could be doing admin stuff, but that’s the worst part of this job.
I’m stopped in my tracks, though, when I see my mom sitting on one of the benches outside the rink.
“Mom? What are you doing here? Is everything ok?” I ask, rushing up to her. She looks fine. Surely she would’ve called me if something was wrong. I didn’t have any missed calls the last time I checked.
“I’m fine. I was bored and thought it might be fun to have a skate.” I know she goes a little stir crazy sitting in the house, but her immune system is not great at the moment, so it’s safer if she stays home.
“Fun to have a skate?” I repeat slowly.
“Yeah.” She holds up both her skates and… my skates.
“Is this a ploy to get me back on the ice?”
She shrugs. “Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to skate with my son. Logan, I don’t know why you won’t let yourself put these on again, but just because you retired, doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the sport you fell in love with.”
I don’t say anything, so she continues. “And if that’s not enough to convince you, how about that your mom really wants to see you skate again. And I want to skate again. Will you give me this one thing?”
“If I do it today, will you stop pushing me on this?” I ask.
“I promise. Just today.”
“Fine.” I snatch my skates from her hand. She must have been rummaging around in my boxes to find these because I know I hadn’t unpacked them yet. But we’ll have that conversation later.
I turn to head toward the ice when I hear Max calling my name.
“Hey, Coach. I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I was just frustrated.”
“I get it,” I tell him, knowing I’ve been in his place before. “No need to apologize.”
“Well, tell that to Sav because she slapped me upside my head and told me I had to.”
That makes me laugh, loud. “I highly doubt that.”
“She did, I’m telling you. She’s scary when she’s mad. She also said you helped her with the lift, so thanks for that, too.”
Savannah made Max apologize to me? That doesn’t seem right. It would make more sense if she asked him to yell at me more. But somehow I manage to control my surprise.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m here for.”
Savannah walks up behind Max, and when he casually drapes his arm over her shoulders, I wonder, again, if there’s something else going on between them.
It wouldn’t be unheard of between partners, but it’s also not ideal.
If something happens in the relationship, it likely ends the partnership as well.
That’s one reason why I’ve never crossed that line with my partners.
“What’s going on here?’ she asks.
“I was just telling Coach that you smacked me around a bit and made me come apologize.”
She rolls her eyes. “Well, you were being a dick.”
He laughs. “You’re a dick every day to him.”
He has a point there, but I’m going to keep that to myself because I’m also curious as to why she suddenly cares about my feelings.
“Yeah, well, I’m allowed to be,” she says in response. “Who’s this?”
I look over and see my mom grinning ear to ear at the three of us. I was so distracted that I forgot to introduce her.
“Oh, this is my mom, Natalia. Mom, this is Max and Savannah.”
Mom shakes both of their hands. “I’ve heard so much about you two. It’s great to finally meet you.”
“Whatever he’s told you is a lie,” Max jokes.
“Actually, it probably isn’t,” Savannah adds, which makes my mom laugh.
“Don’t worry, it’s all good things. I’m excited to watch you two this season.”
“Thanks, we’re hoping Coach can lead us to some first-place victories,” Max says, and I’m grateful they’re both being nice to my mom. Not that I ever thought they wouldn’t be. Actually, I never imagined either of them even meeting my mom, but I guess she had other plans.
“I might be biased, but I think you’ve got a good shot,” Mom says.
I’m about to wrap up this conversation when Savannah asks, “Do you skate too?” She points to the white skates in Mom’s hands.
She smiles. I’ve never been one to capitalize on my mom’s history.
I usually don’t tell people who she is unless they specifically ask.
Since I (unfortunately) have my father’s last name, it’s not widely known that I’m the son of a gold medal figure skater.
She’s also not easily recognizable these days.
The chemo did a number on her, but recently I’ve started to see her come back to life a bit.
I’m hoping the new treatment at the University of Colorado will help even more.
“I do skate. It’s been a while, though. I was hoping Logan had a few minutes to go out on the ice with me.”
“You’re going to skate?” Savannah asks me with raised brows. Her eyes fall to the black skates in my hand like she just realized I was holding them. “We haven’t seen you skate since you got here.”
“Yeah, well…” I trail off because I really don’t know what to say.
“Maybe we should skip class and stay and watch,“ Max suggests. Savannah looks like she’s about to agree with him. Having an audience, especially them, would make this entire thing even worse.
“No. Nope. You both need to go to dance. Remember, eye on the prize. New York International.” I know I won’t be able to get on the ice if they’re watching me.
“Yeah, yeah,” Max waves me off. “We got it, Coach. It was nice to meet you, Natalia. I’m sure we’ll be seeing you.”
“Yes, I hope so!”
Savannah eyes me suspiciously as she turns to leave with Max. He keeps his arm around her shoulders, but that doesn’t stop her from looking back at me over her shoulder. I wonder what exactly she’s trying to figure out.
“Are you ready?” Mom asks.
No. “Yeah.”
We head to the rink, and I lace up my skates before helping Mom with hers. She steps on the ice first and waits for me by the wall. I hesitate for only a second before stepping out.
It feels like I’m home again.