8. Logan
EIGHT
LOGAN
I took yesterday off to take my mom to treatment since Anya had something else she needed to handle.
I don’t mind taking Mom to her appointments.
In fact, I’d rather be there so I know I’m getting updates directly from the medical staff and not the versions my mother sometimes makes up to avoid worrying me.
But that means I missed a training day with Max and Savannah. They are mostly self-sufficient, but they’re still working out the kinks in their program, and I’d rather be with them to see what changes need to be made.
The coach who filled in for me sent me a few videos of them practicing, though. I watched them with Mom while we were stuck in the medical center all day. She smiled as she watched, and it brought a little lightness to our day.
Today, I’m back at the rink and ready to take on the day. I work on some admin stuff while Max and Savannah are warming up, then I meet them by the ice.
“Hey, Coach,” Max says.
“Hey guys,” I greet them as I put my notebook and laptop down on a bench. “Ready to skate?”
“Yep.”
Savannah has a strange look on her face. Usually, she’s glaring daggers at me, but today she looks… confused. Before I can ask her if everything is alright, Max takes her hand and pulls her out onto the ice.
I watch them skate. They’re beautiful as always, but something feels off today. It becomes even more apparent when Savannah gets into the position where her legs are resting on the top of Max’s skates as he glides along the ice. She shifts her knee just enough that it hits the ice and drags.
She winces in pain, and Max brings them to a stop, but the damage is done. Her tights are ripped, and I imagine she’s going to have some pretty bad ice burn.
They’ve done that move hundreds of times. Why would she put her knee down like that?
The two of them are arguing about something.
I’m too far away to hear what’s being said, but I can see the frustration on Savannah’s face.
I’ll admit it’s kind of nice seeing it directed at someone other than me.
They both skate over to me, and the closer they get, the better I can see the rip in her tights and the redness forming from the ice burn on her knee.
“What happened?” I ask.
“I slid on the ice,” she states bluntly.
“Yeah, I saw that part, but why did it happen?”
“I don’t know,” she says through gritted teeth.
“She won’t tell me what’s going on with her,” Max says. “She’s all tense.”
“I’m fine! I’m just fucking tired. We’ve been going at this for days without a break. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’m ready for a freaking rest day!”
“Alright, alright,” I say. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up. Max, take some laps around the ice to keep your muscles warm.”
“Yes, sir.” He skates off, and I offer my hand to Savannah. Unsurprisingly, she doesn’t take it as she slaps on her blade guards and walks past me. I grab my things and catch up with her.
We make our way to the first aid room. Tati showed me this area on my first day, but truthfully, I didn’t expect to have to use it.
“Can you sit up here?” I gesture to the table. She doesn’t say anything as she gets on and stretches her leg out.
I grab a clean washcloth from the cabinet and turn on the water to warm it. “You sure you’re ok?”
“Yes,” she snips.
I walk over to her and look at her knee. It’s not too bad, but it’ll hurt for a few days. “This might sting.”
“I know. This isn’t my first rodeo.”
I put the warm cloth on her knee, and she hisses. “I know you don’t like me, Savannah, but as your coach, I am here to help you. If there’s something you need to talk about, I want you to know I’m here for you.”
“Where were you yesterday?” she asks. I’ll admit, that’s not what I was expecting her to say.
“I had an appointment.”
“All day?”
“Yes, it was an all-day thing.”
She shakes her head, clearly not believing me.
“Is that why you’re upset? Because I wasn’t here yesterday? I thought you’d enjoy having a day away from me.”
“It’s just—” She stops herself from saying what she’s really thinking.
“It’s just what, Savannah?”
“We skated together,” she says slowly. “I thought—I thought we had a moment. And then you weren’t here the next day.”
Oh. Oh . Did she think I was bailing on them because of that?
“We had a moment?” I know we had a moment, but I figured she would try to deny it until the day she died.
Her dislike of me seems to make me even more attracted to her.
Which confuses the hell out of me. Savannah is beautiful, she’s a talented skater, and I actually like her attitude.
Not many people have the balls to talk to me like she does, and it’s a nice change.
“Yes! We were skating and then you pulled me closer and…”
“And what?” I ask, needing to know exactly what she thought.
“And you looked at me like you wanted to kiss me.”
I suck in a breath. It had crossed my mind briefly, unexpectedly. But of course, I wouldn’t do that.
“Did I?”
“Yes, you did,” she states firmly.
“So you’re off your game today because I possibly wanted to kiss you the other night?” I smirk, and she rolls her eyes. “Didn’t realize I had such an effect on you.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I can’t have you mess this up for us. This season is important.”
“I understand.”
“That means you can’t quit on us if your fragile ego cracks because I don’t want to kiss you,” she says.
I chuckle as I grab some healing ointment and a large bandage from one of the shelves.
She can pretend she didn’t want to kiss me all she wants, but she’s forgetting that I could see exactly how she was looking at me, too.
Her lips were parted. Her cheeks were flushed.
Her eyes dropped to my lips more than once.
“My ego can handle it. I’m not a quitter either. You can trust that I’m not going anywhere. I just hope you can handle it when you’re begging me to kiss you and I say no.”
She scoffs. “Please.”
“Look at you already begging for it.” I put the bandage on her knee, the giant hole in her tights making it easy.
“You wish.”
I remove my hand from her knee and look her in the eyes. “Maybe sometimes I do wish.”
We stay frozen in this moment of tension. I feel the gravitational pull making me want to lean down and touch her.
“Remember I hate you,” she whispers as her eyes once again dip to my lips.
“It’s impossible to forget.”
“Good. Are we done here?”
I take a step away from the table. “Yep.”
She jumps down from the table and winces. “Are you going to be ok to practice today?”
“Yes.”
“If it hurts too much, will you tell me?” I ask. I need her to push herself because we’re on a time crunch, but I don’t want her to hurt herself even more.
“Probably not,” she admits.
I chuckle. “You’re impossible.”
“Thanks for cleaning me up, Coach.”
I wash my hands as she heads back to the rink. By the time I make it out there, she and Max are restarting the routine. It runs a lot smoother this time. Max is a little shaky on a few of the lifts, but it’s nothing we can’t iron out in the next few weeks.
Afterward, they head to dance and then yoga. I stay behind because Tati is coming in for a few hours this afternoon, and she wants to talk to me. I wait for her in the room that she’s claimed as her office.
“How’s your mom?” she asks as soon as she walks in the door.
“She’s ok right now. The doctors seem optimistic, which has done a lot for Mom’s mental health at least.”
“Good. And how are you doing with all of it?”
“Good.” Not many people know about my mother’s cancer, so not many people ask how I’m doing. Truthfully, it feels wrong to complain about anything when my mom always tries to have a positive attitude. She’s the one in pain. Not me.
She narrows her eyes at me. “How are you really?”
“I’m… fine.” I let out a sigh. “I’m too scared to let myself be hopeful right now.”
She nods in understanding. “Your mom is strong. She’ll get through it.”
“I know.” That’s what people keep telling me. It’s what I thought the first go-round with the cancer. But I’ve seen how low it can bring a person, and I never want to see my mom like that again.
“Let’s get down to business. How are things going with Max and Sav?”
“Good. I’m proud of their progress.”
“Has she lightened up on you any yet?”
I rub the back of my neck. “Uh, no, not really.”
Tati laughs. “But she’s listening? Not causing any trouble?”
“She’s good. Done everything I’ve asked of her with a scowl on her face.”
Tati laughs. “Yeah, I know that scowl all too well. If she gets too hard to handle, let me know and I’ll step in. I just wanted to let the two of you try to work it out first.”
“I appreciate that. I think we’re good, though.”
She nods and starts talking about other things: costumes, bookings, and a photoshoot she wants me to schedule for them soon.
I write things down on my notepad, but my mind keeps drifting back to the way Savannah looked at me earlier.
The way her lips parted and her pupils dilated.
She can say she hates me all day long, but that doesn’t mean she’s not attracted to me.
I must be a sucker for pain because I like that she’s attracted to me even though she’s trying her hardest not to be.
Tati leaves before Max and Savannah are back on the ice. The afternoon flies by as we work on the routine and technique. Before I know it, the day is over, and it’s time for them to go.
Once they’re in the locker rooms, I lace up my skates. I’ve started to really like my evening skating routine. I’m not nearly at the level I used to skate, but it keeps me moving. My mind is always clearer on the ice.
Savannah comes out of the locker room right as I’m about to step onto the ice. Before I can think about it, I’m meeting her halfway and asking her to skate with me.
“I can’t tonight.”
My shoulders slump slightly at her rejection. “Alright.”
She looks over her shoulder as if she’s making sure no one is there. “Next time, though.”
I nod as she starts to walk off.
“Hey, Savannah?”
She turns and takes a step back in my direction. “Yes, Coach?”
“I did want to kiss you,” I admit. “The other night.” I don’t know why I said it, but for some unknown reason, I needed her to know.
She smirks. “I know.”
I’m going to be in so much trouble with this woman.