29. Savannah
TWENTY-NINE
SAVANNAH
Today is the day that Logan and I have decided to tell Tati that we’re together. I know we need to get it over with, especially because it’s becoming harder and harder to hide what we are. But I’m terrified.
What if it doesn’t go like Logan has assured me it will? What if Tati decides he shouldn’t be our coach anymore because of it? What if she’s disappointed in me?
All of those things run through my head over and over again all morning while I skate, glancing to the door every chance I get to see if she’s here yet.
Logan has already told me to stop several times. My moves are off. I missed a lift. My head is just not in it. I need to get this done and over with so my brain can focus on skating.
As if the universe agrees, Tati finally walks through the door.
She looks happier, lighter, since she took a step back from coaching.
I’m glad she’s getting this time to be with her grandkids.
And I hope this new levity stays with her and she gives us some grace when we tell her exactly what’s been going on.
Logan calls us off the ice and tells us to take lunch and reconvene after, when my brain is hopefully working better.
Tati makes her rounds, catching up with a few people. I sit with Max at a table and try to focus on my turkey wrap, but I’m not really hungry.
“What is your deal today, Sav? I swear you almost sliced me with your skate on that last round,” Max says.
I sigh. “I know. I’m sorry. We’re telling Tati today, and I’m just really nervous.”
His eyes go wide. “So, it’s pretty serious then?”
I nod. “Yeah, I guess it is.” Logan and I spend almost every day together. In the past, that would’ve felt suffocating to me, but with him, I look forward to it.
Max nods and takes a bite of his food. Things feel weird between us, and I hate it.
Every time Logan is around or if I mention something Logan and I did, Max gets all quiet.
I understand it, but it sucks. I know Max is trying to act like everything is fine.
That was our deal after all. If one of us decided to end our situation, we would go back to being just friends.
No strings attached. Unfortunately, it’s not working out the way he promised.
Halfway through our lunch, Logan taps my arm and nods his head toward the offices. It’s time. I stand from the table, but before I can walk away, Max grabs my wrist. “You’re sure about this?”
Am I sure about telling Tati? Hell no. Am I sure about Logan? Yeah, I am. And I feel really good about that. “Yes.”
He sighs and lets go of my wrist. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
I follow Logan down the hall. I didn’t miss the glare he sent Max back there, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. We’ve got other things to worry about.
Logan knocks on the open door to Tati’s office. She smiles when she looks up from her desk. “Well, look who it is. The dream team.” She looks over my shoulder and then her brows furrow. “Where’s Max?”
“He’s eating lunch,” Logan says. “Savannah and I wanted to talk to you about something.”
She gestures to the seats across from us. “Alright. Have a seat.”
Logan shuts the door before he sits down.
Tati looks from me to him, and when no one says anything, she prompts us. “Ok, spill it.”
“Savannah and I are dating,” Logan blurts out. Thank god he said it because I’m pretty sure if I opened my mouth right now, I’d throw up.
Tati blinks and then sighs. “You know, that is not what I was expecting from you two.”
“We weren’t really expecting it either,” I say. “I mean, I hated him.”
“She did,” Logan adds.
“Then how did this happen?” Tati asks.
“We spent time together and got to know each other,” Logan explains. It’s not the best reasoning, but it’s probably better than telling her we started skating together and then couldn’t keep our hands off each other. “She’s the best person I know.”
I bite my cheek to keep from smiling.
“And what about Max?” Tati asks.
“What about him?”
“He’s ok with this?” She turns to me. “I know you two were more than just skating partners.”
In all the years she’s coached us, she never once mentioned knowing about Max and me. I actually believed she was just oblivious, but I guess I was the oblivious one.
“Max knows about us and is working through his issues with it, but we’re fine. It hasn’t impacted our skating, and we’re both still committed to this partnership.”
She doesn’t believe me. I can tell by the look on her face. Surprisingly, she doesn’t push me on it.
“You know, I really don’t like my coaches dating any of the athletes in my programs, but I do appreciate you two coming to me and being honest. I’ll allow you to continue to work together for now, but if anything changes with coaching or the skaters, we will reevaluate.
You’ll need to fill out the appropriate paperwork, but let’s not flaunt the relationship, alright?
We’re not going to make any big announcements. ”
“No. We don’t want that,” I say. The last thing I want to do is call attention to myself for something that’s not skating related, and I believe Logan would agree what that.
Tati tells us that she’ll send us the paperwork over the next few days and then asks how everything else is going. Once we’ve answered all her questions, she excuses Logan but asks me to stay behind. Logan squeezes my hand before he leaves and shuts the door behind him.
“So, Sokolov, huh?”
I groan. “I know. Him of all people.”
She smiles at me, and I’m reminded of all the times she’s been there for me over the years, through good and bad. She’s held me when I cried and cheered for me when I was happy. Tati has always been there. I’m realizing I shouldn’t have been so nervous about telling her.
“Off the record… I’m happy for you. Logan is a great guy, Savannah.”
“I know he is. It took me some time to see it, but now… now he’s everything.”
“He treats you well?”
I can’t hide the smile on my face. “Very well.”
“Savannah!”
“What? He treats me well in all aspects of things that need to be treated.” That makes no sense, but she gets it and laughs.
“Well, good. If anything starts to feel weird or if something’s not working with the arrangement, you come to me straight away, ok? This is important. Don’t let a man derail you. Remember the goal.”
I haven’t forgotten. “Olympics.”
“You can get there. And Logan can get you there. Stay focused.”
I nod. “I will.”
“Alright, get back out there. Send Max in, will you?”
“Doing a wellness check?”
She rolls her eyes. “He is one of my athletes, too. Just like I made sure you were ok, I also want to make sure he is as well.”
“I get it. I’ll send him in.”
“Good luck at your next competition. Remember I’m always watching.”
I smile. “Thanks, Coach.”
I leave her office and find Max, who is looking at the forgotten half of my turkey wrap like he’s going to eat it if I don’t claim it in the next ten seconds.
I tap him on the shoulder. “You’re up. Tati’s in the office.”
As he leaves, I take my seat and finish my lunch, suddenly hungry again after finally airing our secret. I’m so happy she took it as well as she did.
After Max talks to Tati, we get back on the ice at Logan’s instruction. My head’s in a much better place this afternoon than it was this morning, which I think everyone is relieved about.
The rest of the day goes by quickly. When it’s time for us to leave, I decide to call my mom on my drive home.
It’s been a while since I’ve talked to her, and I’ve been meaning to check in.
It’s really getting to me that I’ve blown her off so many times because I was worried about skating, or I didn’t go over for dinner because I was on a strict diet.
My parents have been there for me through everything. Hell, they uprooted their entire lives in Nebraska and moved to Colorado so that I could get the best skating instruction. They deserve better than a few texts here and there.
Mom answers on the third ring. “Hey, Sav. Everything ok?”
“Hey, Mom. Yeah, everything’s great. Just wanted to catch up.”
“Oh.” She sounds surprised, and I don’t blame her. “Well, great. Dad and I are good. I just sold a house yesterday.” She’s a real estate agent. “And Dad recently got a smoker, so he’s all into that now.”
I laugh, picturing my dad smoking meats every weekend. He always comes up with random hobbies that he’ll be all in on for a few weeks and then never think about again. “That’s great.”
“How are you? How’s skating?”
“It’s good. I’m really proud of the work we’ve put in this season. Our programs look really good.”
“You do look stronger this season. That first place was well deserved.”
“There’s also, um, well, there’s someone I’d like you guys to meet.” Logan has asked me about my parents and expressed interest in meeting them, but I brushed it off. But now that I’m accepting that Logan and I are actually together, I want them to meet him. I want them to like him as much as I do.
Mom gasps. “Is this someone a boyfriend?”
I smile from ear to ear even though she can’t see me. “Yeah, it is.”
“Tell me all about him.”
And I do. On the drive home, I tell her all about him and end up scheduling a time when we can come over for dinner.
By the time I pull up to my apartment, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and I know I’m a goner for this man.
Especially when he parks next to me and walks up, scoops me in his arms, and spins me like we didn’t spend the entire day together.
“I missed you,” he says. I laugh like he can’t have missed me on the short car ride here, but the sad part is that I actually missed him, too.