4. Kaden
CHAPTER 4
KADEN
It feels as though I’ve just shut my eyes when I’m yanked to my feet and pushed out of the cell. My knees buckle as I move forward. It takes a moment for my brain to catch up. I don’t make it easy for the officers as I wrestle in their grip.
The morning dew clings to the grass, and the bright sunlight shines in my eyes. I’m shackled before they lead me outside into the cold breeze, where a van is waiting. It’s too early to be taking a road trip.
My handcuffs are secured to a chain in the back cab, and once two other guys are loaded up, we set off. It’s a bumpy journey—I swear the driver’s doing it on purpose. My hand flings out to steady myself but can’t quite reach the bench. I’m jolted forward so my chains are the only thing holding me down.
The guy next to me grunts while the other one curses under his breath. Ignoring them both, I widen my legs, trying to regain my balance.
The drive is only a short distance. My impending doom grows closer as bile rises in my throat. The van stops too quickly, the doors fly open, and we’re taken out one at a time. My pulse beats loudly in my ears, drowning out the noise around me. Each prisoner is untied and put on a long chain before we’re gestured forward.
Eastward Crown Court comes into view. Stone pillars loom overhead, and the gold detail is anything but treasure. The building is beautiful and centuries old; qualities I try to focus on to ease my mind. Pandora’s box is temping, but the lid should never be lifted. That’s how I feel about the bricks in front of me. Crown Court is a place I hoped never to see inside. I guess my judgement hour is upon me, and trouble isn’t something I can avoid. It’s either my brother or me embracing doomsday.
We enter the building via the marble steps and through the brass main doors. Once inside, a security guard pats each of us down before signing us in for the hearings. I want to ask him what I could possibly have in my possession when I’ve already been violated in a police station, but I keep my mouth shut so I don’t draw any attention to myself. A flippant comment isn’t going to help me now.
Sonia sits in the lounge area, and my mum appears from the toilet as I’m dragged into my holding pen. They both talk to the officers whilst I sit on the hard wooden bench.
Staring at my feet, I listen to the noises around me. People pace anxiously while others tap their feet. The air is oozing with tension, including my own.
Mum approaches the bars, threading her hands through them to reach out to me. It’s funny; as a kid, I’d love for her to offer me comfort, but now I’m suspicious. Standing, I walk to the edge of my holding pen.
“This is such a terrible situation,” Mum says, trying her best to pull me into a hug.
“Don’t worry. I should be out as soon as I clear things up,” I say, studying her reaction.
Both Sonia and Mum look like deer caught in headlights.
“You can’t be serious,” Sonia says.
“Of course I am. This isn’t my mess.” I shake my head, letting her know the decision I’ve made. Kai can pay for his own sins. I’ve already had enough of dealing with law enforcement.
“I thought you said he understood what needed to be done?” Mum asks Sonia as if I’m not listening to them. It’s unbelievable how easy it is for my mother to throw me under the bus. I was right to not trust her.
“He knows,” Sonia says as they both turn to look at me.
I hold my hands up while walking back to my bench. Even though I had doubts about Mum’s loyalty, the reality stings. My own mother wants me to take the fall for my brother, and that’s gut-wrenching.
They try to call me over again, but I ignore them. My nostrils flare with anger. I pump my fists, allowing my nails to dig into my skin before relaxing them. It’s a betrayal beyond forgiveness. I want to break something. Make a scene so big I can’t be disregarded like garbage. My rage doesn’t escape, instead I let it boil inside.
Two hours pass as I watch people come and go. Some leave happy, others in tears, and some never return through the court doors. I’ve had time to get my anger in check. I don’t speak with my family again. They might as well be dead to me, but I’m psyched up for my hearing.
“Kaden Marsden, you’re up,” one of the police officers says. He sounds upbeat like this is his favourite part of his job, and I can’t help but scowl.
Mum and Sonia follow me to meet the judge. I’m put into the box while my mum starts to sob. I grip my fists tightly. She’s probably not crying for me, more like what I could do to her favourite son. Why can’t she be emotional for me? I’m the innocent one, so why do I feel like the villain?
“Do the right thing,” Sonia says. The judge, my lawyer and prosecution glance at her while I keep my gaze forward.
The facilitator explains the charges and asks how I plead. The room falls silent while they wait for my answer.
“I love you, son,” my mum says.
I close my eyes, blocking everything but my heartbeat out. Blood drums loudly in my ears. Keeping calm, I breathe in and out. In and out. This is it—my sinner or saint moment.
Deep down, I love my family, even if I’m not good at showing it. Maybe I’m not a good son or brother but in my own way I care. Taking the place of someone you love is a gift and blessing. It’s like the balance of the world is resting in my hands. Do I vent my anger or accept my fate?
Fuck. I can’t believe I’m even considering this. I take a few deeper breaths, calming my mind. In and out. In and out.
Spit lodges in my throat; swallowing it, I clear the salvia. Let’s rip this bandage off quickly so I can start dealing with the consequences.
“Guilty,” I say, feeling like my heart stops. Everything around me blurs.
There is more talking, but I can’t make out the words or what’s being said.
My family hug me tight, and my own tears leak from my eyes.
“You’ve done the right thing. I love you,” Mum says.
“I hereby sentence you to five years in Eastward prison with no parole review. Take him away,” the judge says.
I’m unable to reply. I’ve no last words or final goodbyes. The holding pen is long gone, and I’m led under the court to the real jail cells. It’s cold and smells of damp.
My fate is sealed, so now I must endure. With more force than necessary, the officers throw me in the cell. Laughter echoes around the cold, dark room as they leave me to stew. Did I make the right decision, or will this be my greatest mistake?