Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
Alonzo
“ W ell. This is…unexpected.” Maya glanced around the curving street, lined on both sides with small shops and restaurants. Music and laughter flavored the night sky, and there were just enough people to liven up the place without it feeling crowded.
Exactly as I’d hoped.
“You want tacos?” I asked. “There’s a nice Fil-Mex restaurant with good food and a live band.”
“Lead the way.”
I put my hand on the small of her back, and she shifted closer to my side as we walked to one of my favorite restaurants. It filled up easily, but I’d gotten to know the owner and had texted ahead to reserve a table.
“Hey, Lonzo,” one of the waitresses greeted me, her eyes widening as she spotted my hand on Maya. Smiling at her, she said, “Welcome to Cantina Dos. Your table’s ready.”
“Guess you come here often,” Maya murmured as we followed the waitress to a small table near the back of the open-air restaurant.
“Not often enough, but I do when I have extra time and money and want to chill,” I told her. “There’s a ton of cool places in the area, including a tattoo studio.”
As we took our seats, she asked, “Yeah? You wanna get your tatt?”
“Are you offering?”
“You already know the answer.”
I shrugged. “You might change your mind. Till then, I’ll be waiting.”
“You really need to get over that.”
I wanted to tell her not to hold her breath, but words wouldn’t be enough to convince her.
She needed action, so that was what I’d give her—only in this case, that meant waiting.
Waiting until she was ready to trust me with her art, which I’d come to equate as the ultimate sign that a person was part of her inner circle.
I hated waiting, but I could do it for Maya. In fact, I was learning there was little I wouldn’t do for her.
She asked me what was good here, and we ended up getting a combination of my favorites—sisig tacos and a birria burrito—along with the beef nachos and cheese quesadilla she was curious about. She ordered both with extra cheese.
“You have a thing for cheese, huh?” I said after the waitress left with our orders.
“Best food ever,” Maya stated. “Thank God I’m not lactose intolerant, though I’m not sure that would stop me.”
“That explains the tatt on your hip.”
“I thought of placing it somewhere lower, but that would have been too much.”
“Lower, huh? I would have wanted to see that.” I chuckled as she actually blushed.
“Shut up,” she muttered without any heat in her voice.
Under the table, I nudged my knee against her leg. “Which one was your first?”
“The birds.”
“Those are maya birds, aren’t they?” I asked, trying to play it casual for her when in reality, I’d already looked up the species.
“It’s corny, I know.”
“I think it’s beautiful. Like you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Now that is corny.”
“That doesn’t make it any less true,” I said firmly. “I could spend hours staring at your face alone. Do you have any idea how expressive your eyes are? And your mouth?—”
She snorted. “I’m sure you love my mouth.”
“Guilty as charged. I never want to hear you say you’re not beautiful, because you damn well are.”
“I never said I wasn’t.” She smirked, looking mighty proud that she’d gotten one up on me.
I had to laugh. “Good. So why is that your only colored tatt?”
“I realized I wasn’t really into color. Good thing I can’t see it easily or I’d be sick of it.” She hesitated. “I got it for my parents. The maya specifically because my name’s one of the only things I got from them. The birds because they left.”
“One could argue that birds look after people from above.”
She was silent for so long I thought she might not reply.
“I wish that was the truth. Them being gone for good would hurt less than them being alive and choosing not to look for me.” Her eyes held mine.
“I used to hope they would come back for me. I had to condition myself not to stare at random grownups, wondering if they could be my parents. I haven’t returned to Bataan, but the couple I lived with know how to reach me.
It would be easy enough for my parents to find me if they tried. ”
My heart bled for her because even though her voice was steady, there were shadows in her eyes.
Reaching out, I gently cradled her cheek.
“My gut tells me they are looking after you. That they’ve been with you every step of the way.
But whatever happened, you made it through and got yourself here, and I’m damn thankful for that. ”
Her jaw flexed beneath my hand. Looking away, she murmured, “You’re supposed to be studying.”
“I need to eat, don’t I?”
As if on cue, our food arrived. Maya leaned away from me as the waitress began unloading her tray. I watched her stare at each dish with widening eyes.
“You didn’t tell me the servings are this big,” she said. “We ordered too much.”
I chuckled. “We’ve got this.”
As we dug in, I asked about her day. She told me what they got up to in boot camp and how Eric had decided to finally ask Nikki out.
“I wish they’d just be together already. Everyone can see they’re in love with each other. You guessed it after hanging out with them once.”
“It was pretty obvious.” My brain latched onto something else she’d said. “So you do believe in love?”
“I mean, sure. For other people.”
“Why not for yourself?”
“If my own parents—the two people who should be biologically coded to love me—couldn’t love me, how can I expect some random person to?”
I stayed silent for a moment, choosing my words carefully. “I don’t mean to take away from how painful their disappearance must be, but that doesn’t mean no one will ever love you. What about your friends? Inang?”
She huffed a breath. “That’s a different kind of love.”
It was closer to the familial love she had referenced, but I didn’t argue that point. Instead, I asked, “Do you think that since Dani cheated on me, then every girl I date will cheat on me too?”
“That’s not the same thing,” she grumbled. “You’re a generally likable person. I’m not.”
“I believe we all have the right people who’ll see us for who we are and like us more for it.” Like how I see you , I stopped myself from saying.
Her lips pursed, and she avoided my gaze. “It doesn’t matter, because I’m not looking for that. All I want’s a job. Now, can we talk about something else? You’re killing my appetite.”
“Can’t have that,” I said lightly.
I moved the conversation to casual territory, telling her about how this little strip of restaurants and shops hosted events for local artists and bands.
Sometime between us finishing the tacos and ordering a second round of drinks—another beer for her, water for me—a girl with a guitar case walked over to the tiny platform up front and began setting up.
Maya’s shoulders loosened the more we ate, her laughter coming more freely. As the musician played the opening riffs of an old ballad, I glanced at Maya. Her lips curved in a small, soft smile, and I couldn’t look away.
“Time for you to study.” She spoke without taking her eyes off the musician.
Even though the last thing I wanted was to bring out my codal, I did. I put on my glasses, and Maya’s stare shifted to me. Her lips parted slightly, making me want to lean over and kiss her.
But then she blinked and said, “Study.”
So I did just that while the musician crooned in the background. I lost track of the songs and the time as I worked my way through the assigned chapters. But through it all, I was fully aware of Maya filling the space in front of me.
And I prayed to God that I’d have more of this.
Cam
At twenty-three years old, I finally had my first real date. It was nothing like I’d pictured. We were in the city, and Alonzo spent half our dinner studying with those glasses of his while I listened to music and him muttering to himself.
But it was perfect.
A little past midnight, Alonzo closed his book and paid the bill.
We wandered down the strip, pausing every so often as he told me stories: how his friend had gotten drunk at one bar’s happy hour and nearly took a nosedive down the narrow stairs.
How he’d gone thrifting with his sister Luna at one of the shops and found a vintage designer bag that they resold at a profit.
How he’d almost gotten a random flash tattoo but the line had been too long—and how that was a good thing because he wanted me to give him his first.
I almost said yes. If I had my kit in my rental, I probably would have.
At the end of the strip, he hailed us a taxi, saying it was safer than a jeep at this time of night.
The sides of our legs pressed together on the seat, and he placed one hand on my thigh.
It was at once comforting and arousing. His thumb coasted circles on my skin, shooting tingles straight to my core.
I pinned my hand on top of his, stalling his movements.
In response, he turned his hand over so our palms lined up.
It was the closest I’d ever come to holding a guy’s hand.
“Ready for your class?” I asked to take my mind off that realization.
“I don’t think I’m ever completely ready,” he said as he traced the edges of my thumb with his. “I’ll run through my notes again when I get home.”
“Do you always study that way?” At his questioning look, I clarified, “Talking to yourself?”
He chuckled. “Only when I’m trying to make sense of concepts in my head. No one ever pointed it out to me until…well, until I started law school.”
“When did you know you wanted to go into law?”
His finger stilled. “When I was six.”
I stared at him, amazed he had decided that at such a young age. Did I even know what a lawyer was when I was six?
“Remember what I told you about my parents’ business partner stealing from us?”
I nodded.
“I overheard my parents talking about how they could go after the guy if they had a good enough lawyer. But with the money they’d lost and having to pay for Lola’s chemo, they couldn’t afford anyone who could beat the guy’s defense.
” Alonzo’s gaze settled on our hands, though it seemed to pass right through them.
“I didn’t know what a lawyer was, so I asked Tala.
Things happened so fast after that—Papa left to work abroad and Mama took on more shifts at the hospital.
Tala pretty much looked after us at home. She was, what, twelve?”
“She sounds amazing.”
“Yeah. I felt useless. But even then, I knew I was smart. So I figured I’d use my brain to keep anything like that from happening to us again, and to help other people who might be in similar situations.”
My fingers curled into his as my chest swelled with an emotion I couldn’t name.
I wanted to tell him I was sorry for giving him shit about his family and that I felt for that lost six-year-old.
I wanted to tell him that I admired him for figuring out what he wanted and for sticking with it more than a decade later.
What came out of my mouth was “You’re amazing too.” I wished I could sink into the upholstery because that was the stupidest thing I could have said.
“I don’t know about that,” he murmured. “I almost got thrown out of class today because I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Oh.” I paused to consider how to respond. I’d said so many wrong things to him, hurting him in the process. I didn’t want to do that again, especially when it came to something so important. “Has that happened before?”
“No.” He stared straight ahead. “I’ve gotten the answers wrong, but I’ve never spaced out and missed a question entirely.”
“So it was an off day. You’re allowed to have them, you know.”
“I know. I’m just disappointed in myself.”
“Because you want to get things right.”
His jaw tightened. “Yeah.”
“I think that’s great. But maybe you don’t have to aim for perfect all the time. Maybe progress is just as good.” After I spoke, it hit me how unqualified I was to tell him that. “Of course, that’s my perspective as someone who didn’t even graduate, so you shouldn’t listen to me.”
He squeezed my hand. “No, you’re right. I get caught up in my idea of how things should be. The results. I forget that the process—the mistakes—those are also an important part of learning. And your opinions are just as valid as mine. I want to listen to all of them, anything you want to share.”
He raised my hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on the back. My heart seized. I’d experienced plenty of kisses before, but none of them came remotely close to the sweetness of this one.
My eyes lifted to meet his. It was like looking into a mirror, only instead of seeing my face, I saw my emotions reflected in his gaze.
I blinked and looked away, but my hand stayed where it was through the remainder of the ride.
When we got to my rental, he stayed outside the door, looking at me.
“Aren’t you coming in?” I asked.
His lips curved into the slightest hint of a smile. “If I do, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off you.”
“And?”
“And I told you. I’m not just in this for the sex.”
“Weren’t you the one who wanted to spend the night together?”
“Yeah, and we did—in a different way.” His smile grew. “Besides, you need to rest up. If tomorrow’s your last full night here, we’re going to make the most of it. And for the record, Maya? I happen to like you. I like you a whole damn lot.”
Before I could say a word, he stepped toward me and wrapped me in his arms. Every inch of me felt enveloped in his warmth. My head found a resting place in the center of his chest, and my arms wound around his waist.
Beneath my cheek, his heart raced. Then it slowed as we stayed like that—entwined in an embrace that made me feel the safest, most grounded that I’d ever been.
And for the first time in my existence, I wished I didn’t have to leave Manila at all.