Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Cam
A fter a quick call from Tala, Alonzo agreed to let their bodyguard drive us to my rental. As we sat in the backseat, it might have been a rerun of last night’s taxi ride if it weren’t for the fact that Kuya Lito wasn’t just any driver and that he would most likely report to Tala about me.
I wondered what Alonzo would tell her, or if I even wanted him to. From his stories, Tala seemed like she had been an honorary parent to him while he was growing up. What she thought of me mattered.
Alonzo leaned close to me and murmured, “I know this is weird, but I promise this isn’t how my life is normally.”
“Now you’re a celebrity by association,” I said, playing off the awkwardness that clung to my skin.
“It’s funny. When I found out Tala had a thing with Jason, I thought it was cool,” he said quietly as he stared at the back of the passenger seat.
“I wanted to brag about it to my friends. Then when Tala and Jason moved here, I realized how much it sucks to be anything by association. Popular by association, rich by association—it’s all smoke and mirrors.
I didn’t earn any of it. I never want to be measured by what someone else has or does. ”
I mulled over his words. “But don’t you want that? The riches and the fame?”
He turned to me, his brows pulled together. “I want security and respect, and the freedom that comes with both. If you swing to the extremes, you’re in a different kind of cage.”
It amazed me how he’d put my own thoughts into words. “I get that. To me, success doesn’t mean being the best. It’s knowing that I can provide for myself and the people I care about, while having the freedom to do what I enjoy.”
He smiled and put his hand on mine. “See? We want the same things.” His eyes widened. “That reminds me—how was boot camp? You met with your manager, right?”
“Potential manager,” I corrected. “I did.”
“And?”
“It was okay.” I hadn’t planned to say more than that, but I found myself adding, “She told me they’re going to implement a new policy where they’ll have face-to-face days each month.”
His fingers tightened. “Seriously? So you’ll be in town once a month?”
“ If I get hired. And I accept.”
“You will be hired.” He hesitated. “I thought you wanted the job. Are you having second thoughts?”
“I thought it would be fully remote.”
“It’s just a few days, right?” he asked. “Is Manila that bad?”
No. I’d painted it as the villain for so long, but the layers had chipped and faded over time. It wasn’t until Alonzo that I recognized the changes in my perspective. “It’s not that it’s bad. It’s just not for me.”
He flinched. Moving his hand to grip his thigh, he faced forward. “Got it.”
I did the same and caught Kuya Lito’s glance in the rearview mirror. His eyes shifted as soon as I spotted him, but I felt ashamed that he’d witnessed me hurting Alonzo.
Alonzo, who’d made me feel more seen in a few days than any other man had in my lifetime.
I wanted to grab his hand and promise him I’d find a way to see him more often.
I wished I could be the kind of girl who believed in whirlwind romances and fairytale endings—the kind who could gamble everything on a guy who might as well be Prince Charming.
But I didn’t have the luxury of risking this little life I built.
Not when I was still trying to strengthen its foundation.
So even though my fingers twitched to pull him back, I balled them into a fist and fixed my eyes on the license plate of the car ahead of us.
It was better this way, I convinced myself. Better to cut this fantasy short before we got lost in it.
Yet that didn’t stop me from wishing I’d have this one last night with Alonzo.
Alonzo
After the longest ride of my life, Kuya Lito pulled up in front of Maya’s building. Maya and I thanked him, and I opened the door and stepped out, holding it for her.
“Aren’t you going to ride home with him?” she asked as she got out.
I frowned. “What do you mean? I told you I was staying the night.”
“But—I thought you were mad at me.”
I ducked my head inside the car and told Kuya Lito to take care. Then I closed the door and turned to Maya. “You thought I was leaving.”
“You were mad.”
“I was disappointed,” I said, still feeling the sting of her rejection. “That doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you. If this is the only time we have left, I’m not wasting it.” I paused. “Unless you want me to leave.”
“No.”
“Good.”
When we got to her room, she tugged my shirt up, but I stopped her. “My turn.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to argue, and then she seemed to change her mind about it. “Fine.”
Maybe she was making up for taking the lead last time, or maybe she was giving me this chance because she couldn’t give me a bigger one. Whatever the reason, I was taking it.
Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I put my hand on the side of her neck, lining up my thumb under the curve of her jaw. She blinked and her pulse raced beneath my touch. But she didn’t protest. Instead, she slanted her head the slightest bit to the right, tipping it up.
I leaned forward and kissed her slowly. Taking my time to memorize the softness of her lips, the way her breath hitched as I deepened the kiss. Her arms circled my neck, and I wrapped my free arm around her waist and pulled her into my body. She felt lush and alive and so fucking mine.
My blood rushed through my veins as her lips opened for my tongue, and it was the sweetest torment I’d ever felt. She answered my every stroke with her own, meeting my desire and multiplying it tenfold.
I could stay with her like this forever—just me and her, in our own tiny corner of the world.
Too soon, she broke the kiss and stared up at me. “We said we’d only do this if you study.”
“I will, later.”
“You shouldn’t let anyone distract you from your goals.” She directed the words to me, but I wondered if she was saying them for her benefit too.
“You’re not a distraction. You’re inspiration.”
“Your studies are important.”
“They are, and they’ll be here after you leave.” Seeing how her lips flattened further, I said, “I’ll study while you’re sleeping. If that’s not enough, I’ll make up for it during my next class. You’re important to me too.”
“Alonzo.”
“You arguing with me won’t change the truth.”
“You’re turning this into something bigger than it is.”
“I’m not. It’s not just big—it’s monumental.” I cupped her face and held her gaze, hoping she would see the reality of my emotions in my eyes. “I’m gone over you, Camaya Cruz.”
“I told you not to call me that,” she whispered, her eyes soft. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“We all get hurt one way or another.” I caressed the slope of her cheekbone. “I’d rather wipe out chasing an epic wave than miss out on what could have been the ride of a lifetime.”
A smile tugged at her lips as she shook her head.
“I thought you’d like that.”
She sighed and put a hand on my waist. “Don’t blame me for your decision.”
“Never.” Taking that as a go-signal, I dipped my head to kiss the spot beneath her ear.
Shivering, Maya released a breath and craned her head to the side to allow me more access. I took advantage of it, peppering kisses down the slope of her neck before stopping right above her collarbone. I traced it with my tongue, and the taste of her skin made me dizzy with want.
I needed weeks to savor every inch of Maya.
More.
I paused just long enough to take her shirt off, and then my lips returned to her skin, picking back up where I stopped.
Reaching behind her, I unclasped her bra.
Her soft sighs filled my ears as I worshipped her breasts with my mouth.
At the first swirl of my tongue around her nipple, she gasped.
Her legs seemed to buckle, so I caught her by the waist and lifted her to the bed.
“Is this your way of showing off your muscles?” she asked breathlessly as she lay back on the mattress and reached for her waistband.
I halted her by covering her hand with mine. “Babe, if I wanted to show off, I’d fuck you standing up without a wall for support.”
She sat up. “Do it.”
“Not now. Remember, I told you I wanted to savor you.” What I wanted to tell her was that I wanted to make love to her.
But that was a surefire way to scare her off.
Drawing her hand away from her pants, I eased her back down onto the mattress as I braced one knee on either side of her thighs. “My turn to undress you.”
Her stomach contracted on her inhale. I smoothed my palm along the curve of her side and moved to kiss her belly button, but she shook her head.
“Not my stomach,” she said.
I paused. “Are you ticklish?”
“No.” Something flashed in her eyes before she added, “It’s not flat.”
“It isn’t,” I agreed. Her mouth opened, but I continued before she could say anything. “It’s soft and silken and strong enough to keep you stable on your board. When I say I love your curves, Maya, I mean all of them.” I pressed my lips to the swell of her stomach.
If she’d let me, I’d spend hours convincing her I meant what I said, but I felt her tensing beneath me.
So I sat up and took my shirt off. Her stare moved slowly down my torso, tempting me to relinquish control. To hurry it up and take what she offered.
But I wanted her to know that this was special—that she was special and worthy of care.
She wasn’t ready to accept the words, so I’d let her feel them instead.
In the way I slowly eased her waistband down and kissed the marks left by the elastic.
In how I caressed her as I undressed her and took my time between her thighs.
I loved how responsive she was. How she communicated her pleasure with breathy moans and the grinding of her hips and the bite of her nails on my scalp.
She didn’t shy from my attention—in fact, she opened up for it, spreading her legs and lifting her hips so I could lick deeper into her.
Her scent saturated my every inhale and her taste coated my tongue, and I wished I could capture this moment and relive it every night.
“So good— yes .”
Her thighs trembled as she came, and despite the stark desire that thrummed through me, I stayed there until she groaned that it was too much.
But there was no such thing as too much when it came to Maya.
Finally, I took off my pants and underwear, sheathing myself with hands that shook from sheer need.
I tried to keep my eyes open, to take in every nuance on her face as I carefully entered her.
But as I sank deeper, her lips parted, neck arching, and the sight of her pleasure had my head drawing back.
Pulling out, I tilted her hips upward and thrust harder.
“Fuck,” she cried out. “More.”
I gave her what she asked for, holding back the orgasm that threatened to overtake me. She wound her legs around my waist, and I ground against her clit, drawing out her moans.
“You like this, babe?” I asked, needing her words. I wanted to make her feel so good she’d never forget me.
“ Yes .”
The clenching of her inner muscles almost had me losing it. I kissed her, our mouths moving together as our bodies did. Suddenly, it was too much. My climax barreled into me, stealing my breath.
In the next second, she came too.
As our chests heaved and we struggled for breath, I sent a quiet plea to God to help me find a way to make her stay.