Chapter 41 #2
I didn’t because I had never felt this level of rage at Aaron.
“Who’s making threats? I’m stating facts.
Also, Aaron never took something that wasn’t willingly given to him.
It’s not the same.” Right then and there, I promised to master the laws regarding harassment, identify the fucker’s name, and do whatever I could to ensure justice was served.
Maya smiled, and this time, it contained a hint of humor. “I can almost hear what you’re planning. Don’t bother. He doesn’t deserve your time or your brain space.”
“You can’t hit me with that revelation and not expect me to want to do something.” This was why I went into law—to have the means to protect the people I loved.
Yes, loved . I’d come to terms with my feelings for Maya. More than that, I embraced them. She was the girl I wanted to be with, and that meant not pushing her to stay when she needed to go. When she needed to be in the place where she felt safe. At peace.
“It’s my past and my choice to share it with you.
” The corners of Maya’s mouth tightened.
“I didn’t do it so you’d feel sorry for me and try to get revenge on my behalf.
I told you because I trust you and I want you to know why I am the way I am.
You don’t have to do anything but keep that in confidence. ”
“I will. I promise. Thank you for trusting me.” Wishing I could stop the car and embrace her, I searched for the words that would capture my emotions but came up short.
“You’re the third person I’ve told. Aside from the ones who don’t matter.”
“I’m honored.”
I expected her to tell me not to make her regret it, but she didn’t. She simply nodded and stared straight ahead. Taking a sip from the tumbler, she tucked her free thumb into the seat belt that stretched across her lap.
“Is the seat belt bothering you?”
“What? No.” She let go of it and planted her hand on her lap.
“Good. Here’s something else to hold on to.” I lay my hand palm up on the center console, leaving the decision up to her. More than once, she’d had other people take her choice away. I would never do the same.
Glancing at her, I caught her looking at my lap and then my hand.
She snorted. “I thought that was a come-on.”
“I would be an ass if I did that, especially after what you told me.”
“Don’t tiptoe around me. I told you, I’ve studied self-defense. Took a couple of free counseling sessions Eric recommended. I make my own choices now.”
“Good. So it’s your choice if you want to hold my hand.”
Shaking her head, she said, “How can you be so cheesy after all the filth you say in bed?”
“I contain multitudes. Is that a no?”
“No.” She put her hand in mine. Her fingers that could type intricate code and just as easily ink art on skin seemed stiff against mine.
I rubbed my thumb across her pointer finger, moving slowly. Gently.
Her fingers relaxed on her sigh. “Alonzo.” My name sounded like a plea on her lips.
“I know. You need to go.”
“You made this week so much better than I imagined.”
“Good. But you should know this isn’t goodbye.” I felt a tremor go through her hand at my words.
“It’s not going to work,” she muttered.
“Don’t count me out yet. Why don’t we try and find out?”
She stayed silent.
“We’ve slept together. Told each other secrets. Held hands.” She tried to shake my hand off at that statement, and I remembered my promise. No force. “Do you want me to let go?”
“Y—” She cut herself off. Sighed. “No. Fuck me.”
“We’ll be late for your bus, but I won’t say no.”
She laughed. “Smartass. You know what I meant.”
“We could get you another ticket.”
“We could. But I need to be home.”
Selfishly, I wished she would choose me over Juana. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I dropped it.
She’d spent her whole life looking for home. Who was I to take that away from her?
Cam
It should have been strange, holding a man’s hand. I’d never done it with anyone else before, not in any way that had meaning. Alonzo had touched me in more intimate places, and yet nothing felt more significant than how we were sitting in a car together, my fingers fully entwined with his.
Maybe it was because this was my decision, and one I didn’t make out of lust, anger, or pride.
I’d made it out of trust. And damn if that wasn’t the scariest thing of all.
The lights of the bus station came into view, and my fingers tightened around his. As much as I longed to be home, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Manila.
To him.
Because over the course of five days, he’d reshaped the memories I had of this city.
He’d shifted my insecurity over some girls’ comments into acceptance that people would always find something to criticize, my anxiety over the rundown room into appreciation that I’d found a man who respected boundaries, and my fear of my previous trauma into triumph that I had taken my power back.
Even if I never saw Alonzo again, I would forever be grateful to him for that.
“Shit,” he muttered. “There’s no parking.”
“Just drop me off,” I said, ignoring the bone-deep desire to take it as a sign that we should keep on driving. It didn’t matter what the destination was, so long as he was my companion.
He stopped near the entrance and scanned our surroundings as though an opening would appear amidst the tangle of cars. “I’ll look for a slot.”
“Alonzo. The bus leaves in ten minutes.” Shut up , my heart shouted at me.
“That’s ten minutes more that you can enjoy holding my hand.”
A laugh sputtered out of me. “Such a weirdo.”
“You like that about me. I bring humor into your life.”
“Uh huh.” I squeezed his hand and forced my fingers to let go. “This is my stop.”
He looked into my eyes, and the sincerity in his gaze nearly obliterated my resistance. “Are you sure you want to get on that bus?”
“I need to get on that bus.” I wasn’t lying. He’d unlocked a spectrum of emotions within me that I’d never glimpsed before—never imagined I would be capable of feeling. Between that and my overstimulation from days of socializing, I needed to recharge. Needed to clear my head.
As though he could read my mind, he nodded slowly. “Okay. There are things I need to say, but I know now isn’t the time. You’ll see me soon though.”
“Going to make noise in Nikki’s café again?”
“You bet. I’ll miss you, Maya.”
“It was five days.”
“And yet, look at us.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but what for? He was right, and we only had so much time left.
Giving in to my impulse, I unbuckled my seatbelt and leaned across the console to kiss him. One last kiss to tide me over until our paths crossed again.
He chased my lips as I moved away, but his seatbelt tugged him back.
“Thanks for the ride.” I swung the door open. “See ya, Manila.”
If my eyes had a camera, I would have captured him smiling like he did at this very moment. But the image would be emblazoned in my memory even without one.
“I can deal with that,” he said. “Take care, Maya. No goodbyes.”
My eyes stung, and I took that as my cue to go. Stepping out, I gave him one last wave and forced myself to close the door and walk away.
After two steps, a honk sounded behind me. He’d put the passenger window down and shouted, “I’ll miss your ass too.”
I barked out a laugh. And damn, but I could also say the same about him.