Chapter 45
Chapter Forty-Five
Alonzo
Alonzo
So do you miss me now?
Maya
i miss the mais con yelo
Alonzo
Told you it was good. What about the guy who got it for you?
Maya
not rly
maybe jst a bit
Alonzo
That’s a good start
On Sunday, we drove to a private farm-to-table restaurant an hour away from the city for our family brunch. The tension between me and my dad was palpable, but Tala and Jason did their best to lighten the mood in the car.
The restaurant was a traditional wood and stone house, and the ground floor opened to a flowering garden. With a breeze coming in alongside the chirps of birds, the place was peaceful.
So peaceful that my head hung back and my jaw opened in a wide yawn.
Across the table, Mama gave me a concerned look. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just need sleep.” I’d managed to get a full seven hours, only waking up early because I’d set my alarm for a run. But I still hadn’t caught up on the sleep I’d missed.
“Are you working later?” Tala asked.
“Of course.” I needed to clock in as many hours as possible so I could go on a weekender to Juana. If I found someone to cover my Saturday shift, I could take the last bus out Friday night and be back before work on Sunday.
Best case scenario, I’d take Sunday off too. Anything to prolong my time with Maya.
“If you didn’t keep going out, you’d get more sleep,” Papa grumbled. “Then you’d be able to concentrate on your classes.”
“I know. But I need a life too,” I said tightly, all traces of my relaxation gone.
“You need to get your priorities in check,” he snapped. “Do you want to be a successful lawyer? Then you need to learn to make sacrifices.”
My jaw clenched. “I want to be successful but not at the expense of my happiness.”
“That’s the problem with your generation. It’s all about you . Being happy.” Papa blustered. “Where’s the discipline? The commitment?”
“Juan,” Mama spoke up in an attempt to calm him down.
Glaring at my dad, I said, “Are you kidding me? I stayed here in Manila to be with Mama while all of you left. I chose to pursue law so I could defend our family if need be. I’ve been working while studying so I won’t need to rely on you for money. And you’re calling me selfish ?”
I sprang out of my seat, unwilling to hear another word from him. “Sorry,” I said to the rest of my family. “I need some air. Excuse me.”
I headed out to the garden, my entire body burning with anger and humiliation.
So much for peaceful. Good thing we had the place to ourselves, or we would have ruined the meal for other diners.
There was also the risk that this too would have ended on social media.
As it was, I was ashamed to look the staff in the eye.
Breathing deeply, I tried to calm down. I fixed my eyes on the bougainvillea flowers spilling over the bordering wall, and the bird that swooped over it.
Maya. I thought of Maya and her faux glares that gave way to reluctant laughter. The way she looked coasting over the water, like poetry in motion. I thought of her next to me—eating or asleep or simply existing.
I reached into my pocket, intending to call her. But I heard grass rustling behind me, and I turned around to find Mama approaching.
“Can I join you?” she asked in a soft voice.
I had wanted my solitude, but I couldn’t say no to her. “Sure.”
She wove her arm through mine, and we walked together in silence for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry I lost it back there,” I told her.
“I understand why you did. Your father—” She sighed. “It’s been difficult for him to come home and realize that you and your sisters aren’t kids anymore. He’s still learning to accept that Luna has a life of her own in the US, and Tala’s getting married, and?—”
“And I’m failing at being the perfect student,” I said bitterly.
She pulled me to a stop. “You’re not failing. Failing means you stopped trying, and I haven’t seen you stop. You keep pushing yourself to perform at a standard you set. I admire you for that, but I admit that I’m glad that you’re setting aside time to do things that make you happy.”
“Papa isn’t.”
Shaking her head, she said, “He’s learning. But it’s harder to change our ways now since we’ve lived with them for years. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It just takes more time—and patience.”
“I don’t have a lot of that.”
“You have more than you give yourself credit for.” She started walking again, and I kept pace beside her. “It takes patience to go after a career like yours, especially because you have to postpone some milestones other people your age might be experiencing.”
My throat felt scratchy. How could Mama zero in on exactly what had been nagging me since last summer?
“I know it’s tough, but you’re doing so well. I’m incredibly proud of you, and I want you to know what a comfort you’ve been to me. It was hard for me too, being left behind.” Her voice grew unsteady. “You helped to keep me going. My steadfast, dependable son.”
I stopped walking and looked at her. “Mama?—”
She smiled, though her eyes were glassy. “Don’t look so stressed. I just want you to know that I appreciate you. And I want you to be happy.”
My heart swelled. Of all the compliments and reassurances I’d received, those coming from my mom always hit me the hardest. They weren’t flowery or extremely profound.
But coming from the person who birthed me and witnessed each season of my life—and who loved me throughout it all—they meant the world.
“Thank you, Mama.” Hugging her, I whispered, “There’s this girl I want to introduce to you one day.”
She lifted her head to look at me. “I had a feeling about that.”
Maybe I was getting ahead of myself, given that Maya and I weren’t officially dating yet.
But I wanted Maya to meet my family. I wanted to see how she would respond to Mama’s caring nature.
I could imagine her observing my sisters and chiming in with her candid perspective.
The guys she’d be wary of at first, but I had no doubt she’d warm up to them too.
One step at a time , I reminded myself. She hadn’t argued against me visiting. That alone was a sign of how far we’d come.
Next, I had to find out if she was ready to go even further.
But before that, I had to figure out how to deal with my dad.