Chapter 48
Chapter Forty-Eight
Alonzo
C atching my breath, I toweled off my sweat and grabbed my water bottle.
A robotic voice narrated my case assignment in my ears as I rolled up my exercise mat and placed it back in our garage closet.
I was still getting my rhythm back after skipping workouts last week, but I felt stronger. Less stressed.
I headed inside the house to have a late dinner, only to pull up short when I found Papa watching TV in the living room. Mama was nowhere to be found.
I almost changed my mind about eating, but my stomach was growling and I had hours of studying to fuel up for. So I ignored my trepidation and feigned nonchalance as I prepared my plate of leftover torta and rice.
From the corner of my eye, I tracked Papa walking into the kitchen. My finger froze on the microwave controls as he stood behind his usual chair at the dining table.
This was the first time we were alone together since Sunday, both of us avoiding each other. All I wanted was to go to my room and eat dinner while catching up with Maya, but Papa obviously wanted to talk. And it was overdue anyway.
Pressing start , I took off my earphones and braced myself.
“I’m sorry about Dani,” he said gruffly.
Now that I didn’t seem coming. “That’s in the past. I’m okay with it now—we both are.”
He was quiet. “I didn’t know about it until recently.”
Was it just me or was there hurt in his voice?
“I didn’t think you’d be interested .” You didn’t seem to like her anyway , I held back from adding.
Papa put a hand on the back of his chair. “I wish you’d told me. It would have helped me understand why you acted out of the ordinary last Christmas.”
Would you have understood, or would you have told me that I shouldn’t let a relationship distract me from my goals?
“I had to hear about it from your mom,” he continued. “Just like when you have plans to sleep somewhere else or use the car.”
I opened my mouth to argue. Then I rethought my words. “Can I be honest?”
He nodded.
“I never thought you wanted to hear about those things. Whenever you talk to me, it’s about school or work. If I mention anything else, you bring the discussion back to what my priorities should be.”
“I’m just concerned about you and your future. This—being a lawyer—it’s what you’ve wanted since you were a kid.”
“You don’t have to remind me—I know. I get that you’re concerned about my studies.
” I kept my voice level despite the frustration that reared up inside me.
“So am I, but there’s more to me than my grades.
You support my goals, but I wish you supported me as a person too.
I don’t want my whole life to revolve around this career that I’m chasing. I want to have a life.”
The microwave beeped, the sound louder in the silence.
The lines on his forehead deepened, and I anticipated further arguments. Him issuing threats about following his rules while I lived under his roof.
The microwave beeped again, and I turned it off. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Dani and that I often go through Mama. I’m used to talking to her about those things.” And I trust her to understand where I’m coming from , I held off from saying.
Sighing, Papa glanced away. “She said you’re planning to go to La Union tomorrow.”
“I am.” My body locked in anticipation of him forbidding me from leaving.
“Do you want to use the car?”
“What?”
His eyes moved back to me. The look in them made him seem resigned. “Do you want to bring the car to La Union?”
“I was planning to take the bus. I can study and sleep there,” I answered, wondering if I was in the twilight zone. Was he actually conceding the argument?
“Kuya Lito can drive for you. I’ll check with Jason.”
“It’s okay—I’m used to the bus and I don’t want to ask for more favors from Jason.”
Papa’s shoulders sank. Suddenly, he looked older—frailer, somehow. “He’s done a lot for our family. More than I could have.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“But it’s the truth.” He rubbed a hand over his mouth. “It’s humbling to have another person provide for my family better than I have.”
His admission silenced me. Never had I heard him acknowledge anything even close to weakness. He always acted the tough, no-nonsense dad, upholding the stereotype that men—particularly the heads of a household—were always right. That they weren’t allowed to be weak or to need help.
For him to display vulnerability was completely out of pocket, and I didn’t want to dismiss that. We had our disagreements, but here he was, trying.
I spoke carefully. “You’ve provided for us for a long time. You and Mama. Also, Jason’s not just any person—he’s your future son-in-law.”
“I know,” he murmured, his eyes shadowed. He cleared his throat. “Your mama warned me that I would ruin my relationship with you kids by being too set in my ways.”
“We don’t need you to change your ways necessarily. We just want you to give us the space to find our own,” I said.
He seemed to ponder my words. After a moment’s pause, he dipped his head and turned to leave. Then he glanced back at me. “This will always be your home. Mama and I would be happy for you to live here as long as you want.”
I felt a prickle in my nose. “Thank you, Papa,” I said, my voice coming out rough.
He gave me another nod before excusing himself.
After Dani knocked my world off its axis, I thought nothing could surprise me more. Then Maya came along, forcing me to rethink everything I’d known. Now, here was my dad talking to me like I was more than just an extension of his genes and the fulfillment of his dreams.
Even though he could be strict and forbidding, I always knew that he loved me. Mama expressed her love in words and affectionate touches, whereas Papa did so by being a provider and a protector. One wasn’t better than the other—it was just another way my parents complemented each other.
As I brought my food to my room, I remembered Mama telling me how Papa was struggling with the fact that we kids had grown up without him. I was glad I’d told him about my need for independence, but at the same time, I realized I needed to be more patient with him too.
Was this what adulting meant?
My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I smiled when I saw Maya’s name on the screen.
Setting my plate down on the desk, I answered, “Hey, Maya. I just finished talking with Papa. How are you?”
“I was worried when you weren’t replying,” she said. “Is everything okay with your dad?”
I propped the phone upright and switched to video mode. Maya was at her desk, wearing a sando with her hair loose. Fuck, I missed her. Saturday couldn’t come soon enough.
“Alonzo?”
“Sorry, I got distracted looking at you.”
She groaned, but a smile played on her lips. “Focus. Your dad.”
“Right.” I recounted the conversation, watching her expression shift from concern to surprise to sympathy. Not long ago, she’d maintained her indifferent act around me, and it moved me how much she had opened up.
When I finished, she told me, “That’s nice, what you said to your dad.”
“I thought about how if I were in his shoes, I might feel the same way.”
“You’re good at that,” she said. “Understanding how people feel and trying to make them feel better.”
Had I ever gotten a better compliment from her? “Thanks. That means a lot.”
She shrugged, seeming uncomfortable. “Wait, is that your food?”
I glanced down at the meal I’d forgotten. “Yeah.”
“Go eat. It’s almost ten-thirty.”
Nodding, I ate a spoonful. It had already gone cold, but I didn’t want to take a break from our call to warm it up again. “How about you—how was your day?”
“It was okay. The waves were good, and I finished the monthly maintenance for my old client,” she said. “I got your note.”
I grinned. “Did the sampaguitas survive?” I’d tucked the small, fragrant flowers in with a monogrammed napkin from where my family had that fancy brunch.
“They dried out but I can still smell them a bit.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you told your family about me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“We’re not…”
Taking the pressure off her, I said, “I told you I’m serious about you. That’s why I’m going there, so we can talk things through in person.”
“I’m not meet the family material.”
“I disagree. You’re incredible, Maya. I want you in my life as much as I want to be part of yours, and that means introducing you to the people who matter most to me.”
Her gaze dropped.
In a softer voice, I said, “I’m sorry if that stressed you out. I don’t want to pressure you about that or anything else.”
“Is that why you haven’t asked about the job?”
My stomach turned to lead. “Yeah.” I’d held back from asking so many times out of fear that I’d slip and beg her to accept it. I didn’t want to influence her decision and have her resenting me for it down the line. “Have you decided if you’re taking it?” I asked cautiously.
“I’m waiting for them to get back to me about the salary. Anyway, I have until Monday.”
I let out a breath. She hadn’t said no, then. I was already bracing myself for it, but whatever choice she made, I would find a way to make things work and to support her.
So long as she didn’t close the door on me.