Prologue #2
Mr. Carmichael clears his throat, which signals that class will now begin.
I quickly glance around me at all three of the boys.
Jayson and Julien tower at six feet tall with their metallic-gray eyes and dark brown hair.
Jayson’s hair is slightly longer and curls around his ears and against his neck, while Julien keeps his shorter and has a bit of a mohawk going on with his spiky bangs.
I always think of them as my moonshine because of their silver-colored eyes.
Ryder is my sunshine with his amber eyes speckled with yellow and green.
He is about an inch shorter than the twins and has almost black hair cut short on the sides and longer at the top.
I am the fairy starlight in our universe.
I have platinum blond wavy hair that reaches past my shoulders and am tall for a girl at five foot eight inches.
We just started our tenth-grade year and we're already talking about what colleges we want to apply to when we become seniors. We spent a lot of evenings over the summer talking and finally decided that we would all apply to Carolina University. These boys are my family just like I am part of theirs, and we want to stay together and experience college life together, just like we have experienced everything else together growing up. Ryder couldn’t care less about going to college but is going to do it with us anyway.
He knows his future is secure since he plans to join his dad, Randy, at the garage.
His dad owns Randy's Custom Auto, and we spend almost as much time there as we do at own homes.
I think about what will happen to my sister when I leave for college.
She is a year younger than us and in ninth grade, but we have always included her in everything we do.
That’s changed recently. Hailey has been distancing herself from me and her best friend Brea.
She stays out all night and then sneaks back inside when she thinks everyone is sleeping.
Rumor is she has a secret boyfriend who has taken up most of her time, but if so, she doesn’t talk about him.
I’m pretty sure I've heard her crying in the bathroom in the middle of the night.
I saw bruises on her hip the other morning; ones she brushed off with a lame excuse.
She's always making excuses when I try to talk to her.
I want to believe Hailey when she tells me everything is fine.
We used to be so close. She was the person I would go to first to tell my secrets.
Since I was surrounded by boys, she was my girlie time.
We did each other’s hair and make-up. We painted each other’s toes.
We would sneak into each other’s rooms at night to snuggle close, and Hailey would read me the poems she wrote.
She has such beautiful thoughts. Her poetry is magical, the way she weaves words into pictures that sound like music. I miss those times. I miss Hailey.
A hand on my arm breaks me from my thoughts. Jayson’s eyebrows draw together as he looks at me.
“Hey. You okay?” He must think I'm still upset about the text from Jacinda.
Noticing most of the other students are gone and several are shuffling out the door, I realize that first period has ended, and I missed most of it. Luckily, I can swipe notes from Jayson, Julien, or Ryder later at lunch. I know they’ll catch me up on what I missed.
“Yeah, sorry. I was actually thinking about Hailey. She skipped out this morning.”
Ryder takes my book and notebook from my desk, shoves everything into my bag, and picks it up to sling it over his shoulder. Julien steps next to him, and we all head out of the class.
“What’s Hailey’s problem lately?” Ryder asks, leading us toward my locker so I can get the stuff I need for my next class.
One of them always walks me to my classes. I engineered it that way to for my own protection. That’s another long story.
I shrug my shoulders at Ryder to answer his question with and take my bag from him. Julien leans against the locker next to mine while Jayson and Ryder stand behind me. Someone skips up to Julien and grabs his arm.
“Julien, hi.”
I exhale an aggravated huff when I hear her voice. Freakin’ Samantha Winters. She’s just as bad as Jacinda. They’re best friends.
Samantha and Jacinda are the two head cheerleaders here at school, and they have been after Jayson, Julien, and Ryder’s attention since grade school.
Jayson and Julien always have girls chasing after them, especially since they’re head jocks for their sports.
Jayson is the youngest captain of the varsity swim team, and Julien is a co-captain for the soccer team.
Even though Ryder doesn't do school athletics, he has his own fanbase of girls vying for his attention. Ryder is like the bad boy of the group, even though he’s really the sweetest person in the world.
Since his family owns and runs a custom auto shop, he grew up working on cars and motorcycles.
He used to race his motorbike, but as soon as he turned sixteen, he started racing his custom ‘15 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat in the Fields, which is our town’s version of street racing out in the sticks.
Mr. Jacoby, a local farmer, owns a lot of property and allows the kids in town to use an abandoned field to race.
The sheriff’s department knows about it and allows them to do it as long as no one gets hurt and it keeps street racing off the town’s roads.
Except for what happened last night, it’s been so far, so good.
I look over at Jacinda and Samantha. In my defense, it’s not like I hate all cheerleaders.
I just don’t particularly care for those two.
We have gone to school together our entire lives and not once have they ever said a nice word to me.
The opposite in fact. They go out of their way to say nasty, passive-aggressive things any chance they get.
I know why. I get it. It’s because I’m with the boys.
I have the boys’ attention and time. It drives Samantha, Jacinda, and several other girls here at school crazy, and not in a good way.
Julien brushes off Samantha, moving her hand off his arm.
I open my locker and a piece of paper drops out onto the floor.
Several guys and a couple more cheerleaders walk up to our group at my locker.
Thinking that it’s from Hailey about why she skipped out today, I open it.
I immediately see that it’s not a note. It’s one of her poems.
Broken Butterfly
she wanted to fly but her wings were broken,
she dreamed dreams but they weren't allowed to be spoken,
her feelings pushed down her throat left her choking,
he beat her down on the ground but she's still hoping,
body, soul, spirit all burned,
wishing that her family would see and be concerned,
fighting him isn't a battle it's a war,
every breath is now a chore,
she can't get air, can't fly, can't soar,
can't leave this dark room can't even find the door.
loneliness consumes her, she sees all the darkness never the light,
she doesn't see a tunnel with an end in sight,
she sees the pitch black the world is night,
no one is there to tell her everything will be alright.
she's dead inside but no one knows,
how the blood boils how the heart slows,
because this was not the life she chose,
when she sleeps, she dreams, she can still hear her screams,
her sister replaced her,
the pain he inflicted chased her,
his love like a disease,
no one hears her cries, no one hears her pleas,
in her dark world fallen on her knees,
thinking death is better than life
help me please!
one final blow is all she can take,
before she dies for good with a final shake,
now all those people who called her a mistake,
can finally rest at ease when they go to her wake.
My heartbeat picks up, and I scan around, hoping to see Hailey.
I look back at the poem. Hailey always expresses herself in her poetry.
How she feels, the things that happened during the day, her life.
Always. I read the poem again. It’s heartbreaking.
Scary, desperate. I should have pushed more for her to talk to me.
I should have yelled and cursed and pleaded until she talked to me.
About the bruises. About why she wears long-sleeved shirts all the time now, even when it's hot outside.
About the sounds of crying I think I sometimes hear coming from her bedroom.
I fold the poem up and place it inside my bag and shut my locker.
Julien loops his arm around me. “How’s your song coming? Ready for the competition next month?”
I grew up around music and can play several instruments. My choir director asked me to compose an original piece that I will perform at a national competition next month.
“It’s coming along nicely. I can’t wait for you guys to hear it.”
They walk with me down the hall. My mind goes back to my sister.
Noticing my distraction, Jayson asks, “Liz, what’s going on?”
Again, I know he thinks I’m still upset about the stuff with Jacinda. I’m not. Honestly. Okay, well, sort of, but I’ll store it away until later when we can talk privately.
“It's nothing,” I reply, squeezing his hand and placing a quick kiss to his lips.
I hope.