Chapter 15
He Said Yes
It's been a week since the races at the Fields and the beach trip, and I just can't seem to stay away from Ryder.
I mean, I know we see each other at school every day and sometimes in the morning when I meet up with him and the guys for breakfast, but I love the times when it's just the two of us.
Nobody else around. No distractions. Just me and him.
God, I sound like a desperate, pathetic loser.
I felt like one last night too when I texted him to ask if he would like to show me around town today. I didn't go to the Fields last night because Daniel had made dinner reservations for us. He said he'd barely seen me all week and wanted us to spend some family time together.
Ryder texted me back immediately with a “yes” for today, then he showed up on my doorstep this morning after I had finished my run with Julien. Ryder arrived holding a box of donuts that I happily accepted and proceeded to devour.
Now, he and I are ambling down the quaint main street of Fallen Brook.
It's as picturesque as can be, with its old-fashioned window displays and old-timey brick work.
It even has a town square with a huge clock, much like the one in the Back to the Future movie.
Yes, it seems that I remember that movie too.
We're heading to a little bookstore at the corner that Ryder says I will love, when my stomach lets me know it wants food.
“Do you mind if we stop and get something to eat?”
Ryder laughs incredulously. “You can’t still be hungry after all of those donuts.”
“Hey! I ran eight miles this morning. Eight miles! I need at least another five thousand calories to make up for it. And I’m really, really hungry.”
“Ruby's Diner is two blocks away.”
“Sounds great. I'm craving cheesecake. Maybe some chips and salsa too. Better yet, some sweet potato fries and a chicken lettuce wrap.”
Ryder grimaces at my food choices. “I can’t wait to see you try to eat all of that.”
“Challenge accepted, my friend.”
I watch in fascination as Elizabeth finishes off her cheesecake and groans. “I’m not going to be able to get up.”
“I told you.” I chuckle, and she sticks her tongue out at me.
We’re sitting at one of the smaller tables in the back of the diner.
There was a group of college guys at a booth up front when we came in.
As we passed by their table, their gazes blatantly followed Elizabeth, not bothering to hide their interest in her.
I got insanely jealous. I can’t blame them though.
I would be checking her out too if I was in their group.
Elizabeth is absolutely gorgeous; you can't help but get caught in her beauty.
She takes a drink of her iced tea and relaxes back into her chair. “It was worth it. So good.”
“You and the new twins seem to be becoming good friends,” I casually say, making conversation.
Elizabeth went to their house Wednesday after school for a study group they started together. She later told me they just spent most of the time messing around and watching movies without doing much studying.
“They're cool. I like Meredith, but oh my gosh, that girl talks. A lot. Luckily, I don't have much to say, so we're a good fit.”
“Trevor likes you, you know.” Why did I say that?
Elizabeth splutters her drink and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “Not you as well. That’s what Mer keeps saying, but I don’t see it. Trevor is a massive flirt and likes to tease me about it, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me in that way.”
“He’s already given you a cute nickname.” He calls her Ace.
“Oh, my God, no, Ryder. Besides, even if he was, I’m not. Trevor is friend-zoned and is relegated to study buddy and cool guy I like to hang out with. Nothing more.”
Good. That makes me feel better.
“Trevor also doesn't see me as the girl with no memory, nor does he pity me because of what happened to me. It's easy to be around him and Mer because they didn't know the old me. They like me how I am now.”
“I like you. I like you a lot. And yes, I liked the old Elizabeth before the car accident, but I really like the new Elizabeth too.” Why won't my mouth stop talking?
She narrows those verdant eyes at me, but I can tell she's nervous about something by the way she starts reorganizing the sweetener packets in their little dish.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“What's different about me now that you like more than before?”
For a brief second, a haunted expression flickers across Elizabeth’s face before it’s gone.
I don’t think any of us will ever be able to imagine the hell Elizabeth must live in with no memory. She is basically having to start her life over from scratch. I wish Jay would ease up with the pressure he puts on her.
I rest my elbows on the table and lean in. “I like the way you aren't afraid to try new things.”
She looks surprised. “Was I afraid before?”
Chuckling, I admit, “Don't get me wrong. You used to love the thrill of doing new things, but I had to pester and coax you into it. Now, you just jump right in, no hesitation. Like driving your car on the track. You were hella-badass.”
Elizabeth's grin brings out her dimples. “What else?”
“I like how you aren't afraid to say what you want or what you like, or don't like. Before, you would just follow me or Jay or Jules in whatever we wanted.”
“Wow. Old me must have been dull. And a doormat.” She scrunches up her mouth in displeasure at the thought.
“You also hated exercising.”
She laughs—a deep, full sound that echoes off the walls of the diner. “Julien said something similar.”
Elizabeth looks across the table at me. She starts chewing on her thumbnail, and I sense she's nervous again. I gently pull her hand away from her mouth and place it on the table. She looks down at our hands and I can feel the mood shift around us.
“Ryder?”
“Hmm?”
“Would you like to go out on a date with me?”
Did she just ask me out?
“What?” I state a little too loudly. My heart thuds triple count.
She focuses that sage green sight on me again, and I’m instantly caught. “Go out on a date,” she repeats. “With me.”
I can only stare at her. My brain has fritzed out, and all I can think is, Holy sh—.
“Ryder?”
“What about Jay?” I blurt.
“What about Jayson? I’m not asking him out. I’m asking you out.”
There it goes again. My heart speeds up to quadruple time now.
I’ve spent years of my life pining for Elizabeth.
Watching from the sidelines as Jayson claimed her for his own.
Forced to watch all the times he held her and kissed her.
All the times I loved her and couldn’t be with her.
All the times Elizabeth and I would collide back together; pulled toward one another by buried feelings that we were forced to suppress because of that one night Jay went behind my back and stole her away from me.
The night when she chose him because she didn’t know that I was in love with her too.
Now it seems fate has given me a second chance. I think back to what Fallon said to me at the Fields—about how it was a good thing that Elizabeth had lost her memories. I understand now. I’m being given a second chance with her. But that chance may come at a price.
Elizabeth has no memory of what she and Jayson were to each other. She doesn't remember coming to my dad's garage that night before her accident, or about her asking me to give us a chance to be together, to test our ‘what if.’
What happens if I say yes, and her memory comes back?
Will she leave me and go back to Jay? Am I brave enough to take this second chance?
Jay is sure as hell not going to stand by and watch me and Elizabeth date.
A selfish part of me doesn’t care. Jay destroyed that nexus of our friendship years ago when he listened to me confess my feelings for Elizabeth, then immediately ran off to profess his love to her before I had a chance.
I may have stepped aside then, but I have never forgiven him for doing that. I also never stopped loving Elizabeth.
Realizing she has been waiting for my answer, I open my mouth the say something, but she beats me to it.
“It’s fine. I understand if you don’t feel the same way. I apologize if I was too forward,” she says quietly.
Do something, I yell at myself. Don’t be stupid. Grab ahold of this gift that you have wanted so much, for so long, and take it. Yes, there are so many things that can go wrong, but if I don’t seize this moment with her, I will regret it for the rest of my life.
It’s funny how random thoughts pop into your mind at unexpected moments. I suddenly remember Elizabeth’s words from the night she came to me after her fight with Jay. The night she chose to kiss me for the first time. The night she chose to stop fighting her feelings about us.
I’m done letting everyone make choices for me. I won’t do it anymore. How do I know what I want if I’m never given a choice, never given a chance to decide for myself?
Right now, she’s making a choice. A choice that is all hers. And she’s choosing me. Not Jayson. Not Julien. Me.
My hand snatches hers on the table.
“Yes.”
“Yes?” she asks, a glimmer of hope and happiness in the inflection of that one, simple word.
I reach over and take her other hand in mine, rubbing my thumbs across their silkiness and reveling in the fact I get to touch her like this.
“Yes,” I tell her with determination. “I would love to go out on a date with you. But we need to be careful, Elizabeth. Jayson and Julien aren’t going to understand. Especially Jayson.”
“I don’t want to cause any problems between the three of you. It’s like I told Julien. I feel it—that thing that’s between us—and I’m pretty sure you do, too.”
“I do,” I say, acknowledging the truth.
“These past weeks with you, Ryder, have made it clear to me just how much I like being with you. How badly I want to be with you,” she clarifies.
“And I would like to be able to explore that… with you. I can’t remember my past, but I want to start living in my present. I would like it to be with you.”
She lifts my hands to her lips, lips I am dying to kiss, and presses them softly against my curled fingers. Her eyes flutter close and her sigh causes goose bumps to erupt up my arms.
“I would like that too. Very much,” I confide.
Even though her eyes are closed, she continues talking to me in a hushed voice. “What we do is between us. You and me. It’s no one else’s business.”
Elizabeth opens her eyes and while watching me, nips my thumb with her teeth.
A spark zings down my hand and through my body.
We drift closer as we both lean over the table; that invisible string that has always connected us, pulling tauter.
I rub my thumb along her bottom lip and up along her cheekbone.
I can feel the heat of her blood come to the surface underneath my fingers, deepening the color of her skin before my eyes.
“Okay,” I hear myself tell her.
Her radiant smile lights up my soul. God, I love this girl.